Sports Curmudgeon

According to a story in the Philadelphia Inquirer, the NHL and Comcast have reached a deal, whereby Comcast will air two NHL games a week on the Outdoor Life Network next year. Ignoring the fact that the NHL is not even remotely related to “outdoor life”, I wonder if this will attract any new fans to hockey since really highly rated programming on this network usually has a smaller audience than the Home Shopping Network when that network is offering biodegradable life rafts for sale.

I also read a piece about Kwame Brown and his move to LA. He sees this as a fresh start and expressed happiness to be somewhere other than Washington. [Aside: All Washington Wizards' fans are ecstatic that he is “somewhere other than Washington” so maybe they and Kwame can hold hands and sing Cumbayah at this point.] Brown thinks that his time in Washington was extremely stressful because after being taken with the overall #1 pick, Michael Jordan rode him like a rodeo bronco and Doug Collins was like Simon Legree as a coach. Whether or not this stress is what caused Kwame Brown to stink like four day old fish cannot be determined, but I hope that Kwame is now basking in the happy glow of Los Angeles because I don't think that's going to last. Michael Jordan may have been a taskmaster and a demanding teammate, but now Kwame gets play with Kobe Bryant who is not exactly laid back. Phil Jackson may not be a yeller and a screamer on the bench, but he likes to play mind games with the team to get them to perform. Kwame hasn't shown a lot of mental agility or adaptability so far and this could get very interesting. But he's happy for the moment and he should be happy for small victories…

Here's an example of the apple not falling far from the tree. Dwight Gooden's 19-year-old son, Dwight Jr., was arrested in Tampa and was held without bail for violating his probation. Right there you have an idea that “like father, like son” is going too apply to the story. Dwight Jr., had been convicted of possession of crack cocaine and misdemeanor domestic battery; that's what got him on probation. That seems to fit with the familial pattern. What got him arrested this time? He was out partying at a late-nite club and was found to be in possession of some marijuana and there was a handgun in his car. If the kid had a 95 mph fastball, I suspect that he had been cloned…

Stand by for a shocking factoid. Lance Armstrong gives motivational speeches around the country – and probably the world – and has a comfortable schedule for the next year or so averaging a little more than one speech a week. That's not surprising since his story and his accomplishments can be woven into the standard kind of “you can overcome any obstacle” kind of speech. Here's what I find shocking; Lance Armstrong's price for a motivational speech is $150K. Do the math here folks and you'll see that comes out to about $10M in the next year. Here's the motivational part that I don't think he'll include:

Work hard, get real lucky, and you too can make $10M per year flying around the world first class just to talk to groups of people. Wow! The Titans' first round pick, Adam “Pac Man” Jones, is not yet in camp and has had at least one run-in with the law over the summer. Now he has gotten into a verbal joust with two of the vets on the Titans. Keith Bullock says Jones needs to get his deal done and get into camp; Albert Haynesworth says that he will call Jones “Adam:” and not “Pac Man” until Jones earns the right to be “Pac Man” on the field. Jones takes offense and just played the infamous “disrespect card”. He is shocked that he is getting disrespected by his “teammates” [interesting since he is not signed with the Titans yet that he presumes to call these folks his “teammates”] and says that he will not forget this disrespect. Jones is surprised that his “teammates” have not been as loyal to him as he thinks they should have been. Here's a prediction. Jones will have to be a perennial All-Pro cornerback to be worth the tsouris that he will bring to any NFL team.

I've gotten lots of responses to my rantings about the NCAA and its ultra-PC stand on Native American names and mascots. One reader wrote in support of the idea of getting rid of offensive nicknames and suggested that the way for this to happen was for schools to emulate the policy of the University of Iowa, which he says will not schedule games against opponents who have Native American mascots. Sounds like a good plan – except for one annoying fact. The University of Iowa plays the University of Illinois in a whole bunch of sporting events every year; Illinois is the Fighting Illini and Illinois is on the NCAA's list of 18 schools with offensive mascots. But the idea that schools themselves can influence other schools is not nearly as odious as having the NCAA goofs try to mandate their version of “good taste” and “proper behavior” from on high.

I got another missive from a reader on this topic. He wondered how the NCAA would react to the nickname given to a soccer team in Holland. He says there is a team in Amsterdam called Ajax, which plays in a major division of soccer there. The fans of the team call themselves the “super-Joden” (super-Jews) and they wear Star of David tattoos and wave Israeli flags during matches. No, the team is not Jewish; the nickname comes from the location of the team's home field, which is in the Jewish neighborhood in Amsterdam. Imagine that kind of display at a college football game. Now imagine how many smelling salts you'd need to revive all the NCAA folks back at “The Center for Good Feelings” in Indianapolis. To be fair here, the Ajax team is trying to get its fans to stop with these displays because the team and some other folks find it over the top. But so far, the fans have not complied with the requests to root for the team in a different way.

Finally, here's a line from Norman Chad in his syndicated column, The Couch Slouch:

“I have this recurring nightmare in which poker telecasts start showing slow-motion replays of the flop.”

But don't get me wrong, I love sports...

