Sports Curmudgeon 1/10/01
 











  It's official; Norv Turner will be the offensive coordinator for the San Diego Chargers next year. He was offered the job of offensive coordinator in Pittsburgh and turned it down. It has been rumored that Dick Vermeil would hire him to do that job in KC when/if Vermeil is actually named coach of the Chiefs. He had been a leading candidate for the offensive coordinator job in Arizona and just yesterday Tony Dungy regained consciousness and fired Les Steckel as the offensive genius in Tampa. Norv had been rumored to be in line for that job when/if Dungy reestablished contact with Planet Earth. So what should we make of his selection of San Diego as his place of employment? Here are some possibilities:
  1. Mike Riley may not last out the season and he would be a natural to move up to the head job in San Diego.

  2. Have you ever been to San Diego? The weather there is even more benign than the weather in Pismo Beach where a loyal reader is vegging out for the rest of his days on Planet Earth.

  3. Michael Vick will be the new guy in town assuming that Vick is smart enough to choose San Diego over Blacksburg Virginia. Even Richie Kotite can make that choice three out of five times.

  4. San Diego is further away from Danny Boy Snyder than any other city in the NFL. There has to be some value in that.
Speaking of Michael Vick, there is an element of this saga that appeared today that makes me wonder. Supposedly, Va Tech coach, Frank Beamer, presented Vick with an insurance policy that was worth up to $10M in the event that he returned to school and was subsequently injured so he could not play pro football. This was done to offer a measure of security for Vick and his family. Sounds good and noble but… How can the NCAA allow this? Isn't this a case where the school - or some booster or some other organization - arranged for this benefit to accrue to Michael Vick because he is a football player? Surely, Va Tech does not do this for every student. How come an athlete like Loren Woods can be suspended for some kind of improper contact with someone when he was in the eighth grade, but Michael Vick can be offered an insurance policy as an inducement to play next season at Va Tech? Even the goofs at the NCAA have to realize that somebody somewhere has to pay for this policy and it isn't gonna be Michael Vick or his parents.

I wonder if there are any people who work for the Weather Channel who try to pull off betting coups? In ideal weather on a fast field, the Giants ought to be a five point dog to the Vikes. But the line opened at 1 and has moved to 1.5 - and even 2 in a couple of places - as the week has worn on. Now the broadcast forecast for Sunday on the Weather Channel calls for sunny weather and a temperature of 50 degrees. Now did those weather geeks who had foreknowledge of the forecast just settle for taking the Vikes and giving only one or did they take the one point in anticipation of getting three or four later in the week to fashion a betting middle? Why aren't there Congressional hearings on this kind of important stuff instead of the nonsense that is normally the topic of the day???

Matt Millen is the GM of the Lions and is the man in charge of football operations. Since 1957, the Lions have won exactly one playoff game. Millen will keep Gary Moeller on board but he dropped an interesting line when he said that he had already been in touch with Barry Sanders to let him know that if he wanted to play again, the Lions were ready to have him back and to "kiss and make up" - figuratively of course. If Matt turns the Lions around, could someone use this model and put Dennis Miller in charge of football operations somewhere? Probably not; Leon Hess is dead.

Tremain Mack is the Bengals' DB who has a history of "substance problems". Several years ago, he was suspended by the NFL for most of a season for violating the league's substance abuse policies. He has had a few drunken driving arrests and at least two convictions while he has been with the Bengals over the last couple of years. He was on probation for a year and had his license suspended but was caught driving a car anyway. He is now in jail for probation violation for at least a month and will then face the judge who fashioned this "rehabilitation course of action" for him last year.

    Memo to Cincy Bengals Execs: Draft another DB this year. It looks like this one's career is circling the drain.

    Memo to Washington Wizards Execs: This is the next chapter in the Rod Strickland saga. Ask your PR firm if this is a good "image maker" for the organization? I don't think so, but what do I know?

Speaking of Rod Strickland, Pete Vesczy had a great line about "Nod" Strickland, which is the name that Vesczy has hung on Strickland for several years. He said that "Nod" was out driving that night trying to define a new position, point guardrail. One of the local sports radio hosts has taken to calling Strickland "AWOL-Rod" as a play on the nickname "A-Rod". I may not have any credentials or experience in the PR business, but this just can't be the kind of publicity that I'd expect a client to ask their PR gurus to generate for them.

Last night, the Chicago Bulls scored 95 points. On the same night, the Wizards, Sonics and Magic all scored 95 points. The difference is that the Bulls needed triple overtime to get to the 95 point level while the other teams managed to get there in the standard 48 minutes of play. Oh yes, the Bulls lost the game in triple OT. And there were seven teams last night that scored more than 95 points in regulation time meaning that the Bulls would have lost to those teams even given 15 extra minutes to score.

Little Ricky Pitino has a side business in the coaching off season. He goes to corporate retreats and gives motivational speeches and he has written several books on personal success. One of these books - maybe his latest one? - is called, Success Is A Choice. No, I have not read it; no, I don't plan to read it. But I would offer one simple observation:

    When your choices are Chauncey Billups and Ron Mercer and Vitaly Potapenko and Jerome Moiso, you will NOT be a success in the NBA.
Bad news for the tennis world yesterday. It seems that Thomas Enqvist will have to miss the Australian Open which starts in a couple of weeks because he needs foot and shoulder surgeries. (I sure hope these are separate procedures because if not there are some really vital body parts that could get in the way of the incision from foot to shoulder!) Just when tennis was about to make a comeback in the consciousness of the sporting world , this happens. Such a charismatic figure missing from the tour for the time it takes to recover. How will they ever regain their TV ratings???

Women tennis players are preparing for the Australian Open with tournaments in Canberra and Tasmania. In Canberra, a Dutch woman lost a match in the opening round. Her name is Kristie Booger. I don't think that is a name that will lead to thousands of marketing and promotional opportunities for her in the US. In Tasmania, a loser in the second round was Anna Smashnova of Israel. Now there is a name that could be marketed on a lot of products but unless she looks like Anna Kournikova, Ms. Smashnova will be forced to do something very important to take advantage of her name; she will actually have to win something.

But don't get me wrong, I love sports...

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