In baseball news, The Red Sox are going to try to improve their pitching staff now that they have Manny Ramirez in the middle of the line-up. They started out that quest by signing Hideo Nomo. The Tigers let Nomo go because it would have cost them $6M to keep him. He was 8-12 last year with an ERA of 4.75 and so $6M a year sounds about what the going rate for pitchers of that ilk is.

Gregg Jeffries has retired. Too bad the Elias Sports Bureau does not keep track of a stat called "useless hits". A useless hit is a single in the bottom of the eighth inning with two out in a game where your team is losing 7-1. It would be rendered "doubly useless" if earlier in that same game with the score tied at 1-1, the same batter had hit into a double play with the bases loaded. If such a stat existed, I think that Gregg Jeffries would have numbers that would be hard to match!

Armando Benitez reportedly "slammed a door against his fiancée" after an argument that involved her allegedly spilling something on his shirt. According to a police report, Benitez has not been charged with anything at the moment, but the fiancée intends to obtain a restraining order against Benitez and that would lead to a charge of misdemeanor assault. I'm wondering how these two can continue to be in a relationship that involves the words "fiancée" and "restraining order". These words tend to go together about as well as mustard and milk.

Looking at the list of free agents who have not yet signed, I noticed that there are some pitchers who are still around years after their prime. A team could still go out and sign Jesse Orosco, Randy Myers, Doug Jones, Rick Aguilerra and Steve Onteveros. While that may no longer be the core of a pitching staff, it may be the core of a population to study some key issue in gerontology. And of course there are the "free agent lifers". These are the guys who are free agents at least once every two years and who always seem to latch on somewhere for no discernable reason. Still out there waiting to learn where they will be playing next year are Charlie Hayes, Benito Santiago, Harold Baines, and Luis Polonia.

In NBA action over the weekend, the Knicks lost to the Jazz by a score of 89-58. That is the lowest score by a Knicks' team since the introduction of the shot clock. The game had to be played in super-slow-motion by both teams since there were only 133 shots attempted in the game; normally the number is over 150 sometimes gets to 165. The Knicks were 1-12 on three point shots and turned the ball over 25 times. And this is a team with a winning record!!!

Elsewhere, the Hawks played the Bulls in Chicago. At the conclusion of that titanic struggle, the teams had a combined record of 9-37. For some reason, the people who do promotions in Chicago decided that a "mini-concert" at halftime would be a good idea. So, they booked the Baha Men and of course these "artistes" performed their hit song, Who Let The Dogs Out? First of all, that song has become tedious and should never be sung in public again. Second of all, who in the Chicago Bulls' braintrust thought that was a song that should be sung in any juxtaposition with these two teams?

And to cap off the weekend, the Gizzards traveled to LA to play the Clippers. At the end of that dance of the downtrodden, the combined records were 13-37. The reported attendance was over 12,000 in the Staples Center which seats about 19,000. As I glanced in on the game I wondered if the place was even half full. So there must have been some no-shows. Obviously, anyone buying tickets to see the Clippers has some kind of "problem" but being a no-show does offer mitigating evidence that maybe that person is not a total bonehead!

Los Angeles seems to have come to a conclusion on who will coach USC next hear. Pete Carroll has been hired. Carroll stunk out the joint with the Jets and was replaced by Richie Kotite. Does that tell you anything? He then took over the Patriots just after their Super Bowl loss to the Packers and was buoyed by having some extra picks because of the defection of Bill Parcells and the trade of Curtis Martin. He led that squad to "outsider looking in" status. So now he is going to resurrect the USC program? I don't think so.

And that means that "down the road" in San Diego, Mike Riley will be back next year with the Chargers. Team officials made that announcement over the weekend and with the Chargers at 1-14, they have already assured themselves of the top pick in the draft next spring. I'm not sure which of these California coaching jobs is more daunting.

In NFL action over the weekend, the Redskins eliminated themselves from the playoffs by losing to Pittsburgh 24-3. It was nowhere near that close. I have witnesses to the next statement. I was calling their plays from the 2nd quarter on - short pass to the left flat - and was right about 40 - 50% of the time. If I can do that, then you know the Pittsburgh defensive coordinator has to have had a good idea of what was coming.

Do you remember all the nonsense about how Terry Robiske was a no-nonsense guy who was going to get in the players faces and hold them accountable for poor play? On one play, Stephen Alexander caught a pass over the middle and broke at least one tackle and headed for the end-zone. A defender caught him from behind - not unexpected - and punched the ball out of Alexander's hand into the end zone where it went out of bounds and was a touchback for the Steelers. That TD would have put the Redskins within a TD. So as Alexander came to the bench, how was his accountability demonstrated? Robiske hugged him and kissed him.