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		Sports Curmudgeon: 8/10/05

		According to a story in the Philadelphia Inquirer, the NHL and Comcast have reached a deal, whereby Comcast will air two NHL games a week on the Outdoor Life Network next year. Ignoring the fact that the NHL is not even remotely related to “outdoor life”, I wonder if this will attract any new fans to hockey since really highly rated programming on this network usually has a smaller audience than the Home Shopping Network when that network is offering biodegradable life rafts for sale. I also read a piece about Kwame Brown and his move to LA. He sees this as a fresh start and expressed happiness to be somewhere other than Washington. [Aside: All Washington Wizards' fans are ecstatic that he is “somewhere other than Washington” so maybe they and Kwame can hold hands and sing Cumbayah at this point.] Brown thinks that his time in Washington was extremely stressful because after being taken with the overall #1 pick, Michael Jordan rode him like a rodeo bronco and Doug Collins was like Simon Legree as a coach. Whether or not this stress is what caused Kwame Brown to stink like four day old fish cannot be determined, but I hope that Kwame is now basking in the happy glow of Los Angeles because I don't think that's going to last. Michael Jordan may have been a taskmaster and a demanding teammate, but now Kwame gets play with Kobe Bryant who is not exactly laid back. Phil Jackson may not be a yeller and a screamer on the bench, but he likes to play mind games with the team to get them to perform. Kwame hasn't shown a lot of mental agility or adaptability so far and this could get very interesting. But he's happy for the moment and he should be happy for small victories… Here's an example of the apple not falling far from the tree. Dwight Gooden's 19-year-old son, Dwight Jr., was arrested in Tampa and was held without bail for violating his probation. Right there you have an idea that “like father, like son” is going too apply to the story. Dwight Jr., had been convicted of possession of crack cocaine and misdemeanor domestic battery; that's what got him on probation. That seems to fit with the familial pattern. What got him arrested this time? He was out partying at a late-nite club and was found to be in possession of some marijuana and there was a handgun in his car. If the kid had a 95 mph fastball, I suspect that he had been cloned… Stand by for a shocking factoid. Lance Armstrong gives motivational speeches around the country – and probably the world – and has a comfortable schedule for the next year or so averaging a little more than one speech a week. That's not surprising since his story and his accomplishments can be woven into the standard kind of “you can overcome any obstacle” kind of speech. Here's what I find shocking; Lance Armstrong's price for a motivational speech is $150K. Do the math here folks and you'll see that comes out to about $10M in the next year. Here's the motivational part that I don't think he'll include: Work hard, get real lucky, and you too can make $10M per year flying around the world first class just to talk to groups of people. Wow! The Titans' first round pick, Adam “Pac Man” Jones, is not yet in camp and has had at least one run-in with the law over the summer. Now he has gotten into a verbal joust with two of the vets on the Titans. Keith Bullock says Jones needs to get his deal done and get into camp; Albert Haynesworth says that he will call Jones “Adam:” and not “Pac Man” until Jones earns the right to be “Pac Man” on the field. Jones takes offense and just played the infamous “disrespect card”. He is shocked that he is getting disrespected by his “teammates” [interesting since he is not signed with the Titans yet that he presumes to call these folks his “teammates”] and says that he will not forget this disrespect. Jones is surprised that his “teammates” have not been as loyal to him as he thinks they should have been. Here's a prediction. Jones will have to be a perennial All-Pro cornerback to be worth the tsouris that he will bring to any NFL team. I've gotten lots of responses to my rantings about the NCAA and its ultra-PC stand on Native American names and mascots. One reader wrote in support of the idea of getting rid of offensive nicknames and suggested that the way for this to happen was for schools to emulate the policy of the University of Iowa, which he says will not schedule games against opponents who have Native American mascots. Sounds like a good plan – except for one annoying fact. The University of Iowa plays the University of Illinois in a whole bunch of sporting events every year; Illinois is the Fighting Illini and Illinois is on the NCAA's list of 18 schools with offensive mascots. But the idea that schools themselves can influence other schools is not nearly as odious as having the NCAA goofs try to mandate their version of “good taste” and “proper behavior” from on high. I got another missive from a reader on this topic. He wondered how the NCAA would react to the nickname given to a soccer team in Holland. He says there is a team in Amsterdam called Ajax, which plays in a major division of soccer there. The fans of the team call themselves the “super-Joden” (super-Jews) and they wear Star of David tattoos and wave Israeli flags during matches. No, the team is not Jewish; the nickname comes from the location of the team's home field, which is in the Jewish neighborhood in Amsterdam. Imagine that kind of display at a college football game. Now imagine how many smelling salts you'd need to revive all the NCAA folks back at “The Center for Good Feelings” in Indianapolis. To be fair here, the Ajax team is trying to get its fans to stop with these displays because the team and some other folks find it over the top. But so far, the fans have not complied with the requests to root for the team in a different way. Finally, here's a line from Norman Chad in his syndicated column, The Couch Slouch: “I have this recurring nightmare in which poker telecasts start showing slow-motion replays of the flop.” But don't get me wrong, I love sports... << Back to the August Archives = Home = Recent = Topical = Wagers = = Archives = Pros = Scores = Contact =