Just how bad were last week’s Mythical Picks…?
I liked Pitts -3 over Ravens. Ravens won by 20. No!
I liked Detroit/Carolina OVER 43. Total was only 31. No!
I liked Buffalo +1.5 against Miami. Buffalo won straight up. Yes!
I liked Jax +6 against Washington. Jax lost by 31. No!
I liked Tennessee -3 over Dallas. Dallas won by 16. No!
I liked Arizona -2 over Giants. Arizona covered easily. Yes!
I liked NE/Minnesota OVER 48.5. Total was 37. No!
I liked NO/Cleveland OVER 47.5. The game went OVER. Yes!
I liked Cincy -5 over Atlanta. Cincy won by 14. Yes!
I liked St. Louis +6 against Tampa. St. Louis won outright. Yes!
I liked Seattle -5.5 over San Diego. San Diego won outright. No!
I liked Houston/Oakland UNDER 40. Total was 44. No!
I liked Green Bay -8 over Jets. Green Bay won by only 7. No!
I liked Denver -12 over KC. Denver won by only 7. No!
I liked SF -7 over Chicago. Chicago won outright. No!
I liked Indy -3 over Philly. Philly won outright. No!
So the record for Week 2 was an atrocious 5-11-0 and when that is combined with last week’s embarrassing results it brings the season total for Mythical Picks to 12-24-0. How badly does that record stink? Well, it smells like a sumo wrestler’s armpits about halfway through a marathon.
The Curmudgeon Central Coin Flip Games were 0-2 last week meaning “The Coin” now has a record of 1-4-0 after two weeks. Even random events have sucked wind here in Curmudgeon Central.
Obviously, anyone with the IQ of a zucchini would realize that placing any trust in these Mythical Picks as they might relate to a real bet on a real NFL game involving real money is the height of folly. In fact, anyone who thinks that way is so stupid that he would need to rely on his old dog to teach him new tricks.
I saw a game where ex-NY Giants OL, David Diehl, did color commentary with Thom Brennaman. Diehl was pretty good for a guy doing his first national color commentary gig. I think I could grow to like him on the airwaves.
Raiders’ owner, Mark Davis, told the San Jose Mercury-News that he thinks the NFL should adopt a suspension with pay policy for players arrested or accused of domestic violence. By his thinking, that would keep the league on the right side of the “due process” line and it would provide the league with some credibility in the court of public opinion. I like that kind of thinking; I would hope that Davis’ remarks would spur others – including the NFLPA, which has been silent to the point of stupidity on these issues – to come up with means to reduce the negative impact of such arrests/accusations/charges/etc. I do have one concern with the suggestion Mark Davis made:
Suspending a player – with pay or without pay – can have a significantly negative impact on a team. If you want to open the door to some folks who would like to score a betting coup, let them know that the league will suspend a key player form next Sunday’s game should he be arrested/accused of a domestic violence crime on Friday night. The “arranged false accusation” on late Friday night would allow for a betting coup on Sunday followed by exoneration of the player on the next Tuesday.
Please do not tell me that is impossible…
Last year, the Saints’ defense was very good. I thought they would continue to be good this year to the point where I thought the Saints might get home field advantage in the NFC playoffs. For the first two games of 2014, the Saints’ defense has stunk – and maybe I am being kind here. Last week, the Saints led the Browns by 2 points with less than 3 minutes on the clock and the Browns had the ball on their own 5 yardline. The Browns are not an offensive juggernaut; their best WR is suspended; they did not have a future HoF playing at QB; Jim Brown was not carrying the ball on running plays. Nonetheless, the Saints’ defense let the Browns march the field – converting a fourth-and-long in the process – to kick a short game-winning field goal on the final play of the game.
Considering that it was the Browns’ home opener and it was a beautiful day in Cleveland, it sure looked like there were a lot of empty seats in FirstEnergy Stadium last Sunday…
Connor Cook is the starting QB at Michigan State; I suspect that he is a rising star in the NFL Draft for next year based on last week’s NFL results. Three former Michigan State QBs won games last week and they were not all under center for powerhouse teams:
Drew Stanton led the Cards to a win over the Giants.
Brian Hoyer rallied the Browns to a win over the Saints.
Kirk Cousins entered the game early in the first quarter and led the Skins to a 41-10 win over the Jags.
Speaking of the Jags, they have been blown out twice in two weeks giving up 34 points to the Eagles and then 41 to the Skins. They have been particularly bad in the second halves of games giving up 57 points in the first two games after making their “halftime adjustments”. The Jags simply do not have the offensive firepower to deal with that kind of inept defense.
