Many of the reviews have been weighted to the positive side but not here in Washington where Lenny Shapiro is the guy who writes about sports media. Lenny does not like anyone except his friends and acquaintances and Lenny does not know Dennis Miller; so he ripped Dennis. Tony Kornheiser often calls Lenny, "The Assassin"; personally, I think Tony can drop the last five letters in that name.

Dennis Miller is not a jock; he is also never going to be elected to the Football Hall of Fame as an announcer; he is not a journalist. Dennis Miller is an entertainer and if he can blend into the rest of the crew and provide some entertainment while the football game is going on, then he will be fine. As he pointed out, this is a game he is announcing; it is not an event that could lead to a crossroads between world peace and the destruction of civilization as it has come to be understood. If Al will tell you what is happening on the field and who did it as Al is supremely capable of doing and if Dan will tell you about the hows and the whys of what is happening on the field as Dan is capable of doing, then Dennis has the opportunity to provide some entertainment value. And that ain't all bad.

Having said that, the game last night was dreadful. The real reason that MNF ratings tanked last year is that they drew a schedule of games that would have had to be 200% better to be classified as "dogs". Last nights game was the same. I know that both teams did not play their starters and I know that both teams have had only minimal time in camp, but these teams were terrible. San Francisco's OL cannot block for the run and none of their QBs showed any indication of competence. The tackling on defense for SF was so bad that I thought I was watching a USC/Washington State game. New England was only a bit better. And here is something that fans and execs at ABC/Disney/NFL have to understand:

Ultimately, fans tune in to see the game. If the games stink, the fans will find something else to do. You could shanghai Dandy Don and bring him back to the booth and exhume Howard Cosell and do a "Weekend at Bernie's" routine with him, but if the games suck the ratings will suck too.

The Buffalo Bills need a back-up QB until Doug Flutie's pulled groin heals. Did they go to the Arena League to try to find the next Kurt Warner? Did they check out NFL Europe stats? No, they put in a call to Alex Van Pelt who happened to be in the neighborhood and got him to come into camp and play that role.

Memo to Bills: Alex Van Pelt is no more an NFL QB than Linus Van Pelt. Alex has proven that conclusively for about 5 years now. Is anyone there paying attention?

Memo to O's: It's over !! Could it be that you now realize that Ryan's impact on your team could truly be "minor"?

The Cardinals are going in the tank; I believe they are 6-14 in their last 20 games and Cincy is closing the gap. Last Sunday night, Jon Miller was saying that they could make a run at the Cardinals if only they had another good left-handed starting pitcher. Joe Morgan said that the Yankees have two and maybe the Reds could get one of them.

Things are not looking up for Rae Carruth. First he lost his suit in court to gain custody of his child to get it away from Cherika Adams' mother. I think he definitely should have won that case since it is absolutely parallel to the Elian Gonzales case where the mother is dead and the father is living in a very controlled and controlling environment and we gave Elian back to the father. (And mercifully, the father took the kid home so we do not waste any more time hearing about him.) But Rae did not prevail there.

Next, Rae was offered a plea bargain where he would dodge the death penalty and face a maximum of life in prison but probably there would be parole possibilities. He and his attorney stalled and negotiated more and the offer was taken off the table. That means that he could still face "Ol' Sparky" or the "Black Flag Intravenous Drip" or whatever North Carolina uses.

Today we learn that one of his co-defendants has pleaded guilty to second degree murder and conspiracy to commit first degree murder and that he will testify in the trials of the other people charged in the case. I will defer to the attorneys who read these offerings on the important distinctions between first degree murder and second degree murder and conspiracy to commit first degree murder, but as a layman, I have to say that none of these sound like a good deal to me. And now Rae has one of his "running buddies" testifying against him and he has to be wondering if any of the others might take a deal that he missed out on.

Memo to Rae: It is sometimes beneficial to drag out a football negotiation to get some more money; if you do, you might actually miss a few "two-a-days" and that is not bad. Dragging out negotiations with a DA over something that involves the death sentence has to be done judiciously so that the DA does not take the offer away and replace it with a jury trial.

The Wizards are trying to unload Ike Austin without a lot of success and they are hoping to use their $2M salary cap exemption to sign a free agent who can play center. Here are some of the available players who fit that description: John Salley, Andrew Lang, Gheorge Muresan, Pervis Ellison, Sam Perkins, Tony Massenberg, Felton Spencer and Bill Wennington. If you could add the talent of any three of these players and put it in a single body, that creation is still not worth $2M.

Bob Huggins set a deadline of today to tell the Clippers if he would take their guaranteed $8M contract to coach that sorry set of losers. "Huggy Bear" - as Digger Phelps annoyingly calls him - beat the clock when he announced last night that he was staying in Cincinnati and the Paper Clips can look elsewhere. Rumor is that the next person in the waiting room is John Lucas who showed conclusively in his stint in Philly that he could not take a team of turkeys and make them into anything other than a feast for opposing teams. Huggins made a smart move even given the amount of money involved here.

Finally, I have the answer to one of the great dilemmas facing golf today. You can't pick up an article about golf without at least 20% of it being devoted to Tiger Woods; even when he is not playing in a tournament, there are references to him and to how his absence affects the field and the fan interest and the TV ratings. And when he does play, he dominates the field and wins by five jillion strokes and people worry that this will become boring and turn off the fans. So here is a way for the moguls of golf to solve two problems at once. I offer it to them free of charge; I expect no recognition for this synthesis of concepts:

You handicap Tiger Woods and therefore create more competition by making him piggy-back Casey Martin around the course. More competition, no law-suits, you have made a reasonable accommodation to a person with a disability and you give Tiger a new set of sponsorship opportunities for things like backpacks.

Hold your applause, please.