Random Thoughts…

Michael Crabtree’s surgery on his Achilles tendon has provided fodder for commentators with regard to the degree of damage that injury does to the San Francisco 49ers Super Bowl aspirations. The Niners are too good a team to think that this one injury will reduce them to a middling team; Crabtree’s contributions last season were sufficiently significant that he will indeed be missed. Last year, Crabtree demonstrated the kind of play that folks expected from him when the Niners drafted him early in the first round in 2009. Last year, Crabtree caught 85 passes for 1105 yards and 9 TDs.

I think that the Niners will need to find someone on their roster – or available in some way – who can be a deep threat and keep defenses honest. They run the ball effectively – but that efficiency will be impacted if defensive coordinators do not have to protect the entire field. The Niners have Anquan Boldin and Mario Manningham on the roster as WRs; both are experienced and accomplished; neither is a consistent deep threat. The other WRs on the depth chart for now (Chad Hall, AJ Jenkins, Ricardo Lockette, Quinton Patton and Kyle Williams) combined to catch 14 passes for 212 yards and 1 TD last year – - and all of that production came from Kyle Williams. I am guessing that the Niners might be shopping for a speedy WR…

The NBA playoffs are proceeding at a glacial pace. The teams left in the playoffs have had enough time between games for the players to have read War and Peace and Moby Dick by now. Notwithstanding the schedule-stalling, there are NBA items to consider this morning.

The LA Clippers fired their coach, Vinny Del Negro, despite making the playoffs this year. This is Del Negro’s second stop on the coaching circuit; his time in Chicago was about as plain vanilla as one could script. In two seasons with the Bulls, the team record was 41-41 in both seasons. In his first year with the Clippers, the team went 32-50. In the strike-shortened season, the Clippers then went 40-26 and this year the team finished 56-26. In franchise history, the Clippers had never won 50 games in a single season.

The Clippers have been around since the 1970-71 season when they were the Buffalo Braves; they have had 24 head coaches in those 43 years; only two coaches have had winning records during their tenure with the Clippers:

    Larry Brown was 64-53 in 1992-93 for a .547 winning percentage
    Vinny Del Negro was 128-102 from 2010-13 for a .557 winning percentage.

The Clippers’ franchise record is 1303 – 2175 for a team winning percentage of .375. I am not trying to make the case that Vinny Del Negro is a great coach; he has a long way to go to demonstrate that. Nevertheless, using Wall Street terminology, his winning percentage is 182 basis points higher than the franchise norm. Normally, that does not get a guy fired.

Meanwhile, the Charlotte Bobcats are going to reclaim their nickname “Hornets”. The Charlotte franchise started out at the Hornets but the franchise moved to New Orleans after the then-owner and the city had a major falling-out. This year, the New Orleans Hornets decided to become the New Orleans Pelicans for reasons that are surely unclear to mere mortals. That left the “Hornets” nickname/mascot up for grabs and Michael Jordan grabbed the name for his Charlotte team beginning in the 2014-15 season. The Bobcats – soon to be the Hornets – are a franchise in need of something to generate fan interest.

Here are chilling data:

    The Bobcats came into the NBA as an expansion franchise in 2004. Only once – in the 2009-10 season – has the team finished over .500.

    In the strike-shortened season of 2011-12, the Bobcats finished 7-59, which is the lowest winning percentage for a season in the history of the NBA.

The franchise definitely needs to generate more fan interest/enthusiasm. If you live in the Charlotte area and happen to be interested in buying season tix for next year, you can get yourself deal. The Bobcats will sell you a season ticket for each of the next two seasons guaranteeing no price increase over that time and giving you first dibs on your seating preference for the time when the name change happens. Oh, and you also get a warm-up jacket with the Michael Jordan logo on it that says “Buzz City” – foreshadowing the return of the Hornets. The Bobcats only played to 80.3% of capacity this season so there are probably plenty of good seats available…

It should not surprise anyone to learn that the NBA markets its individual players as stars and that is the way it keeps itself front-and-center on outlets like ESPN. This year has not been kind to the stars that the NBA tries to market.

    Rajon Rondo had to have knee surgery about 4 months ago.

    Kobe Bryant tore his Achilles tendon as the Lakers lost in the playoffs.

    Russell Westbrook hurt his knee in the playoffs and the Thunder lost out.

    Derrick Rose never played a minute all season long for the Bulls.

I read a piece somewhere about the upcoming NBA Draft and the thread of the piece was that the “draft stock” for UCLA guard, Shabazz Muhammad, was cratering. When he agreed to play at UCLA last year, many regarded him as THE high school prospect in the country and everyone was sure he was a “one-and-done” player. Now, there are questions about his defense, his value as a teammate and the like. I saw UCLA play about 3 times last season and I have to say that Muhammad never jumped out at me as a player that NBA teams would tank a season to acquire.

The knock on Muhammad as a less than outstanding defensive player is justified; just looking at the body language – and ignoring the results – it appears as if he is much more engaged in the game when he has the ball in his hands as opposed to when the guy in front of him has the ball. The other thing that impressed me was that he scores a lot because he shoots a lot – the Carmelo Anthony playing model. I found these numbers that indicate I was not that far off base:

    In 32 games last year, he took 456 shots (14.3 per game) in order to score 17.9 points per game. Those numbers are not horrible – until you juxtapose them with…

    In 32 games last year, he handed out 27 assists (0.8 per game) and he is a guard.

