You would have to be a boxing aficionado of the highest order to have known much about Jeremy Bates prior to last week. On Friday, he became the victim of Evander Holyfield's comeback effort when the referee stopped the fight late in the second round. One report had Holyfield landing twenty consecutive punches right about then and Bates was still upright - if not actively defending himself. So Holyfield won his first fight since 2002 - his second fight in his last seven. At the end of the fight, Holyfield said he was pleased with his performance and thought he was ready to take on a top ten contender - - and therein is the danger.

As I said, Jeremy Bates is probably a very nice man. He sells insurance in West Virginia as his day job. I'm glad I read that somewhere because if I hadn't, I'd be thinking that he ran a motel somewhere in West Virginia with his mother… I also read that he once lost a bid to become the heavyweight champion of West Virginia. I have not bothered googling "heavyweight champion of West Virginia" for two reasons:

1. I'm afraid someone at Google might come across that search string and think that the Google search engine is aiding and abetting far too much time wasting on the Internet. I don't want to be responsible for shutting Google down.

2. I really don't care.

The point is that Evander Holyfield could not take Bates out with "twenty consecutive punches"; it took the referee's intervention to stop the fight. From there to a top ten fighter is a distance measured in astronomical units. But Holyfield will find some promoter and some boxing commission somewhere to enable him to continue on his path to becoming "the undisputed heavyweight champion of the world" - that's his goal - and they'll do it because they think he can make them some money. I'm hoping he doesn't get killed in the ring.

Going into last weekend's play, the Oakland A's were 15-1 against the Seattle Mariners and 53-51 against the rest of their schedule. The A's hold a slim lead in the AL West at the moment and if they make it to the playoffs, they really ought to send case of champagne to the Mariners' clubhouse. There are rumblings that Mike Hargrove might not be back in charge next season; the immediate focus of attention for a successor is Bobby Valentine who is managing up a storm in Japan. Remember, the Mariners have Japanese ownership…

I mentioned last week about José Canseco's less than sterling debut as a pitcher in the deep minor leagues. Jim Armstrong of the Denver Post also took note of that performance:

"Canseco, by the way, was lit up the other day in the Golden Baseball League. Not to worry. It's going to take time to develop his new hybrid pitch, the knuckleheadball."

In the aftermath of the Rangers/Angels brouhaha, MLB handed out a bunch of suspensions. Man, you want to talk about athletes with too much testosterone in their systems. Maybe Floyd Landis should try to claim that he had been hanging out with these guys too much and "caught" some of their excess testosterone in the process. Anyway, here's what T.J. Simers of the LA Times observed about the MLB suspensions:

"Kevin Gregg was suspended four games the other day for hitting one of the Rangers, and I was surprised the Angels didn't appeal and ask Major League Baseball to make it eight games."

Simers has had a running "feud" with former Dodger pitcher, Kevin Brown. Simers always refers to him as "Mr. Grumpy". Last week, Kevin Brown and his next-door neighbor got into a verbal confrontation involving the neighbor allegedly tossing some yard waste/lawn clippings onto Brown's property. Evidently, things escalated here and testosterone took over as Brown allegedly started waving a gun around. No shots were fired; no one was injured; the police arrived and put everything in order. I would have expected Simers to go on a riff about "Mr. Grumpy" here but he didn't. When folks sent him e-mails to be sure he was informed about the incident, he noted those communications and said:

"Given his accuracy, there was no danger."

I wonder how the Yankees' fans will remember the Sidney Ponson Era. Sir Sidney was "designated for assignment" by the team - Translation: told to take his act and his abilities to any venue other than the one in which the Yankees happen to be playing - after three starts and a couple of relief appearances. His ERA in his stint with the Yankees was 10.47; that's fantastic if that's the weight of a fish that someone catches in one of those bass fishing tournaments; as an ERA that's called "batting practice pitcher".

The Yankees had another unusual occurrence in a game last week. Sal Fasano was used as a pinch runner; Sal Fasano is only 8-5 to outrun the bronze castings in the Rodin Museum. A friend of mine used to describe slow athletes by saying, "He couldn't outrun a hippopotamus on a pogo stick." That might apply here…

I have a public service announcement here for readers in the Southern Hemisphere; get ready for tomorrow. August 22 in Southern Hemisphere Hoodie Hoo Day. (In the Northern Hemisphere, we celebrate this day on February 20.) At high noon, everyone needs to go outdoors, look up to the sky and shout "Hoodie Hoo". That will chase winter away and get things ready for the arrival of spring.

Finally, I often like to point out to you people whose names are appropriate to their calling in life - or sometimes highly inappropriate. Today, I will merely report that the Orlando Sentinel found a player on a high school team in Florida whose name will really make it difficult for him to achieve his "rightful status" in life. He's a running back named Yourhighness Morgan. But don't get me wrong, I love sports...

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