Do you think, perhaps, that Bill Belichick knows something about Matt Cassell’s tendencies or “tells”? The Pats defense intercepted 4 of Cassell’s passes last week in a rout of the Vikings.
Speaking of turning the ball over 4 times, consider the Oakland Raiders. They did that last week against the Texans and lost by 16 points. It was 27-0 after three periods so when the Raiders “closed the gap” it was definitely “garbage time”.
Here is a rhetorical question – yet one that the Steelers’ braintrust needs to answer:
Where the Hell is the Steelers’ offense?
Last week, they scored 6 points and only passed the ball for 217 yards. Yes, the Ravens are a good defensive team, but still…
Here is another rhetorical question for the Packers’ coaching staff:
Is Julius Peppers “pacing himself” and “saving something for late in the season” or is he done?
Yes, I know that the Packers roared back from a 21-3 deficit last week to win the game, but remember that came at the expense of a boneheaded Jets’ team.
How good – or how bad – are the Cowboys? In Week 1, they laid an egg; last week they dominated their opponent and did it with Demarco Murray running the ball for 176 yards and the defense giving up only 10 points. How did all of that happen?
Not only did the Saints lose last week to start the season at 0-2, but their NFC South rivals – the Falcons – went to Cincy and lost handily to the Bengals. I thought the Panthers might take a step back this year from a 12-4 record, but if the NFC South is as bad as it has looked in the first two weeks, the Panthers look like a lock to win the division and have a gaudy record for the year.
San Diego at Buffalo – 2 (44.5): This is one of two “frequent flyer miles games” this week. The Chargers will travel 25-hundred miles to see if the Bills are as good as their 2-0 record might suggest. Of course, the Chargers themselves are a huge question mark after losing badly to the Cardinals in Week 1 and then beating the Seahawks in Week 2. Which Chargers team will get off that airplane? I am not yet ready to welcome the Bills to the upper echelons of the NFL but I am leery of the Chargers in this kind of a game situation. I’ll take the Bills and lay the points here without much conviction.
Dallas at St. Louis “pick ‘em” (44.5): This game is The Stinker of the Week. The Cowboys’ defensive stats are going to look good again this week facing Austin Davis as the opposing QB. In the first two games of this season, the Rams have yet to throw a TD pass; in today’s version of the NFL, that is amazing. I think the Rams’ defense is good enough to prevent the Cowboys’ from striking quickly from long-distance in this game; I think the Cowboys’ defense will be able to make the Rams run the ball and “dink-and-dunk” their way down the field. Not a lot of points here so I’ll take the game to stay UNDER.
Washington at Philly – 7 (50.5): Chip Kelly’s offense is indeed fun to watch and it will be interesting to see if Jay Gruden’s offense continues to look more efficient/effective with Kirk Cousins at QB in place of RG3. Recall, that was clearly the case in the exhibition games. If DeSean Jackson’s shoulder lets him play, look for him to play with gusto; the break-up between Jackson and the Eagles was not pretty. Just a hunch but I like this game to go OVER and I like the Skins plus the points.
Houston – 2 at Giants (41): The Texans are 2-0 while the Giants are 0-2. The Texans have not been challenged this year (Skins and Raiders). The Giants have simply been outclassed. It is not often that you see a team that went 2-14 as a road favorite in Week 3 of the following season. Ryan Fitzpatrick comes into the game with better stats than Eli Manning; who would have taken that bet back in August? Until the Giants play a good football game, I cannot take them with only two points on the spread line. I like the Texans to win and cover.
Minnesota at New Orleans – 10 (49.5): The Saints finally get to play in their home dome where they are a much better team than they are on the road. The Vikes’ defense is not horrible, but this could be the game where the Saints’ show the world that they can still put 500+ yards of offense up when the conditions are right. Let me make this brief; I like the Saints to win and cover at home.
Tennessee at Cincy – 6.5 (43): One reason to watch this game is Bengals’ RB, Giovanni Bernard. He is not the biggest or the fastest RB in the league and he will not “break ankles” the way some others do, but he is fun to watch and very proficient. The Bengals have offensive injuries and the Bengals’ defense has the wherewithal to throttle the Titans’ offense. I like this game to stay UNDER.