Finally, here is a comment from Mike Bianchi in the Orlando Sentinel:

“Did you see where ‘Iron Man 3’ made $175 million on its opening weekend and has already netted $700 million worldwide? This is believed to be the most money made by a stiff, robotic, heavy-legged humanoid since the Magic acquired Kelvin Cato.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………

May 24, 2013 – 9:24 am Categories: Daily Rants | Comments (4)

Sally Jenkins And I Think Alike – - Poor Sally…

I put a note on my clipboard yesterday afternoon to be sure to mention two golf items today:

    A. The impending ban on anchored putters – and –

    B. The Sergio Garcia/Tiger Woods feud.

When I retrieved my Washington Post this morning, I was not sure how it happened but Sally Jenkins’ column today deals with exactly those two topics. I am tempted to explain this happenstance by saying that “great minds run in similar channels” – but I doubt that Ms. Jenkins would appreciate being dragged down to my level. I could invoke the concept of a Vulcan mind-meld – but Leonard Nimoy has not been seen in the DC area in the past couple of days, so… Let me say without reservation that Sally Jenkins’ column deserves to be read in its entirety.

I would only want to pose one additional question with regard to each of these topics:

    A. Why is an anchored putter something that jeopardizes the history and traditions of golf but carbon-composite shafts and driver heads twice the size of a Big Mac do not?

    B. Has the Sergio Garcia/Tiger Woods feud yet reached the level of vitriol exhibited in the movie Mean Girls or does that silliness await the next chapter?

Brian Urlacher announced his retirement yesterday. On Pardon the Interruption, Tony Kornheiser said he does not believe that decision will stick and that Urlacher will sign on with a team sometime later this summer. [He speculated that it would be with the Patriots.] Urlacher said yesterday that he thinks he can still play but not with the passion and the level of performance that he used to bring to the field; his play last year would seem to confirm the diminished level of performance part of that self-analysis. Fundamentally, I hope Kornheiser is wrong on this one; Brian Urlacher has been a great player for a lot of years and I really would not like to see him “floundering” on the field as his final games unfold. Bonne chance, Brian Urlacher…

There will be a change of venue for the Military Bowl this year. In case you cannot keep all the bowl games straight, the Military Bowl is the one played here in Washington DC between Christmas and New Year’s Day; it generates a small amount of fanfare prior to the game; but fundamentally, they could not fill the stadium even if they stapled $100 bills to the tickets and gave them away on street corners. The venue for the game had been RFK Stadium for all of its glorious history – going all the way back to 2008. This year, the game will take place in Annapolis at Navy Marine Corps Memorial Stadium on the campus of the US Naval Academy. The combatants in this game will be:

    1. A team from C-USA not yet specified but not the conference champion

    2. The 8th place team in the ACC

As ACC teams finish out the season, is it possible that one of them might tank a late game and finish ninth in the conference just to avoid having to participate in this silliness on 27 December?

RFK Stadium seats about 55,000 folks for a football game. Navy Marine Corps Memorial Stadium seats 34,000. If you wonder why the organizers might agree to play in a smaller venue thereby lowering the ceiling on potential ticket revenue, I will set an Over/Under line on the actual attendance at the game at 16,000 souls – and that assumes decent weather.

Bob Molinaro had this interesting look-ahead to the college football season next Fall in the Hampton Roads Virginian-Pilot recently:

“On paper: The SEC schedule-maker has improved the odds of Alabama three-peating as national football champion. For the second year in a row, the Tide doesn’t have Florida, Georgia or South Carolina on the schedule.”

That fact is sure to fuel a bunch of conspiracy theories in various college football hotbeds around the country, as the season gets underway. Bob Molinaro had another item related to college football that has little to do with possible conspiracy theories but does present college football – and indeed collegiate athletics in the revenue sports – in a smarmy light. Consider:

“Kid’s stuff: Texas is the latest football power to offer a scholarship to 6-foot-1, 217-pound Louisiana prospect Dylan Moses, who also has offers from LSU, Alabama and Florida. Why is this worth noting? Because Moses, projected as a running back or linebacker, is an eighth-grader.”

In the NBA, the Dwight Howard soap opera has begun. People wonder where he will play next year; sportscasters track his every move to see where he goes and to whom he speaks; his Tweets are parsed as if they were verses in the Book of Revelation; “insiders” offer opinion based on “facts” that we the public are not allowed to know about where he will go next year. And, Dwight Howard seems to revel in this spotlight.

    Memo to Dwight Howard: You run the risk of over-exposure here and turning yourself from a “person of interest” to a “person of tedium”. If you continue to behave in what some might call a “narcissistic way”, you might not like how that ends up. See Owens, Terrell as an example…

Jay Leno had this to say about Dwight Howard’s personal life and his inability to hit free throws:

“Dwight Howard, who reportedly has had four children by four different mothers, is expecting a fifth child with a fifth woman. Apparently, his aim in the bedroom is better than it is at the foul line”

Finally, here is a comment from Brad Dickson in the Omaha World Herald:

“Dwyane Wade donned a floral number by Versace for a Miami Heat postgame press conference. You know a guy is secure in his masculinity when he chooses the same outfit that Charlize Theron wore to the Oscars.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………

May 23, 2013 – 9:51 am Categories: Daily Rants | Comments (6)

For The Bride And Groom…

You have probably read stories about how Redskins’ fans bought up all the items that Robert Griffin III and his fiancée had on their wedding registry list at Bed Bath and Beyond and sent those gifts to him. Some folks spring-loaded to be pissed off at just about anything have stirred up a minor kerfuffle over the fact that a guy making millions of dollars should not take gifts from people who make so much less than he does. What nonsense… Gifts are given by folks who choose to give them. Absent coercion, if you have a problem with the act of gift giving, you are at best a pusillanimous prig.

When I read about this, I pictured a UPS truck backing into RG III’s driveway with a driver spending a half hour shuttling boxes from the truck to the front door. It would be like Christmas morning in May as RG III and his fiancée opened all those boxes to find out that their wedding registry had already been satisfied. How nice. And then, I looked at that situation through the other end of the telescope…

Imagine if a box showed up at the home of JaMarcus Russell and the shipping label said that it came from “Lifelong Raiders Fan”. Here is the question:

    Should JaMarcus call the Hazmat Squad or the Bomb Disposal Unit?

