I'll take the Ravens minus 2.5 against the Steelers for a mythical $55. I don't like the Steelers offense; I do like the Ravens' defense. Kent Graham will not elude the Ravens' pass rush; if Kordell comes in he will not hit any open receivers.

Contestant: I'll take Baseball for $100, Alex.

Alex: Dante Bichette replaces him in the outfield in the ninth inning as a defensive move.

Contestant: Who is Edward Scissorhands?

Alex: You're right. And you have control of the board………

And keep your eye on Preston Wilson of the Marlins. He has 30 games to play and has already struck out 166 times. That is about 1.25 strikeouts per game and at that rate he will destroy the major league record of 189 for a season set by Bobby Bonds in 1970. At his rate he will crack the 200 mark in strikeouts for a season.

The Blazers traded Jermaine O'Neal to the Pacers for Dale Davis. That gives them another big body to try to contend with Shaq. But the problem is that all of the big bodies are such that their main asset against Shaq is the number of fouls they are allowed to commit before hitting the bench. Obviously, if Shaq plays as he did this year, you do not go into a game trying to get a “push” at the center position in terms of points and rebounds and etc. But Sabonis/Davis/Kemp is not better by a lot than Sabonis/O'Neal/Grant from last year. And Davis is 31 while O'Neal is only 21. The Pacers now have three kids who went directly to the NBA from high school and ONeal is the oldest of the three. If Donnie Walsh has done his scouting homework correctly, the Pacers are going to be very good for a while. Oh yeah; the Pacers got Joe Kleine too. His role will be to assure that the end of the bench does not jump up and try to hit the ceiling thereby spilling the Gatorade cups.

After the NBA summer leagues and the various showcase games for kids just entering the NBA, word is that DeShawn Stevenson - the high school kid who jumped to the Utah Jazz - is a real prospect who should see time on the court next year. He hit something near 50% of his 3-point shots which is something that should earn him time all by itself. Word also is that Chris Mihm's lack of foot speed and agility shows up very quickly and that he needs a lot of work. Given that the Cavs traded Shawn Kemp, that may mean that they think Mihm will get lots of minutes at center. If that happens, they are in deep yogurt.

In college hoops silliness, the University of Missouri recruited a kid named Travon Bryant who certainly did not lack in confidence when he said that his goal was to be the freshman of the year in the Big 12 and that he always achieved his goals. There is one tiny problem here; he is academically ineligible even after a summer of academic focus and continued test taking.

Memo to Travon: Next time do first things first. Set your goal as “being eligible to play” and once you achieve that goal then you can set your next goal as “finding the damned gym” and then you can ………

Miami won their football opener 61-14 against the Cowboys of McNeese State. They used 69 different players so no one would accuse them of trying to run up the score on a Division 1-AA opponent and they did not cover the 50 point spread either. But there ought to be some way to prevent these games from happening in the first place.

My former colleague who is wasting his life away in Pismo Beach chastised me for not writing about the US Tennis Open. He actually watches tennis matches in their entirety. Well, the reason for no commentary is that no one cares about it and even when the top two seeds get bounced early, this is a non-event when it comes to news. If Pete Sampras manages to lose - just how many times will he have to “ralph” at courtside to lose his next match would make an interesting proposition bet - then the compelling final match could be between Joe Flabeetz with his power serve-and-volley game and Ben Dover with his cute little drop shots. Pardon me while I hibernate.

Zippy Chippy is a nine year old gelding whose lifetime racing record is ZERO for 86 starts. He has been banned from racing in New York because he is “not competitive”. His owner - who wants him to win just one race - got him in a trade for a used van about 5 years ago and has him entered in a race at Three County Fairgrounds in Massachusetts. There is not much downside after you lose a race at that venue. Trust me, the Breeders' Cup committee does not even have the phone number of this place on its Rolodex.

How the mighty have fallen. Randy White was MVP of the Superbowl with the Cowboys and was probably the best defensive lineman of his time. Now he has a toll free line where you can call in and get his picks for the week for a mere $25 charged to your Visa or Mastercard. And Jim McMahon is pimping for the Las Vegas Sports Network and appears on their radio show weekly with his special “insight and analysis”. You know this trend will have run its course when one of these “services” features the heretofore untapped brilliance of Richie Kotite.

But don't get me wrong, I love sports...