Baltimore – 2 at Cleveland (41.5): The Browns have taken both games this year down to the final play. They lost on a game-ending field goal in Week 1 and won on a game-ending field goal in Week 2. Their offense is better than anticipated and their defense is not as good as anticipated. The Ravens have not been a good road team for the last couple of years and the Cleveland fans will be sure to vent themselves at the Ravens – who you may recall used to be the Cleveland Browns Version 1.0. Here is a classic Curmudgeon Central Coin Flip Game and the coin says to take the Browns plus the points.
Green Bay at Detroit – 3 (52.5): Here is a division game with two flawed teams. The Packers’ defense is suspect; the Lions lack anything that even resembles “poise”. The game features two good offenses and two suspect defenses. I see this as a “Points-a-palooza” so I’ll take the game to go OVER.
Indy – 6.5 at Jax (45): the Jags have given up 37.5 points per game so far this year; the Jags’ offense has not scored 38 points in 8 quarters. Indy arrives in Jax after a heartbreaking loss in their home opener on Monday night dropping their record to an unexpected 0-2. The Jags have to hope for the Colts to play as if it really was a short week and in some kind of blue funk or this game could get out of hand fast. As I pointed out above, the Jags’ defense in the second half has been awful while Indy is known for its second half offensive production. I like the Colts to win and cover here.
Oakland at New England – 14 (46): Here is another “frequent flyer miles game”. After throwing up on their shoes at home last week against the Texans, the Raiders go on a 3000-mile trip to play a much better team than the Texans. However, that is not the end of the Raiders’ as “road warriors” because their next game will be in London against the Dolphins. In two games the Raiders have given up 400+ yards rushing; the Pats are not a running team – normally; but they may be this week . I hate to lay double-digit points in the NFL and I also hate to take an inept team on the road against a good team. Ergo, another Curmudgeon Central Coin Flip Game where the coin says to take the game to go OVER.
SF – 3 at Arizona (42): The winner of this game will be the leader of the NFC West for the moment. If for no other reason, that makes this an important game. The Niners’ defense was awful in the second half against the Bears last week; if they play that way again, they might make Drew Stanton look like a Pro Bowl QB. The Niners offense will be without Vernon Davis this week. Make this a venue call; I’ll take the Cards plus the points.
Denver at Seattle – 4.5 (48.5): When you get the teams who met in last year’s Super Bowl to play a rematch the next year, that has to be the Game of the Week when it happens. There will be a ton of psychoanalysis done regarding various players and coaches in this game; I doubt much of it will be either “professional” or “relevant”. I think the major question for this game will be:
Have the Broncos shored up their defense sufficiently to handle the Seahawks’ offense?
My answer is that I think not. I’ll take the Seahawks at home to win and cover.
KC at Miami – 4 (42): Oh no; the Chiefs are without Jamal Charles. Oh no, the Dolphins are without Knowshon Moreno. Quick, who are the back-ups? Am I the only one who thinks that perhaps the Chiefs overpaid Alex Smith just prior to the opening of this season? In the first two games, he has been less than ordinary. Of course, I am not enamored with Ryan Tannehill under center for the Dolphins either. Here is yet another Curmudgeon Central Coin Flip game and the coin says to take the Chiefs plus the points. Why not?
(Sun Nite) Pittsburgh at Carolina – 3 (41.5): If the Steelers’ offense that stunk against the Ravens last week is the same offense this week, the Panthers might pitch a shut-out. While much attention has focused on that Steelers’ shortcoming, the Steelers’ defense is allowing 170 yards per game on the ground so far this year. Carolina can run the ball… I like the Panthers to win and cover here.
(Mon Nite) Chicago at Jets – 3 (45.5): This game deserves your time and attention not because these are top-shelf teams who might be opponents in the super bowl. This game deserves your time and attention to see:
Will “Good Jay Cutler” or “Bad Jay Cutler” show up Monday night?
Will “Good Geno Smith” or “Bad Geno Smith” show up Monday night?
Which Jets’ player or coach will pull the biggest boneheaded move of the night?
Can the Bears’ OL do any business at all against the Jets’ DL?
Can the Jets’ passing game do any business without Eric Decker?
Can the Bears’ defense stop the run?
This game deserves your time and attention because either team can find ways to self-destruct and you might not want to miss all that “creativity. I like the Bears plus the points here.
Here is a comment from Greg Cote of the Miami Herald pertaining to Peyton Manning’s fine in the exhibition season for taunting:
“Good-guy face of the NFL Peyton Manning was fined for taunting. That’s like a nun twerking.”
But don’t get me wrong, I love sports………