Speaking obliquely of the Raiders, I noticed that they signed free-agent punter, Chris Kluwe – late of the Minnesota Vikings. The Raiders lost Shane Lechler to free agency about a month ago; they need a punter to replace him; and for Kluwe, that is going to be a problem. Replacing Shane Lechler is not going to be an easy task.

Allow me an interlude here… Far too many folks in the sports radio business – and even some writers – use the terms “Pro Bowl player” and “All Pro” as synonyms. They are not synonyms; in fact, sometimes they are not even close.

    A “Pro Bowl player” is one who is invited to play in the Pro Bowl. That means two squads of 46 players – or 92 individuals – at a minimum will have that label. Actually, there are always more than 92 players in any given year because lots of folks invited to play in the game opt not to for a variety of reasons so someone else gets tapped and both of those players carry the “Pro Bowl ” label.

    In any year, there are exactly 24 “All Pro” players. There is one at each position on the field; that player is regarded as the best in the league at his position for that year.

With that distinction in mind, consider this thumbnail sketch of the career of Shane Lechler:

    Having entered the NFL in 2000, he just finished his 13th season.

    Shane Lechler has been the All Pro punter 9 times in 13 seasons.

Sticking with pro football for a moment, the Chicago Sun-Times ran a transcript of a Q&A session with Mike Ditka. I think the most interesting part of that session was the part that had nothing to do with how the Bears might do in 2013 or about pro football in general; the reporter asked Mike Ditka if people would ever see Mike Ditka on Twitter. Here is what Iron Mike had to say about that:

“You will never see me [on Twitter]. Somebody else might do some things, but not me. I text, though. I got to the point where I can text, I can call and do those things. So I’m getting pretty good. I really don’t want anyone to know what I’m doing. I really don’t think what I’m doing is that important. People don’t have to know what I’m doing. It’s no one’s business but mine.”

For the record, Mike Ditka is ahead of me. I am not on Twitter and I do not text. I have a phone; and if I want to contact you, I will place a call to you and we will discuss whatever it is that we need to communicate on. How twentieth century is that?

However, Mike Ditka and I are absolutely on the same page when it comes to the idea of constantly telling other people what we are doing. I never do that; I cannot imagine how boring anyone’s life might be that they would care about what I am doing. It is not a privacy issue with me; it is a fundamental inability to comprehend why anyone other than I would care to know.

Fort Lauderdale, Florida must be a focal point for swimming and diving competitions in the country. Anyone who had read these rants for a while knows that I do not follow swimming as a sport and that I do not consider diving even to be a sport since its winners are determined by judges and not by an objective set of measures. So how did I conclude that Fort Lauderdale was a focal point for these sports? Consider these two items from Greg Cote of the Miami Herald:

“A USA Grand Prix diving meet happened in Fort Lauderdale. Olympic divers, don’t take it personally, but you have our attention for two weeks once every four years, and barely then. Don’t push it.”

And…

“The International Swimming Hall of Fame in Fort Lauderdale is threatening to relocate unless the city upgrades its facilities. Lauderdale residents who regularly visit the Hall are upset. Both of them.”

Finally, after OJ Simpson appeared on TV last week testifying in a hearing where he seeks a new trial on the charges that sent him to a Nevada State Prison, Jimmy Kimmel had this to say about OJ:

“The most notable thing to come out of the trial is that O.J. has put on a lot of weight in prison. I think he found the real killers and ate them.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………

May 22, 2013 – 9:52 am Categories: Daily Rants | Comments (7)

Money Talks…

S I have said repeatedly that hosting the Olympic Games is almost assuredly going to be a losing proposition from an economic standpoint for the host city/country. The 2008 Games in Beijing reportedly cost $40B and the stadiums built to house Olympic events have not been booked solid with outside events in the intervening years. Cost reports for the London Olympics in 2012 range from $14.3B to something nudging up against $20B and there is no credible accounting to show that the Olympic Games drew that kind of additional revenue external to England last year. Nonetheless, the economic numbers for those events are about to look GREAT… [/Tony the Tiger].

According to a recent report on CBSSports.com, it appears as if the price tag for the 2014 Winter Olympic Games to be held in Sochi on the coast of the Black Sea will rise to $51B. That number is staggering for two reasons:

    1. There is no way the Games will draw $51B in revenue; they will be lucky to generate 15% of that number.

    2. By comparison to the Summer Games, the Winter Games should cost less to stage because there are fewer events and fewer venues needed.

According to the report at CBSSports.com:

“State-controlled companies and tycoons have underwritten more than half the cost. In some cases the tycoons are taking big losses to stay on President Vladimir Putin’s good side…”

Gazprom is the largest natural gas producing company in the world; it is spending $3B on a gas pipeline to deliver gas to Sochi in time for the games. It may be critically important to have plenty of energy on hand next February because the average high temperature in Sochi in February is 49 degrees and the average low is 38 degrees. Indeed, many events will occur in the mountains outside “metropolitan Sochi”, but the potential need for cooling on a massive scale has to be considered.

For perspective here, please consider the words of Dan Jenkins regarding the Winter Olympics:

“Part of the charm of the Winter Olympics is that ice skating and all the rest of those Olympic sports disappear for four years at a time.”

Juxtapose that nugget of truth with $51B and … Oh well!

If you find that news disturbing in the sense that you have the feeling that some smarmy folks are making a lot of money on the Sochi venture that has nothing to do with staging an international sporting event, there is some counter-balancing good news to report today. Diogenes might have found his completely honest man if he had lived long enough to be around today and to shine his lantern into the eyes of Jeremy Affeldt. Let me explain.

