On defense, the key number is 5.6; if a defense can hold opponents to less than 5.6 yards per pass attempt, then in the 1999 season they did pretty well. Once again, the worst record for a team to hold opponents to less than 5.6 yards per pass attempt was 8-8; the average record of the seven teams to beat this mark was 10-6. Among the good teams in the league on this list are Tampa Bay, Buffalo, Jax and St. Louis. When you look at the stats for a game, check out the yards per pass attempt for each team on offense and defense and you can get an idea of who was doing well and who was not.

The Buffalo Bills have twelve rookies on their 53 man roster as of opening day and only one of their draft picks - a 7th round wide receiver - did not make the team. Either they are trying to make their draft look good, or these guys have a really good scouting department. Only the 49ers have more young players but the Bills look like they have a shot at the playoffs and the 49ers are not a lock for a New Years' Day Bowl Game this year.

Things were so bad for the Dallas defense even before getting bitch-slapped by the Eagles that they lured CB Phillippi Sparks out of retirement in the last week of the pre-season. He spent a large portion of his first day of training camp on the sidelines puking because he was not prepared for the 100+ temperatures in Texas. Sparks had some good years in NY, but the chances that he is ready to repeat any of those performances are vanishingly small.

Memo to Jerry Jones: As you go down to the sidelines in the 4th quarter of a game, listen closely. If you hear someone calling for "Earl". It is likely to be Phillippi.

Shante Carver
Kavicka Pittman

Before Sunday's game, New Orleans coach Jim Haslett said that it was possible that all three of his QBs might play. Jeff Blake would start and Aaron Blake and Jake Delhomme were in the wings ready to step in when the time was right. Well, the Saints offense stunk on Sunday - so what's new? - and if he was correct in saying that all three were potentially major contributors to the offensive effort, then all I can conclude is that they all stink.

When the Browns signed Doug Pederson after Doug was cut by the Eagles they really should have looked deeper into the matter. Doug was cut and the Eagles retained Ron Powlus. Is there a message there? Unless Beano Cook is making the final cut decisions, this should tell GMs around the league something really important.

The Broncos got bad news today. Olandis Gary was their insurance policy against Terrell Davis re-injuring his knee or not being able to come back all the way from his injury. And Gary is a fine running back in his own right. Unfortunately, Gary will need knee re-construction after tearing the ACL in his knee on Monday night.

Players and writers in Jax are saying that their window of opportunity for a Super Bowl may be closing since a whole lot of players on this team will be free agents at the end of the season. Fred Taylor, however, took the urgency to a new level when he said that, "The team is not going to have the same number of guys the next couple of years." Why not, Fred? Is Jax going to be in a handicap match? Are they only going to suit up 40 players next year? I'll bet that they have the same number of players although I won't bet that you could count high enough to cover all of them.

Paul Gruber has retired from the Bucs. If you like a guy who plays at the highest levels of the game and never causes problems and never draws attention to himself in ways other than outstanding play, you'd like him. As an OT he missed 9 games in 12 seasons - several of them last year when he broke his leg. At age 35, he hung it up.

Andre Reed was either released or he decided to leave the Broncos because he was going to be their #5 receiver this year and may not have dressed for many games. As a future Hall of Fame candidate, he did not need that punctuation mark on his career.

My Pismo Beach colleague sent me a letter to the editor from a California paper singing the praises of Vin Scully. The author said that Vinny was the glue that held the Dodgers together from Jackie Robinson to the present. The author said he knew that the day would come when Vinny would retire and that he could not stand the thought and so he was listening to every inning he could so that he would have more memories. Let me give you just one quotation, "The team could be losing 14-3, and I'll keep watching until he signs off for the night." The good news about this letter: it came from a Californian and did not contain the word "dude" even one time. The bad news about this letter: the author obviously needs to schedule some time with my good friend Dr. Feelgood.

Over the weekend I learned that when the Dodgers called up Sandy Koufax, they made room on their roster by shipping out Tommy Lasorda. Good move on the part of the GM there.

Shawn Kemp gave an interview to some people in Portland where he said that the trade to the Blazers would be the rebirth of his career. He admitted that his weight had eclipsed the 300 lb mark last year but said that it was a good thing because he had to play center most of the year and the added weight probably kept him from getting hurt. (Yeah, and that used car was only driven on Sunday to and from church…) He said that he was reuniting with management and coaches who were with him in Seattle when he was "the Reign Man" (must have been a local thing) and he was going to recreate that style and that play. And then he said that the persona of "the Reign Man" was his most prized possession.

Memo to Shawn: You have seven kids around the country as souvenirs of your stopovers in NBA cities. Couldn't at least one of them edge out "the Reign Man" as your most prized possession?

Memo to Jerry: Since you like to be portrayed as the Father Flannagan figure for kids who are down on their luck, why not retire and devote your energies to representing Casey Martin in his struggles with the Pusillanimous Golfers Association.

1. Eat whatever you want.

2. If it tastes good, spit it out!

But don't get me wrong, I love sports...