Sports Curmudgeon 8/3/00
 











  It is a slow day in the sports world; this is probably what is meant by the dog days of August. In baseball terms, if you look at the standings now and see that 10 teams have yet to win 50 games, you can get the idea that one-third of the teams can already play out the string through to the beginning of October. Ten teams are toast before some of the NFL teams have played their first pre-season game. I am no advocate for parity as practiced by the NFL; "parity" is a spin-doctor's word for "mediocrity". But the baseball situation needs to be addressed since there is an inner circle of teams that contend all the time and one or two teams each year that can make a race of it when all their players have "career years" all together. That sub-plot has already begun to wear thin.

The Cubbies have gone 11-2 in their last thirteen games and now head to San Diego where the competition is not one of the "inner circle of contenders." Nonetheless, they are still 8.5 games out of their division lead and the Cardinals who lead the division are in a slump. The probability that this continues for two more months is vanishingly small. But the Cubbies could make news since they have a pitcher that has to be traded to the Atlanta Braves. Steve Rain could be marketed there as the answer to the fans' prayers from 50 years ago … "Spahn and Sain and pray for Rain." As if Atlanta needs another pitcher or a marketing ploy to get fans into the ballpark.

Across town the White Sox are one of this year's Cinderella stories. On ESPN last night, there was an interesting statistic. At the moment, the White Sox are comfortably in the lead to have the best record in the AL. They also have committed 97 errors which is the worst in MLB - not just the AL. And never has a team led the league in errors and also led the league in victories.

The Cleveland Indians won a game last night that prevented them from falling to .500. They are in second place in the AL Central but they are closer to the cellar dwelling Minnesota Twins than they are to the White Sox.

Often, there is talk about what city is a "great sports town" and what city is a "bad sports town". I think that Montreal has just launched itself into the elite status on the list of "bad sports towns." The plight of the Expos is clear; no attendance; no TV; no English radio this year and no radio at all next year. In the CFL, the Montreal Alouettes went into bankruptcy and then emerged as a league owned team and then tanked again and was resuscitated again. The problem was no attendance. Now the Molson folks are trying to sell the Montreal Canadiens who have a new arena already and the reason is that they are losing money. The Canadiens have won more Stanley Cups than any other team so they are hardly feckless fools out there on the ice. I think there is a pattern that has emerged in Montreal.

In the NBA, John Starks signed with the Utah Jazz. Maybe the Jazz needs someone with attitude; but if they don't, Starks will be a fish out of water. The Jazz certainly does need another shooting guard but this is not a marriage that has that "long term look" to me.

Cuttino Mobley re-signed with the Houston Rockets. Cuttino was described by Charles Barkley as "instant points - on both ends of the court." Charles was never one to mince words and he has this one dead-center.

The Portland Trailblazers must think that Jerry Krause is as abjectly stupid as he is "personality challenged". They offered to trade Jermaine O'Neal to Chicago for Marcus Fizer and Jamal Crawford. To get the Bulls to accept that deal, someone from the Blazers will have to take hostages.

Mercifully, this Thursday's Golf Page in the Post is only two-thirds of a page. The main story is that the LPGA is losing its sponsor for one of its majors and it costs a corporation $5.5M to sponsor a major LPGA event. The LPGA folks are trying to court new sponsors and doing some damage control just in case by saying that it may not be important that they have four majors and who's to say what tournament is a major and what tournament is not. I happen to know that the "Official Cereal of the LPGA" is Multi-Grain Cheerios, and for the record, I would not eat that with your mouth. This week, the ladies will compete in the Michelob Lite Classic.

    Memo to LPGA Marketing Dept: Split the difference and have Cheerios and Michelob pay half each and create your 4th major where the champion puts beer on the cereal and chows down.

    Just a thought.

Jamall Anderson has named the Falcons' defensive line "The Backstreet Boys" since all four of the projected starters are white. That has evinced a chuckle. If someone were to refer to the Redskins' defensive line as the "Tap Dancers" or the "Rhythm Kings", there would be a demonstration on the Mall.

But the worst news of this slow news day is that the NCAA is likely to add yet another Bowl Game to the mix. I hope someone there has taken enough math courses to figure out that if they add sufficient bowl games it will be impossible to assure that either team will have a winning record in all of them. So, your question is where will this one be and what will it be called? Well, the naming of the bowl is still up for bids - uh, still up in the air. But the leading contender for a venue is Indianapolis and one potential name is the Hoosier Bowl.

Indianapolis at Christmas time, now there is a draw. I have always said to my long-suffering spouse that we should stop this traditional nonsense of spending Christmas at home and get ourselves out to Indianapolis for the festivities there. Now, with a football game to attend, that puts it over the top. I'm calling Greyhound and reserving my tickets today.

But don't get me wrong, I love sports...

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