Yahoo!Sports reports that Affeldt (relief pitcher, San Francisco Giants) found that he was getting paid $500K more than he was supposed to be paid. The basis for the extra pay was a clerical error by the Giants’ front office staff. After discussions with both the MLBPA and the Giants, Affeldt learned that the contract was ironclad; it was the Giants’ error and they signed it; he was entitled to $500K more than what he and his agent had agreed to sign on for. Sit down for the next chapter…

Affeldt told the Giants he wanted to re-do the contract and to put it back to the salary level that both sides agreed to in previous negotiations. Here is the link to the story in case you just want to feel that there are some good folks still left out there.

Five years ago, I would have said that the following item could only have happened to the Cincinnati Bengals but the Bengals seem to have cleaned up their act significantly and it would be surprising to see something like this happen to the team. Today, I have to say that I am not shocked even a little bit that this happened to the NY Jets.

The Jets signed Mike Goodson (RB) to a free agent deal about 6 weeks ago; the contract is worth $7M over three years and indeed the Jets do need running backs. I did not read any reports – even in the NY tabloids – hinting that Goodson put the Jets over-the-top and made them serious contenders for the Super Bowl that will happen in their home stadium next February. Nevertheless, most folks saw this as a solid move by the Jets.

Then at about 3:00 AM, a truck driver spotted a vehicle stopped in the center lane of a highway in New Jersey and called “911”. When the gendarmes arrived, they found Goodson – not the driver of the vehicle – in such a condition that they transported him by ambulance to a nearby hospital. In the process of doing that, police found a “small amount of marijuana” on his person. The police found the driver to be intoxicated (allegedly of course at this time) and searched the vehicle wherein things got worse. They found:

    More marijuana (not shocking but certainly not good)

    A loaded .45 semi-automatic handgun (makes things worse) – and –

    Hollow point bullets (banned by the Geneva Convention in warfare)

I suspect that Mike Goodson will have a hearing with the NFL authorities in addition to a hearing in a judicial setting before all of this is resolved.

Finally, since I started today with news on the intersection of sports and economics, let me close with an item from Brad Rock in the Deseret News:

“Apparently the recession has even reached the University of Oregon.

“Despite receiving millions in support from Nike founder Phil Knight, the school is still finding ways to nickel and dime people. An Internet report last month said the cheer squad charged $5 to watch its tryouts.

“Rumored to be coming: a $7.50 fee to watch the marching band practice playing ‘Louie, Louie’ for next year’s halftime.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………

May 21, 2013 – 9:13 am Categories: Daily Rants | Comments (6)

RIP Dick Trickle

Former NASCAR driver, Dick Trickle, died last week from what is described as a “self-inflicted gunshot wound”. His passing removes one of the great names from the sports cosmos. Greg Cote had this note in the Miami Herald yesterday:

“Former NASCAR driver Dick Trickle died of an apparent suicide, effectively retiring one of the most fabulous names in the history of sports.”

Rest in peace, Dick Trickle…

Here are a few other “fabulous names” from the world of sports:

    I.M. Hipp (RB, Nebraska): I always wondered if he was the child of two orthopedic surgeons and had brothers named I.M. Shoulder and I.M. Knee.

    God Shamgodd (G, Providence): I would not want to have to guard him in a game on a Sunday.

    God’sgift Achiuwa (C, St John’s): Put him with God Shamgodd and that team is unbeatable on Sundays.

    Clyde Kluttz (C, Washington Senators):

    Ben Gay (RB, Cleveland Browns): Wonder if he ever had sore muscles…

    Dick Pound (Anti-doping Agency scold)

    Dick Shiner (QB, Atlanta Falcons)

    Johnny Dickshot (OF, Pittsburgh Pirates): If that name is not strange enough for you, his nickname was “Ugly”. Seriously…

    Coco Crisp (OF, Boston Red Sox): If he had a brother, you could name him Coco Puffs – or as my long-suffering wife suggested, Burnt2a Crisp.

    Longar Longar (F, Oklahoma): Is there an echo in here?

    World B. Free (G, 76ers): Who can argue with that?

    Metta World Peace (F, Lakers): Who can argue with that either?

    Wonderful Terrific Monds III (OF, Atlanta Braves minor league system): Amazingly, there were two folks of the same name prior to this dude…

    Scientific Mapp (G, Fla Atlantic)

    Majestic Mapp (G, UVa): Yes, he and Scientific Mapp are brothers…

    Exree Hipp (F, Maryland): His first name is pronounced “X-Ray”; I wonder if he ever went to med school…

    Ron Tugnutt (Pitts Penguins)

    Buzz Nutter (C, Baltimore Colts)

    Richie Incognito (OL, Miami Dolphins): Except of course when he is singled out for a holding penalty…

    “Oil Can” Boyd (P, Boston Red Sox)

    Picabo Street (Olympic skier): Hope she never has major surgery and has to go into an ICU…

    Wilmer “Vinegar Bend” Mizell (P, St. Louis Cardinals): After baseball he went to the Congress and served 3 terms in the House of Representatives.

Whenever the NY Knicks are eliminated from the playoffs prior to the NBA Finals – or even more horrific, when they do not make the playoffs in the first place – the “100-decibel question” posed by the NYC tabloids always comes down to, “What is wrong with the Knicks?” In the context of the 2013 playoffs, allow me to explain the absence of the Knicks from the next round in far more muted terms:

    The Knicks lost to a better basketball team.

The Knicks had the best player in the series; the Knicks had a half-dozen players who are better known than anyone on the Pacers; the Knicks had the TV networks pulling for them to advance for higher ratings. The problem is that basketball is a team sport and the Indiana Pacers are a better basketball team than the New York Knicks. I realize that analysis is not going to generate any adrenaline-driven argumentation, but I really think that is the bottom line.

Greg Cote had this item in yesterday’s Miami Herald:

“Steelers-turned-Bengals linebacker James Harrison reveals he spends about $500,000 a year on relaxing massages. Based on his league fines and famous temper, I’d say they aren’t working.”

