The national baseball media has a subset of folks who are fundamentally seamheads and these folks have been in the process of furthering the Beatification of Billy Beane for quite a while now. The whole “Moneyball” concept has been exalted to a degree where one wonders if it will compete for a Nobel Prize in some category one of these years. So, I don't expect to see a whole lot of these media sycophants getting nasty with their hero over this minor little thing that just happened.

You see, Jermaine Dye was just named the MVP for the World Series. And Jermaine Dye used to play for the Oakland A's whose course through the baseball cosmos is charted by Blessed Billy Beane [hosanna, hosanna]. But Jermaine Dye was found wanting to the extent that Jermaine Dye was deemed to be expendable – or more intellectually framed, “not worth his cost” – by the A's and Messr. Beane. So, just how many World Series MVPs has he attracted to his roster during his tenure there? Oh, sorry, you have to be actually participating in the World Series – and probably win it too – in order to have a World Series MVP. And on that dimension Billy Beane has come up with precisely zero World Series teams. Sad, isn't it?

Sometimes, statistics tell a story that really gets down to the heart of a problem area for a team. Consider the Houston Texans – the winless Houston Texans to be complete in my description here. Sure, they got clocked by the undefeated Indy Colts last week as everyone who walks upright and knows not to pick his ears in public figured the would. But look at the stats and you'll see just how feckless the Houston team is. David Carr had 48 yards passing for the game; at the same time, he was sacked 5 times for 42 yards. That comes out to a net passing yardage for the entire game of 6 yards; there is a message in there and it isn't a good one! Oh, and the Texans fumbled the ball three times and lost it once – and that lost fumble was returned for a TD.

It is easy to want to try to find a single point of blame for this level of ineptitude, but I think that the blame has to be spread around. Surely, Charlie Casserly has to take some blame for assembling that offensive unit and Dom Capers will take enough blame to be out of work sometime before 15 January 2006. But the offensive linemen themselves need some measure of blame too because these guys are collecting – and presumably depositing – their paychecks. And given the protection David Carr has gotten this year and the holes that have been opened for the Texans' runners, these guys are clearly being over compensated.

Before we leave the Texans for the moment, consider three more stats:

1. Last week the Colts' defense held the Texans to a net offense of minus-4 yards for the entire second half of the game.

2. For the year, the Texans are scoring 12 points a game and giving up 30 points a game; they are losing an “average game” by three scores.

3. The “sack differential” for the Texans this year is minus-26 after 6 games.

Ouch!!

The 49ers are another pathetic rendition of an NFL team this year. It was announced this week that the 49ers have hired Lisa Lang as their new VP for Communications. I really hope they do not have her confused with Lana Lang or Lois Lane and think she might lure Superman to come and join the 49ers. It wouldn't matter; even Superman couldn't make that team competitive.

LaDanian Tomlinson did not score a touchdown last week against the Eagles so his streak of 18 consecutive games scoring a TD has been broken; he continues to share that record with Lenny Moore. Tomlinson carried the ball 17 times last week, was tackled for a loss 7 times, and had a net rushing total of 7 yards for the day. Make no mistake here, LaDanian Tomlinson is arguably the best running back in the NFL today and may be one of the ten best of all time. That makes the performance by the Eagles' defense last weekend all the more impressive.

Jim Armstrong pointed out in the Denver Post how the 2005 version of the Denver Broncos might be just a bit different from the old “John Elway Broncos” who always seemed to be coming from behind to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat in the final moments of games. In the first three quarters of their games this year, the Broncos have outscored their opponents by a cumulative 123-63 margin; that's impressive. However, in the fourth games, opponents are outscoring the Broncos by a cumulative 68-29 margin; that's most unimpressive.

Sheryl Swoopes has announced that she is a lesbian, that she has been living with this secret for about 7 years now, and that she is tired of having to pretend to be someone that she isn't. There has been some discussion of about whether or not this is a socially important thing and whether or not this might encourage other gay athletes to come out of the closet. Rather than speculate on that, I prefer to wait and see. The reason I don't care much about this is very simple. I do not care even a little bit about the sexual preferences of athletes or celebrities or politicians or…

What I do care about is when any person of any sexual preference forces his or her preferences onto other people. Human sexuality is a very personal thing, and I don't care if I know about the preferences and practices of others, because I have no interest in sharing my preferences and practices with others. I do not think any the more – or the less – of Sheryl Swoopes now that I have learned that she is a lesbian than I did two weeks ago when I knew nothing at all about her sex life. And I do not feel that her recent revelation has enriched my existence in the universe even a small bit. To Ms. Swoopes, let me offer the universally acceptable salutation:

Live long and prosper.

In a magazine interview, Ron Artest said that his season-long suspension for last year's “basketbrawl” in Detroit will not dampen his enthusiasm and his intensity on the court. He said he would “play out of control” this season. I can only conclude that he hasn't learned much of anything in the last year because he was playing out of control last year and that's what got him into the situation wherein he was suspended for the year. Or does Artest contemplate a call from the “Prize Committee” telling him that his fight with those fans in Detroit has won him the Nobel Peace Prize?

Finally, a comment from Scott Ostler in the San Francisco Chronicle about Bill Romanowski and his new book:

“A lesson for you kids out there: If you play a sport, pump steroids like crazy. That way, when your career is over and your reputation is in tatters, you'll have a lucrative book deal to fall back on.”

But don't get me wrong, I love sports...

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