1. I'll take Ravens minus 13.5 vs. Chargers for $22. This line was 15.5 earlier in the week - assuming no input error on the USA Today website - and under two TDs it is worth a shot. Ravens' defense holds Chargers under 14 points. Ravens offense is not awesome.

2. I'll take Titans minus 13 vs. Bengals for $22. Titans are very good; Bengals stink. Titans' defense holds Bengals under 14 points. Titans offense is not awesome.

3. I'll take Broncos minus 9.5 vs. Seahawks for $33. Broncos score points; Seahawks' defense stinks.

One of the loyal readers here has retired and is living a soft and cushy life in Pismo Beach. While he had not yet found the need to commune daily with the Mother Ocean, he is comfortable with the surfing community and that is why I think he is developing a rare condition called "Sand for Brains". He keeps sending me notes wondering why I have no commentary on tennis or on Gustavo Kuerten. The reason is simple; tennis is yesterday's news. It used to be the "in sport" and then it went the way of the self-eating watermelon and disappeared. Gustavo competed in the championship tournament in tennis recently in Lisbon. I hope some day to visit Lisbon; it is supposed to be stunningly beautiful. But in the sporting world it is an eddy current in the backwater of a minor branch of a spillway. It is a half-step above Bamako.

But the tennis world does have one item brewing that deserves at least a mention here. John McEnroe may have quit as US Davis Cup Captain, but he has not severed all of his emotional ties to the Davis Cup. He wants to play doubles in the Davis Cup - at age 41. Now to complete the folly, all he has to do is to invite Venus Williams to be his partner…

And speaking of comebacks, Mario Lemieux is strapping on the skates again and will try to get into "hockey condition" and return to the Penguins. Let's assume he does that. Here are some potential conundrums:

As a player, he has to be in the Players Union; as an owner, he is the sworn mortal enemy of the Players Union. How does that work?

Who does he negotiate his salary with?

What salary does he pay himself? What will the Players Union say if he pays himself the minimum - given that he is already in the Hall of Fame?

Who cares?

A loyal reader who is a Yale alum noticed that the Yale crew members were suspended yesterday and wondered why that was not included in yesterday's commentary. The reason is that it was some unspecified violation of the student code and I could not imagine that it was some kind of NCAA inspired nonsense about "illegal benefits" for these athletes. But he did remind me of something when he wrote to ask about this. The violation of the student code could indeed be something interesting at Yale. As the former employer of A. Bartlett Giamatti just about anything could possibly be a violation of the student code. Horror of horrors; you don't think one of the students might have been - gasp - gambling.

New Mexico State - never to be confused with Yale or even Romper Room - imposed sanctions on its men's basketball program for NCAA violations that it discovered. It seems that a couple of players got "fraudulent academic credits" from a junior college whose basketball coach just happened to get hired by the New Mexico State basketball program. Hmmm…

After the Wizards' disastrous loss to the Clippers that I described yesterday, Michael Jordan "questioned his players' pride in a locker-room tirade." Afterwards, Jordan said his players' true colors would surface immediately and that we should wait to see how they bounce back from such a humiliating loss. Well, the jury is back. The Wizards went to Minnesota last night and lost 105-88 and the only time they were not behind was at 0-0 when the ref tossed the ball in the air.

Fans in Sacramento are sort of upset that Chris Webber has fired his agent. They see this as a prelude to Webber hiring one of the "tough guy" agents and using that guy to get him out of Sacramento to some bigger venue. Webber did say he was surprised/angry that he did not have any major endorsement contracts, Could happen. But it is not necessary that it does happen that way.

Given the last Collective Bargaining Agreement, the maximum amount of Webber's contract and the maximum amount of his yearly raises and the maximum duration of the contract are specified; he qualifies for a 7 year deal worth about $119M. He is good enough that he can demand the maximum and get it; only the Kings can pay him that because no one else is so far under the cap that they can squeeze him in. So why does he need to pay an agent? All he needs is a good lawyer to read the contract to be sure that there is not some clause in there that says that this whole contract and all its guaranteed money are null and void if he is convicted of speeding or drunk driving or possession of marijuana in small amounts. He will do all those things over the seven year term of the contract, so he has to be sure that he does not lose $119M over behavior like that.

By the way, Webber lost a shoe deal sometime in the past when he was pulled over for either speeding or driving in a way that would lead the police to assume he was not fully competent to be driving and a small amount of marijuana was found in a sneaker in his car.

Since I talked about tennis and rowing today, I guess I should give equal time to another minor US sport - soccer. In case you did not know, the players in Major League Soccer have filed a class-action lawsuit claiming that MLS is a monopoly which drives down the salaries they can earn. In testimony in that trial, it appears that MLS has lost $250M since 1995. Now I know that there are real losses and there are paper losses and there are losses for tax purposes and there are losses that actually turn out to be gains - like when you have tickets to a concert by Yoko Ono and she comes down with laryngitis. But can you imagine how stupid you would have to be to have some kind of monopolistic grip on a market and still lose $250M? Unless of course, there is no market…

In baseball, Tony Gwynn will return to the Padres. He will get a $2M contract with $1M deferred and he will earn incentive pay for each plate appearance. It starts at $1K per plate appearance for the first hundred and then $1.5K for the next hundred and then $5K for the third hundred and so on. If he plays all year, his incentive pay can exceed the base value of $2M. Good for him and the Padres; he should finish his playing career there.

David Cone and Andres Galaraga and Mark Grace have not been made the necessary qualifying offers so that they can go to salary arbitration. That makes them free agents. I don't know what they would demand for salary, but all three will probably be in spring training somewhere.

In one of the great spin doctoring statements of the week, Peter Asbestos announced that the Orioles will not raise ticket prices again this year - the prices hare the same as they were in 1998. That is fine; the team stunk and there were loads of games where you could walk up and get a ticket five minutes before the umpire said "Play Ball". But the spin happened when Peter Asbestos said that the loss of Mike Mussina made it unnecessary to raise ticket prices.

Memo to Diogenes: Don't bother stopping by Peter's office with your lantern.

The Eagles scooped up RB Chris Warren the day after he was cut by the Cowboys. Chalk that up as a "playoff move". The Eagles have needed running back help ever since Duce Staley got hurt and have gotten themselves to their current status without a quality back. Warren is not a "Hall of Famer", but he does upgrade the position for them and they do have an bye week next week and that gives Warren several weeks to learn the Eagles' system.

Finally, the University of Maryland announced another addition to their new football coaching staff. Somehow, I don't think this puts them "over the top" and makes them an immediate threat to FSU and Clemson at the top of the ACC. Their new special teams coach will be the guy who was the tight ends coach at Wake Forest for the past 8 years. Other than one specific reader who lives and works in the Greensboro NC area, I defy anyone to name even one tight end from Wake Forest in the last 8 years. And no fair going to the Wake Forest websites…

But don't get me wrong, I love sports...