I would like to do a bit of math regarding that comment. That comes down to Harrison spending $1369.86 per day every day of the year. In this neck of the woods, a top-of-the-line massage would run $150 per hour. At that rate, Harrison would be on a massage table for 9 hours a day 365 days a year. OK…

Finally, since I have invoked Greg Cote twice already, I feel I should hit the trifecta and close with another of his comments:

“Vijay Singh is suing the PGA Tour for investigating him for using deer antler spray. Case got stranger. A class-action of deer are now suing Singh for being linked to a golfer who never wins anymore.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………

May 20, 2013 – 11:26 am Categories: Daily Rants | Comments (13)

A New Sport On The Radar…

There is a new sport out there attempting to compete for our attention. It is called FootGolf because it is a hybrid sport between soccer and golf. The object is to kick a soccer ball on a course and into a hole in the fewest number of kicks. The first shot for a hole comes from a designated area – analogous to a golf tee area – and the player has to navigate the ball around trees, hills, streams and the like to reach the equivalent of the greens. FootGolf has an international footprint; there are a dozen countries with FootGolf associations.

In the US, FootGolf is played on some golf courses where the holes are in the rough and away from the golf greens; obviously, its proponents think that FootGolf is the next big thing.

Before getting overly excited about the emergence of FootGolf as a major player in the US sporting cosmos, consider this comment from Brad Dickson of the Omaha World Herald:

“A new hybrid sport called FootGolf combines soccer and golf. The basic goal is to combine the elements of soccer with the elements of golf to create a TV viewing experience that functions as a cure for insomnia.”

I read a report that Donovan McNabb wants to retire as a Philadelphia Eagle and hopes to sign a one-day ceremonial contract with the team. While McNabb had a fruitful and productive career in Philly, I think it is fair to say that his tenure with the Eagles was not one focused solely on happy times. Let me review the bidding here:

    A host on the local sports radio station, Angelo Cataldi, wanted the Eagles to draft Ricky Williams. He “organized” a delegation of fans to go to NYC for the NFL Draft with the specific intention of booing any selection other than Ricky Williams.

    The then-Mayor of Philadelphia and future Governor of Pennsylvania, Ed Rendell, was on board with this and lent his support to that kind of welcome to the city.

    Rush Limbaugh’s mercifully brief tenure on FOX Sports came to an end when he opined that the only reason McNabb was seen as a top-shelf QB was because he was Black. Since the mainstream media desperately wanted a great Black QB, they over-valued everything McNabb did.

    Of course, there were those tranquil and idyllic times with Terrell Owens as a teammate…

    A local NAACP official in Philly said that the reason McNabb did not run with the ball as much as the official thought he should was because McNabb did not want to be stereotyped as a “Black QB” and so he made himself into a pocket passer to play more like a “White QB”.

Given that brief summary of his time with the Eagles, I have to wonder why he would want to revisit them. There is at least a 50/50 chance that some fans will boo him at the podium as he announces his retirement – if the Eagles allow any fans to be within shouting distance. However, if that is what he wants to do to put a punctuation mark on his NFL career …

Speaking of Donovan McNabb reminds me of Eagles’ QBs and that brings me to Michael Vick who seems to be the guy who will keep the job as the starting QB in Philly despite the change in coaches and offensive systems. For those fans in Philly who continue to harbor some kind of animus toward McNabb – the ones that would boo him at his retirement ceremony if allowed in the audience – they might want to keep this tidbit in mind:

    The last time Michael Vick was on a team that won a playoff game was in 2004.

Moving on … A few years ago, Brett Favre became a hugely annoying figure when he played Hamlet and dragged out any decision as to his retirement from the NFL vis ã vis a comeback. Fortunately, we have had none of that for a while – but I am beginning to pick up0 vibrations from a “Brett Favre wannabe” out there with two characteristics whose purpose is only to keep his name in the news:

    1. He is sort-of retired and in his happy place, BUT

    2. He might really want to come back.

I am talking about Phil Jackson.

    Memo to Phil Jackson: Make a decision dammit. More importantly, make the decision privately and then act on your decision. We can deal with either status without any news leaks or intrigues. You are on the verge of becoming a pain-in-the-ass.

After the Toronto Maple Leafs blew a 4-1 lead in the third period against the Boston Bruins in the Stanley Cup playoffs forcing overtime where the Bruins won the game, the Toronto Sun had this great headline:

    “The choke’s on us.”

Finally, here is an item from Brad Rock in the Deseret News:

“A few hundred Jacksonville Jaguars fans have petitioned President Barack Obama to ask the team to sign Tim Tebow.

“… if that works, the next step will be to get the President, by executive order, to force Tebow to throw spirals.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………

May 17, 2013 – 9:44 am Categories: Daily Rants | Comments (10)

Carlos Zambrano Update

As noted in a comment on yesterday’s rant, Carlos Zambrano will not be playing for the Long Island ducks in the Atlantic League; he signed a minor league contract with the Phillies yesterday and will be in “extended spring training” for “evaluation”. Zambrano is 32 years old; he has a career record of 132-91; he has been to the All-Star game several times. The Phillies have lost Roy Halladay from their rotation for the season due to shoulder surgery and another of their projected starters, John Lannan, has been on the shelf for most of the season with a knee injury. Looking strictly at the numbers, you would say this was a smart signing…

Then, there is the dark side… Zambrano is mercurial to put it as politely as I can. He has a history of lashing out at teammates, opponents and umpires. His final game with the Cubbies back in 2011 saw him give up 5 HRs, then throw at Chipper Jones and suffer an ejection. He went to the clubhouse, cleaned out his locker, told the clubhouse guy he was retiring and left the stadium before the game was over.