By the end of the game Danny Boy had retreated out of camera range. He wants to be the focus of all things football until the team is eliminated and completely discredited and then he is "unavailable" for comment or for a photo op. Now that the human genome is mapped, maybe someone can get a sample of his DNA to see if there is a sequence in there that maps directly to "weasel".

Jeff George hurt his back after the offensive line blocking became an "optional activity" in the 4th quarter. Brad Johnson went into the game. Let me say here and now that action by Johnson shows me that he has much more class than I do. After the way he has been treated by Danny Boy, that would have been the perfect time for him to pull a hamstring on the first snap or to go in the huddle and ignore all play calling from the bench and call whatever the hell he wanted to run. He is not coming back here next year and he should have no sentimental ties to this team or this owner. But he went in and tried to play it straight. That is more than Danny Boy had a right to expect.

The Giants rallied to beat the Cowboys and can earn home field advantage throughout the playoffs by winning next week. Of course, the Giants are 7-1 on the road and so you wonder if that is a benefit for that team? In Dallas, Jerry Jones has taken up residence permanently on the sidelines and he attends meetings with players and he attends the game-planning sessions. So Danny Boy has a losing team on the field and he is trailing Jerry "The Cheshire Cat" Jones in ways to meddle with a team. Expect something to happen here; if I were the guy who changed light bulbs at the Redskins' training facility, I'd be worried about getting fired over all this.

The Cincinnati Bengals beat the Jaguars on a field that was in such bad shape that no high school game would have been played on it due to the potential for injury. The Bengals' braintrust opted not to put a tarp on the field during a torrential rain prior to the game and then the field froze. People were saying the decision was made to save money; if true, then the NFL should fine the Bengals 10 times whatever the tarp might have cost. That was an embarrassment. There were divots in that field big enough to hold a bass fishing tournament in them during warmer weather. By the way, the Jaguars were a .500 team going into the game and so the Bengals have a streak intact. The last time the Bengals beat a team that had a winning record on the day that the Bengals beat them was December 2, 1990. Yes, that is over 10 years ago; congratulations to all you math majors out there.

The Packers beat the Vikings yesterday. The Vikings' defense is just plain "not good". Ahman Green torched that defense for 160 yards and Brett Favre torched the defense for 275 yards. The Vikes corners do not cover very well and if a team can also run on the front seven, then the corners are going to give up yards and points in quantity. The Vikings' offense is very good, but they are not stopping people at this point.

The Colts kept their playoff hopes alive by beating the Dolphins. And they did it by running for over 100 yards against the Miami defense and by playing pass defense well enough to hold the Dolphins under 50% passing for the day and a total of only 132 yards. And when the Jets lost to the Lions, that put the Colts squarely back into the playoff race. The Jets lost by rushing for a total of only 51 yards against a Detroit defense that is politely described as "iffy".

Next week, Minnesota goes to Indy, the Jets go to Baltimore and Miami goes to New England. All of these games have playoff implications and/or seeding implications. The team with real pressure here is Miami. They are not in the playoffs yet and if they do not make it after the start they had, there will be screeching in Miami that will be difficult to block out. And New England in December is not exactly the game that the Dolphins would choose to play with the season on the line!

Terrell Owens set an NFL record yesterday by catching 20 passes for 283 yards. The 49ers rolled up 456 yards of offense and won their 6th game of the year over the Bears who put Cade McNown back out there this week. Cade has demonstrated the potential to be as juvenile and stupid as Ryan Leaf and yesterday, Cade showed he can do a good imitation of Ryan Leaf on the field too. McNown was 9-23 with an INT for a total of 65 yards. Believe it or not, McNown did not turn in the worst passing performance of the day! Trent Dilfer was 12-22 with an INT for a total of 37 yards against the Arizona Cardinals.

Look for the NFL to send a note to Al Davis telling him that they got a call wrong in the Seattle/Oakland game on Saturday. On a field that had standing water on it, a Raider dove on a fumble at the 2 yard line and hydroplaned into the end zone where the referees ruled it was a safety. I suspect that Paul Tagliabue will enjoy sending that note.

And once again, problems strike the athletic programs at the University of Minnesota. The University's general counsel is investigating about 20 students who have possibly stolen the code by which university employees make official long distance calls. In an announcement, the university said that the 20 students are "mostly football players". Can this athletic department get anything right?

But don't get me wrong, I love sports...