Sports Curmudgeon 9/22/00
 











  I am going to make three small mythical bets this weekend. I don't really like these wagers very much and I really dislike the other choices. Of course these are not real wagers and no one would use this information as the basis for making a wager because that wouldn't be right. The year-to-date record is 9-3 with an imaginary profit of $205.
    In college football, I'll take Cincinnati plus 6 against Indiana for a mythical $22. Indiana had the lead and then lost to NC State who looks like a mirage team to me. Cincinnati has played tough all season long.

    In the NFL, I'll take Tennessee minus 6.5 against Pittsburgh for a mythical $22. I was planning to take this game "over" in addition to the win bet, but with Kevin Dyson out for the year Tennessee will need to adjust their offense a bit. This is my model of a good team playing a really bad team.

    In the NFL I'll take Oakland minus 10.5 against Cleveland for a mythical $22. Oakland is not a really good team but Cleveland is probably the worst 2-1 team in the NFL by a mile and a half. I don't think Cleveland can do it three weeks in a row.

You may ask why I don't like the Rams against the Falcons. Reason is that the Falcons can run the ball and could play a game where the Rams just don't get the ball that often. And the Rams defense can be run on!

When Dana Stubblefield reported to practice with the Redskins yesterday, he said that the incident where he was arrested for domestic abuse was no big deal. He said that no one was hurt and that it was just one of those "typical arguments that you have with your wife once in a while". Excuse me !!! I have been married for almost 35 years to a woman who will be on such a fast track for canonization that Mother Teresa will have her doors blown off. We have had a few arguments in that time but none of our" typical arguments" have included the special ingredient where the police are called and come to the door and haul my ass off to jail so I have the honor and pleasure of posting a $2500 bond and am ordered not to be within 100 feet of my wife for the next 48 hours. Am I completely out of step here? Is this the modern state of marital discourse? I'll send Miss Manners an e-mail on that…

As part of the hyperbole that is standard fare in the Washington media, there was a "crisis" at Redskin Park today. Cory Raymer partially tore his ACL in training camp and has begun rehab and light workouts hoping to return in about two or three weeks. During an agility drill his knee "collapsed" and he had to be carted off the field but later in the day he said that it felt better and it was feeling stronger. You might think that Cory Raymer was the NFL equivalent of Michael Jordan; he's not! Since he is injured, I won't make my customary comment about what an "agility drill" for Cory might be…

Kevin Carter will not start at DE for the Rams this week because he skipped practice on Wednesday without calling anyone on the coaching staff. That sounds ominous until you learn that his wife gave birth to their first child on Tuesday. Coach Mike Martz characterized this situation as a "line that can't be crossed". Carter is in the last year of his contract and he led the league in sacks last year with 17. For Martz' sake, I hope this is not going to become an issue when the Rams try to re-sign Carter.

Cleveland punter Chris Gardocki has been fined for the league for gesturing to the Steelers' bench on Sunday. Gardocki evidently was trying to communicate that the Browns are number one!

In the Berlin Marathon, several runners ran about 15 miles and then hopped on the subway for a while and then finished the race in pretty decent time. Of course they were disqualified because they were not recorded at all the necessary checkpoints. They should also get failing grades in their history classes since they obviously did not study the chapter on Rosie Ruiz.

Carl Everett has obviously been skipping his medication again and got into another locker room shouting match - this time with teammate Darren Lewis. Anyone who thinks that there is even a glimmer of hope that this can be changed forgot to hear what GM Dan Duquette said after the dust-up, "It's more important how he produces in the field; I fully expect he will be with us next year." Dr. Feelgood can correct me here, but I think that could earn Duquette the title of "Enabler of the Year".

Phillies pitcher Omar Daal did not lose yesterday and so his record remains at 3-19. No pitcher in the last 21 years has lost 20 games in a season but with 10 games to go, Omar should get two more starts - unless Terry Francona takes pity on him. Even more importantly, yesterday's win by the Phillies over the Mets assures that the Phils will not lose 100 games this year. Only the Cubbies and the Devil Rays have that potential.

In Olympic news, two more Bulgarian weightlifters have tested positive for "banned substances". One of them had won a gold medal and it will be taken back. This may create another "three strikes and your out" situation where the entire team will be sent home as happened to the Rumanian weightlifting team last week.

A US boxer in the lightweight class was eliminated because he did not make the weight. He was two kilograms over the limit which is a non-trivial amount. A team spokesthing said that the boxer had been having difficulty with weight for some time now but that the team hoped he could keep it under control for the entire tournament. That is the kind of up close and personal thing I really want to see. Here is the story of a guy who works for years getting his face and body pummeled to come to the Olympics only to lose out because he could not push away from a buffet table. Hey guy, throw another shrimp on the barbie; it can't hurt now.

The IOC is investigating the "possibility" that some of the members of the national Olympic committees have taken their VIP tickets and scalped them. The US and Switzerland are two Olympic committees that were named in the "scandal". After all the bribery and other shenanigans that happen regarding the IOC and their affiliates, why is ticket scalping even on the radar screen?

Danny Boy Snyder is being sued by a father and son who were the groundskeepers for the Redskins at their training facility for about 20 years. Danny Boy fired them when he bought the team and in a Sports Illustrated article said that he did it because the fields were a mess and that their shoddy work was hurting the team. They claim mental anguish and defamation and all that stuff. They are seeking a retraction from Danny Boy and some "unspecified settlement" of the "cash money variety". Danny Boy will defend the charges "vigorously". That must be a form of "lawyerspeak" because everyone claims they will defend charges "vigorously"; what is the difference between "vigorously" and "energetically"? I think I know the difference between "vigorously" and "truthfully".

In that little vignette is a potential chink in Danny Boy's armor. He is the "tough guy" who demands accountability and performance and results. Problem is that he seems to be more of a bully than a tough guy. He fires groundskeepers, secretaries and elevator operators and he makes grand pronouncements about players, but does not even discipline them when they don't produce. A recent example is his statement to LaVar Arrington that "Redskins don't hold out." Well, LaVar did hold out; as his punishment he got a $10.6M signing bonus but was not allowed to start in the first few games of the season. Other players make boneheaded plays and receive no reprimand at all. And even though I know that none of the Redskins were likely finalists in the National Merit Scholarship competition, even they can see through this eventually. And pretty soon, the "tough guy" becomes the one they just chuckle about as they cash the big checks.

In the agate type of Olympics' results, I notice today that the highest US finisher in the 25mm rapid fire pistol competition was 15th place. We have to get our Olympic pistol shooting team organizers to start checking out the streets of Washington DC. We have hundreds of people here who use rapid fire pistols on a daily basis. This should be a priority for the next Olympiad.

But don't get me wrong, I love sports...

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