Here is a bright side to this signing. As a pitcher, he is a well-above-average hitter. He sports a career batting average of .238 with 24 homeruns and 71 RBIs. He might just give the Phils another bat on the bench…

According to reports, the minor league contract he signed has an opt-out clause in it whereby the Phillies have to put him on the major league roster by 1 July or Zambrano can demand a release and become a free agent once again. He did pitch in the World Baseball Classic in March so he is coming to “extended spring training” in somewhat better condition than as if he had been sitting on his keister all winter. Having said all of that, the pivotal issue here is the condition of Zambrano’s brain and the degree to which it has a measure of control over his emotions.

I also mentioned yesterday the story that 78,000 people had “signed up” to take a one-way trip to Mars. That got me to thinking… As currently envisioned, the voyage to Mars would take 4 people on the journey so – in a perverse way of looking at it – this represents a way to rid Planet Earth of 4 souls. At the same time, there are four faces carved into Mount Rushmore. You see where this is headed, no doubt… Here is the question:

    Who is on your Mount Rushmore of folks to send to Mars in the ultimate “addition by subtraction” activity for Planet Earth?

Since I made up the game, I get to make up the rules too. I am going to eschew any and all political figures here and limit the possibilities to celebs and sports folks. I have two reasons for imposing that stipulation:

    1. I do not want to get into a rock-throwing political argument here because as a dedicated centrist I would be the target of rocks from all directions.

    2. If I allowed the 535 members of the US Congress to be eligible for this game, I would need at least a year to cut the list all the way down to 50 – and I am not sure I have enough years left exchanging oxygen in the biosphere to whittle it down to 4.

My guiding principle here would be to have a crew of 4 on the vessel such that the world would be a better place for their departure in that I would never need to hear from or about them again. I do not intend to use this as “retribution”; I have a friend who is a Phillies’ fan and who has never forgiven Mitch Williams for giving up the homerun to Joe Carter in the 1993 World Series; he might want Mitch Williams on the trip to Mars; I will not use my list for that purpose.

My ten nominees are – in alphabetical order:

    Lance Armstrong – Let him off the ship first so that the first man to set foot on another solar system body would also be named “Armstrong”

    Celine Dion – If you have to ask, I could never explain why.

    Mark Emmert – He is the head of the NCAA; that is plenty of justification.

    Nancy Grace – The sound of her voice feels like someone is running a cheese grater up and down my spinal cord.

    Terrell Owens – I never need to hear from or about him again.

    Alex Rodriguez – Enough already.

    Jacques Rogge – He is the head of the IOC; see “Mark Emmert” above.

    David Stern – I would never lament the absence of the Viscount of Verisimilitude.

    Joe Theismann – I would never have to fear hearing him announce a football game again.

    Donald Trump – Think of the great real estate development opportunities for him on a virgin planet…

Note the absence here of names like José Canseco and Dennis Rodman. The reason I would not put them on the one-way journey is that there remains some humor value in the outrageous things these folks say. I just looked at my ten nominees and none of them provides me with any chuckles – ever.

Now, I invite readers to add and subtract from the list and then we can put a bunch of folks into “astronaut training” and ultimately come up with “The Crew to Mars”.

Finally, here is a note from Greg Cote in the Miami Herald about someone who came close to getting on my list of ten nominees above:

“Kobe Bryant and his mother are feuding in court over her right to sell his memorabilia. Not sure who’s less likable here. Someone who seems to be doing a rotten thing, or Kobe on general principle.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………

May 16, 2013 – 10:11 am Categories: Daily Rants | Comments (14)

Tip Of The Hat To Tony Kornheiser

For those of you who did not read the Washington Post from about 1980 until 2005, you probably only know Tony Kornheiser as the host of Pardon the Interruption or as one-third of the MNF announcing team for a couple of years. In addition to those credits, Tony Kornheiser was an accomplished columnist at the Post; and if he was still writing sports columns today, he would be on the list on the left side of this website under the heading “Columnists I Read”. I mention this because in his sports columns, he frequently referred to the Washington Capitals as “choking dogs” due to their tendency to get nice leads in Stanley Cup playoff series only to lose that lead and the series.

Were he still writing, the Caps would be “choking dogs” again this year. They led the Rangers 2-0 in the playoffs and then they led 3-2. The series went to a Game 7 and in typical “choking dog” fashion; the Caps lost Game 7 by the blowout score of 5-0. That win by the Rangers was the first time in franchise history that the Rangers had won a Game 7 on the road – and recall that the Rangers have been around since 1926. Let me put that game in perspective for you:

    A. Losing any hockey game 5-0 is bad.

    B. Losing a hockey game 5-0 on your home ice is shameful.

    C. Losing a hockey game 5-0 on your home ice in the 7th game of a Stanley Cup playoff series ought to be sufficiently embarrassing so as to send everyone in the organization into hiding for at least 6 weeks.

    D. The first question someone should have asked the Caps at the obligatory news conference after that game is, “Who let the dogs out?”

The Washington front-running fans behaved in their typical fashion. They left the building early in the third period when the Rangers scored their third goal. It is fashionable for Caps fans to wear the red Capitals jerseys to home games and the marketing slogan is:

    “Rock the Red”

If truth in advertising principles were to apply here, that would need modification to:

    “Rock the Red – - So Long As We Are Ahead”

Alex Ovechkin disappeared in the series scoring all of 1 goal in 7 games. Here is how Charles P. Pierce described Ovechkin’s performance in Game 7 at Grantland.com:

“Alex Ovechkin, for example, skated all over the ice, hitting everything except the net. (Ovechkin finished the series with one goal, but he was credited with 13 hits Monday night, and 13 hits is great if you happen to be the Supremes, but not so hot if you’re one of the most gifted offensive hockey players on the planet.)”

