If the Redskins' fans think that they have problems, they ought to be in Pittsburgh where the Steelers are in that unenviable state often referred to as "circling the drain." The Steelers are 0-2 and have the Titans, Jets and Jags as the next three teams on the schedule. After those three games one would think the schedule gets easier with Cincy and Cleveland in the next two weeks until you consider:

Steelers have lost two in a row to the Browns.

Steelers have lost three of the last four to the Bungles (that used to be a felony until they repealed the law against football futility)

Steelers have lost their last eight AFC Central games.

In NCAA football, a defensive end for Utah was arrested for breaking a baseball bat over the head of a teenager. The victim suffered "serious injuries to the head" and is in stable condition in a hospital. Utah has suspended the player, Sean Patrick O'Keefe, pending the outcome of the situation. If that were all there was to the story, it would be pretty "vanilla" but at the bottom of the story about this incident is the statement that LB, Cory Dodds was also suspended from the team pending the outcome of the situation because of information that Dodds was "involved in the beating."

Buffalo University had a shot at winning its first Div 1-A game last weekend. This weekend they face Bowling Green University who does not look like a powerhouse since they lost to Temple. Nonetheless, Buffalo is a three touchdown underdog. Can you imagine how hard it is going to be for those guys to get ready to play football in Buffalo in November?

A reader asked me about the spread on the K-State/N. Texas game that I said began with the number "5". Officially, the spread is 52; it opened on Monday at 50.5 and has gone up.

In another game that would be a candidate for the SAT Bowl, Duke is 17 point underdog against Vandy.

Maybe this news will assuage the tortured sports fans in the DC area. The Pittsburgh franchise of the National Lacrosse League (formerly the Major Indoor Lacrosse League) will move here and play in the MCI Center (known locally as The Phone Booth). The National Lacrosse League creates an acronym that does not "pronounce well". If I refer to the NLL as "The Null" or "The Nill", this is not the image they want. Someone needs to talk to these folks. And there is one more difficulty. A lot is being made that this franchise that is moving to Washington will be partially owned by Gary Gait. Now the fact that none of you reading this just inhaled and said "Wow!" is very important because according the Commissioner of The Null, Gait is "the Michael Jordan of lacrosse" and having him as a league owner "brings a lot of credibility to the league."

Memos to the Commish:

1. Most sports fans cannot pick Gary Gait out of a line-up with the Three Stooges.

2. When "the Michael Jordan of lacrosse" is that invisible, you have other problems to worry about in addition to what cities your teams play in.

3. More credibility will accrue to your league if you would acknowledge the reality that your league is a backwater of the sporting world and that your job is to advance it all the way up to a stagnant pond full of mosquito larvae and stop insulting us with news conferences that make it appear that someone other than your mother gives a rat's ass about what you say.

Yesterday, the Orioles pitchers gave up 15 walks in a nine inning game. With the game still in doubt in the 7th inning and the bases loaded, Mike Hargrove summoned BJ Ryan from the bullpen and BJ proceeded to walk the next three batters on thirteen pitches. Leslie Brea who was the pitcher that the Orioles had demanded be included in the Mike Bordick trade pitched the final two innings. He did not give up a run or a hit, but he did walk 4 batters. And by pitching two shutout innings, he lowered his ERA to 13.50.

Sometimes you read something in the papers and you feel like your career is amounting to nothing because of the incredible accomplishments of others. This is not one of those cases. Haverford College has just named Jim Rowe and George Brosky as "part-time assistant coaches" for the men's basketball team. Admittedly, that is higher on the career ladder than "squeegie person working at 15th and Main Street", but just how much higher is open to debate.

When I look at the box score for the Olympic basketball games involving the 2000 version of the "Dream Team" I have this sense that if you took that team and made it play an entire NBA season together, it would not necessarily win its division and would certainly not win a championship. Don't even think of playing this version of the "Dream Team" against the NBA guys who are NOT on the team. If this is the kind of "professional" team that we are going to send, let's go back to sending the college kids.

Finally, since you are much too busy to read the agate type, let me inform you that South Korean women swept the Gold, Silver and Bronze medals in Women's Individual Archery. So what would be "Pairs Archery"? One does the shooting and one is the target? If you have to shoot an apple off the head of your partner, wouldn't that give the Swiss an advantage?

But don't get me wrong, I love sports...