Speaking of events that draw marginal interest, the All-Star game drew the smallest ratings on TV since the games were switched to evenings. As the folks on Imus said this morning, "No one watched the All-Star game; even the all-stars didn't see the game."

Mark Messier has signed a contract to return to the NY Rangers and Paul Coffey has signed a contract to play for the Boston Bruins. But negotiations are stalled between the Detroit Red Wings and Gordie Howe. And the Canadians have decided not to re-sign Maurice "the Rocket" Richard now that "the Rocket" is in the celestial penalty box for - um - eternity.

One of the talking heads on FOX Sports reported that Jerry West will leave the job as GM and VP of Basketball Opeartions at the Lakers. What's the deal here? Did he think that he had a shot to date the owner's daughter too?

John McEnroe will play doubles in the Davis Cup matches against Spain in a few weeks since Agassi and Sampras will not be available. He might as well get Jimmy Connors to be his partner. Or maybe Vic Sexius and Tony Trabert are free for that weekend?

Back in February, it looked like the Arizona Cardinals were going to try to build their team around a punishing defense with a DL that featured Eric Swann and Andre Wadsworth and Simeon Rice. Not a bad way to start. But it was not meant to be. Swann was released earlier this week in a salary cap move and now Wadsworth has had complications from his surgery on his knee last year. It seems that the knee has swollen after some "routine rehab workouts" and the prognosis is that he will miss all of training camp and probably a few early season games.

Senator Jesse Helms has accused the Baltimore Orioles of violating a Federal Law that prevents job discrimination on the basis of citizenship status. He says that the Baltimore Orioles will not hire Cuban baseball players and that is part of a conspiratorial deal between Peter Angelos and Fidel Castro as a result of the Orioles' "home and home series" last year against the Cuban national team. Three comments:

1. Who cares?

2. In a battle between Jesse Helms and Peter Angelos you just have to root for both of them to lose.

3. Remember the answer to the age-old question, "Why does San Francisco have an AIDS epidemic and North Carolina have Jesse Helms as its Senator?
   

   ANSWER: San Fran had first pick!

Of course, there are some teams that probably don't draw any attendance because there is no way to market the team. In Batavia NY, there is a minor league team called the Batavia Muckdogs. How do you market that? You can't sell hot dogs and call them muckdogs and hope that anyone will buy them? What does your mascot look like - a dog with a rake to drag the crap out of a stall? If this team averages 300 people a game, the promotions director ought to demand a raise.

Another baseball note. Last year the Seattle Mariners were staring at the hind quarters of much of the American League West. So the trade away one of the best players in the game today. At the time, everyone assessed the trade and determined that the Mariners had gotten bupkus. So now they are now leading their division and have the second best record in the AL. How did that happen?

One of the local golf courses here in Washington just ran the "Wiffy Cox Tournament". If you are a golfer and your name is "Wiffy", wouldn't you get it legally changed to just about anything that isn't overtly scatological? And if it is a "golf nickname" wouldn't you put out a contract on whomever gave you that name?

But don't get me wrong, I love sports...