The Washington Redskins have been in training camp for about three days and little things are happening that point to the fact that team management may be headed backwards. Remember two years ago when Danny Boy Snyder held training camp at the Skins' practice facility and charged people $10 to watch practice and $10 to park their cars and forbade anyone to bring food or drink with them? Well, now it seems that the Redskins have specific "approved" vendors at their Carlisle PA training facility and when these vendors complained about "unfair competition" from some kids (ages 10 and 11) the security folks made them move on. They can only sell stuff from their "wagon" if they keep moving and do not stop in a fixed locale. The kids are selling water and soda for $1 a bottle instead of the $2 tag that the "approved vendors" are charging and the kids offer homemade chocolate chip cookies too. Danny Boy Snyder made his money doing corporate communications and relations and PR and all that stuff. How the hell can he be so tone deaf to issues like this? These are kids who are making a profit selling stuff at half the price of the "approved vendors"; are the vendors gouging the public or are they making the same profit as the kids after they pay "whomever" for their "approval"?
And then we have the new coach saying that he does not see why the team has to go away for training camp. He'd rather stay home like they did at Florida. You just know that makes the people in Carlisle feel good, right? The team hasn't even played its first pre-season game and they are building up negative stories already.
The LA Dodgers pulled a similar gaffe about a week ago. They had Autograph Day where team members would be available to sign for kids 14 and under. With kids in line and with no announcement or explanation, it seems that time expired and the players just left. People did not know what was going on and continued to stand there for a while thinking that the players had just taken a break. A Dodger spokesperson said that this was indeed a major mistake and that the team should have had signed pictures to hand out to people who could not get to the players for an autograph, but they did not. However, this spokesperson must love the taste of shoe leather because he went on to "explain" that the Dodgers did this three times a year and they divide the squad into thirds for each one of the sessions so the players only have to do this once. That's why only certain players were there that day.
Please remember this story about the Dodgers when you hear the inevitable cries of how important the fans are to baseball. You will hear all that whenever the labor dispute is about to be settled; you'll hear how we have to make things right for the fans and that the players and the owners just want to give the game back to the fans. When you hear that balderdash, please remember that players who make an average salary of $2.5M per year are aided and abetted by the teams that pay them all that money to be exposed to fan autograph sessions only once per season. That tells you exactly what the players and the teams think about you - when they do not think they need to pander to you to get you back to the ballpark with your wallets open.
There is a commercial playing on the radio stations here for Golf Digest magazine. If you order the magazine for a year, you get a videotape and a booklet and a handy pocket guide that will show you how to improve your swing so that you will not hit a slice. Wonderful. At the end of the commercial is says that if your game does not improve, you can cancel the subscription and keep the tape and the book and the handy pocket guide as their gift.
Memo to Ad Agency: If my game did not improve, why the hell would I want to keep these things?
In Ireland they play a game called Gaelic football. It is not soccer nor is it rugby. I believe it is similar to Australian Rules football but that is a guess and is really not critical to this item. There is a team from Roscommon, which won the league championship and took its celebration a bit far. Team members were captured on videotape in an advanced state of naked inebriation playing billiards. Yes, they were drunk, had no clothes on and shooting pool. The entire team has been banished from the league. Now I'm sure that some of you think that I'm going to make some wisecrack about naked pool players and pool cues, but that would be in less than good taste. Rather I'd like to point out what the league pooh-bah had to say in banishing the team. He said this was something they had to do for sake of Roscommon football and that the team had been "beset by exaggerated rumors" regarding the behavior of the players and that they "proved to be true".
Memo to League President: If the rumors proved to be true, then they weren't very exaggerated, were they?
Ricky Williams has been diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder and is taking medication for that condition. The story has become sufficiently widespread that the disorder is now being referred to by the acronym SAD. Does that make Ricky a SADist? I'm sure that Williams has had top drawer medical attention and diagnosis but by having a nationally known poster child for this condition, I suspect there will be an amazing growth in diagnoses of this kind in the general population. People who are simply social misfits and fundamental a-holes will now be afforded "medical cover" for their behaviors. Here is the workingman's guide you should use to judge if someone really has Social Anxiety Disorder:
If a person is uncomfortable and anxious in a social situation and would prefer to retreat from it, he/she probably has SAD.
If everyone in a room is uncomfortable and anxious when a person enters a room and everyone wishes the Hell he/she would leave, then the person does not have SAD; he/she is simply an a-hole.
Two days ago, the Detroit Tigers beat the KC Royals 3-0 and the game took 1 hour and 41 minutes. It was the shortest game in 18 years and with 2-minute intervals between half innings, the game played in 1 hour and 5 minutes. Far be it from me to complain about games that last less than 3 hours but there are two observations here that just have to be made:
Even when the Tigers win, they lose. This game probably went so fast that most people never got to go back for a second beer. I bet concession revenues were down significantly.
If you had to pick a pair of teams to play the shortest game in 18 years, wouldn't Detroit and KC be on your very short list?
Florida Marlins' third baseman, Mike Lowell wants José Canseco to write his "tell-all book". Lowell idolized Canseco as a kid and once spent $80 for Canseco's rookie card. Let's just say the card has not appreciated in value any more than AOL-Time Warner stock has appreciated since its merger. So Lowell is hoping that the book will kick the value of the rookie card back up.
Memo to Mike: Once you qualify for salary arbitration – assuming that arbitration continues to exist after the dust settles – you will not need to worry about the value of José Canseco's rookie card ever again.
An offshore casino is taking bets on whether or not there will be a baseball strike. They are offering even money that the season will be completed as scheduled and have a strike on the board at "minus 140". In addition, they are offering odds on baseball contraction. The odds on two teams being contracted is "minus 130". Since the objective of the bookmaker is to balance the bets on either side of a proposition, this means that whatever action they are taking on these bets is tilted strongly toward a strike happening and two teams disappearing from baseball next year. Frankly, if a strike happens and the World Series is cancelled again this year, there may be 30 teams "contracted" next season…
Finally, I thought the Cleveland Indians were trading off players to go with a youth movement and here they bring up a pitcher from their farm team named Dave Elder. What's up with that?
But don't get me wrong, I love sports...