In other hockey news, Iron Mike Keenan has another coaching gig – this time in Russia in the Kontinental Hockey League. To say that Keenan can be abrasive at times is sort of like saying that Sally Struthers may have gone back to the buffet table for seconds once in a while. The announcement of his hiring prompted Mark Whicker of the Orange County Register to Tweet:

“Mike Keenan hired by Mettalurg Magnitogorosk of KHL. And they thought Putin was a tough guy.”

Switching gears, the Long Island Ducks of the Atlantic League are assembling an amazing roster for this season – providing they can find a way to turn the clock back to about 2005. According to a report in the Chicago Sun-Times, the Ducks recently signed Carlos Zambrano to pitch for them adding to previous signings that include Josh Barfield (no longer on the roster), Ben Broussard, Ramon Castro, Vladimir Guerrero (no longer on the roster), Ian Snell and Dontrelle Willis. The Ducks are in third place this morning in the Liberty Division of the Atlantic League (there are only 4 teams in the division) with a record of 8-16. Nonetheless, they stand only 2.5 games out of first place in that division because the Bridgeport Bluefish lead the division at 11-14.

In the Atlantic League, it would appear as if the “powerhouse team” is in the Freedom Division. The Sugar Land Skeeters lead that division with a current record of 22-3. The Skeeters have 6 players hitting .295 or higher as of this morning and 11 pitchers with an ERA less than 3.00 – including three relievers who have yet to give up a run this year.

The West Michigan Whitecaps play in the Midwest League as the A affiliate of the Detroit Tigers. The Whitecaps play their home games at Fifth Third Field where you can – if you dare – obtain a Fifth Third Burger. Here are the makings of the Fifth Third Burger:

    5 burger patties each at 1/3 of a pound each with a slice of cheese on it.
    Chili.
    Chips with nacho cheese, sour cream and salsa.
    Tomato and lettuce – and –
    A hamburger bun that weighs 1 pound.

This “snack” packs 4,890 calories. If you can finish it by yourself, you get a T-shirt and you get your picture hung in a “Hall of Fame” among other gourmands.

Finally, I sent an e-mail to Dwight Perry (Seattle Times) making sure that he had seen an item in Time Magazine reporting that 78,000 folks had “signed up” to be considered for a one-way trip to Mars. I suggested to him that I had a long list of folks that I would be happy to see on that trip – with the guarantee that it was indeed a one-way trip. Here is the response I got back from Dwight Perry:

“Actually, it’s 77,999. Dennis Rodman’s application is considered a return flight.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………

May 15, 2013 – 8:29 am Categories: Daily Rants | Comments (8)

Return Of The Dead Owls

A while back, I introduced the idea of “Dead Owls” as a way to describe things I do not give a hoot about. I think that I want to spend my time at the keyboard today laying out a few more “Dead Owls”…

I do not give a hoot about “three man teams” announcing sporting events. In the last 40+ years, there have been exactly two “three-man-booths” that were worth listening to for more than about five minutes. Chronologically, they were:

    Frank Gifford, Howard Cosell and “Dandy” Don Meredith: They made MNF – and by extension NFL – games entertaining and not merely sporting events that had a singular outcome.

    Dick Enberg, Billy Packer and Al McGuire: They are the “Gold Standard” by which all announcing teams for NCAA basketball should be measured.

    That’s it. That’s the list…

I do not give a hoot about which athlete or pop culture celebrity may or may not be humping some other athlete or pop culture celebrity. These folks are only “special” in the sense that they entertain us with their talents that are well beyond the norm for humankind in their specialty. What they do in their private lives – and with whom they do it – is of little interest.

    As a corollary, I also do not give a hoot about what any athlete or pop culture celebrity has to say about any political candidate for office or about any of the “hot-button” issues of the day such as gun control, health care, immigration or the debt ceiling. The fact that a person might be able to hit a baseball better than 99.999% of the human race or sing a song more melodiously than 99.999% of the human race does NOT mean that person has any important insight into socio-political issues that make them interesting to listen to.

    In fact, experience says that most of the folks of this ilk who demand to be heard on socio-political issues are shallow thinkers who add nothing of substance to the debate.

I do not give a hoot about any more identification of the Dallas Cowboys as “America’s Team”. Seriously, even if you live in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area, are they really?

I do not give a hoot about sports movie sequels. There are tons of bad sports movies out there; the ones that do succeed seem hell-bent to make sequels of themselves and the sequels are usually awful at the very best. Consider:

    Does the world really need Major League IV? What might that movie entail other than Jake Taylor playing on blades like Oscar Pistorious, Ricky Vaughn losing his glasses and putting a spectator sitting behind the third base dugout into the ICU with a ball to the head while Pedro Cerrano has to sacrifice larger and larger animals on a daily basis in order to avoid striking out 4 times a game? Are you really going to sit through that nonsense?

    If they ever make Rocky VIII, they will have to fashion a script wherein Rocky Balboa defends his title despite having to wear a colostomy bag throughout the contest.

Enough already!

I do not give a hoot about the myriad college football bowl games that pit mediocre teams against one another in truly meaningless games sometime prior to New Year’s Day.

I do not give a hoot about anything related to the NBA regular season prior to Valentine’s Day.

I do not give a hoot about shaving cream pies for baseball players in post-game interviews. That “tradition” lost its freshness at least 5 years ago. If baseball players do not have the mental acumen to come up with something new/different for such situations, then they should be ashamed of themselves.

I do not give a hoot about any pre-season rankings or polls related to college football or college basketball. Those things are beyond meaningless.

I do not give a hoot about draft listings and mock draft projections for the NFL made the week after the NFL Draft for a given year where 90% of the guys actually drafted this year have yet to sign on with the teams that hold their rights.

I do not give a hoot about anything that might be offered up to Sports Nation on ESPN for sports nation’s opinion. The issues are universally vapid; the voters are – in the main – mouth breathers; why is this even interesting? It is surely not important.

I do not give a hoot about television coverage of:

    America’s Cup races: These might be marginally interesting if “Moby Dick” were on the loose in the midst of the course and it was out to claim a boat for Davy Jones’ locker.

    Golf on TV where there is no time limit on players: Honestly, I could make a BLT sandwich in the time it takes some players to line up a single putt.

    The Tour de France: This event pits a bunch of guys in tights who have yet to be caught by the PED testers riding bicycles up and down hills on roads in a place that few folks have ever seen in person.

I do not give a hoot about your fantasy team – or anyone else’s fantasy team – in any league in any sport. If I happen to care in a specific circumstance you can be sure that I will ask you about said fantasy team; otherwise, keep all information related to your team, your league and your standings in your league to yourself. I know that I have mentioned this one before, but so many people seem not to be aware of the depths of my disinterest in this area that I thought it needed repetition.

Finally, here is a bit of perspective from Greg Cote of the Miami Herald:

“The Masters field included 14-year-old amateur Tianiang Guan, the youngest player ever in golf’s biggest event. My greatest accomplishment at 14 was being adept at faking nausea so I could skip school.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………

May 14, 2013 – 12:09 am Categories: Topical Rants | Comments (8)

Random Thoughts…

For those of you who believe that bad things happen in threes, here is corroborating “evidence”. A week ago, Titus Young found himself under arrest in California twice on the same day on two different charges. On Friday, Titus Young was in the hoosegow for the third time in a week. Here is the summary of the charges:

    First arrest: DUI

    Second arrest: Burglary for trying to steal the car he was driving at the time of the DUI from the impound lot where it had been taken.

    Third arrest: Burglary for breaking into a house in San Clemente CA and then adding resisting arrest and assault of a police officer to his tab when he fought with deputies in the process of his arrest.

That does not sound like an NFL WR who is a free agent and looking for a new job. That sounds more like a guy who wanted to catch the attention of Jerry Tarkanian for a slot on one of Tark’s squads not overly burdened with scholar-athletes.

According to a report in the Las Vegas Review Journal by Matt Youmanns, there are now lines for every NFL game for the 2013 regular season courtesy of Cantor Gaming in Las Vegas. If you just cannot wait to get down on an NFL game, you now have 256 options available to you. If you just cannot wait to get down on an NFL game, you also have the option of getting yourself to a rehab clinic near you… Here are three interesting observations in Youmanns’ report:

    1. The Pats are never an underdog; they are favored 12 times and are “pick ‘em” the other four games.

    2. The Broncos, Niners and Seahawks are favored in 13 of their games but each of them is an underdog one time.

    3. The Jaguars have 2 “pick ‘em” games and are underdogs in the other 14.

Sticking with the topic of sports wagering in Nevada, a bill passed in the Nevada State Senate recently that would allow sports books to take bets from “private equity groups”. At the moment, a sportsbook in Nevada may only accept wagers from individuals. Proponents say that this bill will attract some of the money wagered illegally in states other than Nevada to the sportsbooks in Nevada.

I presume that means that under the proposed new law, I and my friends who journey to Las Vegas every Fall could form a “private equity group” and engage a resident of Las Vegas to join our group as the person who would go to the sportsbooks and make wagers on behalf of our “Putative Private Equity Sports Wagering Cooperative Ltd”. If my interpretation is correct – and I am more than willing to be corrected here – it seems that there are a couple of logical conclusions:

    1. A new cottage industry could spring up in Nevada in terms of “private equity group representation”. Pretty soon, you might expect these Nevada legislators to claim that the bill is a “jobs creator”.

    2. The handle in the Nevada sportsbooks should grow. One report I read said the sportsbook handle could triple in five years if the bill became law. I do not know if the growth potential is that great, but surely, the sportsbooks’ handle will grow – and Nevada will collect more state tax revenue on that growth.

    3. If this bill became law, the potential for using this mechanism to launder money is not insignificant. Regulators and law enforcement folks will need to pay attention.

Receiving much less attention than this bill, the Nevada Senate also passed a measure that would permit sportsbooks to take wagers on Presidential and Congressional elections. While that might be a significant sociological change for the country, I just do not see that measure attracting a large handle for the books…

Here is an item tangentially related to gambling… Jerry Jones recently signed QB, Tony Romo, to a 6-year contract extension worth $108M and with more than $50M of that money guaranteed to Romo. When I first read about the deal, my reaction went along the lines that Jerry Jones like to do things in a big way and he has always been a believer in Romo’s talents, so in his mind, this deal probably makes sense. Later, I read this quote from Jerry Jones in the Dallas Morning News:

“If Tony, for instance, would be here Monday through Saturday … from seven in the morning to six o’clock at night all over this place then that’s better than the way it’s been. We’ll have more success, and Jason [Garrett] believes that [also].

Excuse me… Tony Romo has been with the Dallas Cowboys since 2003; he has been the starting QB for the Cowboys – interrupted only by injuries – since the middle of the 2006 season. Tony Romo should not be a “mystery” to anyone who had been associated with the Cowboys for any length of time – such as Jerry Jones. If you have noticed that Tony Romo has not done enough time-on-the-job to achieve as much success as you believe he has in him, then why would you agree to give him such a lucrative contract?

If you find yourself in Minneapolis/St. Paul and have the time to go and see the Twins play, you might find this culinary option at Target Field interesting:

    One of the wraps offered at some concession stands consists of a stuffing of spaghetti and meatballs.

Everyone who is on the Atkins Diet just shuddered after reading that sentence…

Finally, here is a comment from Greg Cote in the Miami Herald that harkens back to some of the gambling related items above:

“Parting thought: The Redskins’ nickname is under fire again. Am trying to think of a suitable replacement that would reflect the great heritage and legacy of the American Indian, but Washington Casino Operators seems a bit unwieldy.”

But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………

May 13, 2013 – 9:03 am Categories: Daily Rants | Comments (9)