Let me suggest two milestones on the enjoyment spectrum. On the plus side, consider a romantic candlelit dinner with your favorite date/spouse/significant other/insignificant other. On the minus side, consider a radiological exam that begins with a barium enema. Do you have those things fixed in your mind? OK, now where on that enjoyment spectrum would you place the Nets/Spurs game last night? Yes it was a close game that went down to the final moments; but as you search your mind for adjectives and adverbs to describe it, you would have to look less extensively in the bucket of words related to "artistic" and "highly competent" than you would in the bucket of words related to "annoyingly butt-ugly". With just under 3 minutes to play in the 3rd quarter, the score was 56-55 (Nets leading); and if you think that this is because both teams were playing outstanding defense you would be – in a word – wrong.

Last night, the Yankees were on the receiving end of a combined no hit game courtesy of six Astros' pitchers. Twice before in baseball history, teams have recorded combined no hitters using four pitchers; now, the record is up to six. The Yankees struck out 13 times last night. The last time the Yankees were held hitless for a game was during the Eisenhower Administration. I suspect that Mr. Steinbrenner's blood pressure medications had to be increased…

I did a Topical Rant about a week ago about the mixing of politicians and sports. Well, it's happening again. The ACC presidents had another two-hour conference call yesterday and no decision came from that. That is sorry enough but into the fray comes Governor Mark Warner of Virginia who thinks that mediation between the ACC and the Big East could solve this problem; and – hold on, I don't want this to be too big a shock – he thinks he could serve as the mediator. I live in Virginia; the state has a budget crisis of Olympic proportion; Gov. Warner told us in his campaign that he had a plan to resolve our transportation mess but never got to specifics. It turned out to be a tax increase that got voted down in referendum by about 2 to 1. There are lots of other problems in the state including education and health care and unemployment. Obviously, Hizzoner the Governor does not have someone on his staff who can sit him down and give him some straight scoop. So I'll assume that role here:

Memo to Governor Warner: You have real problems to solve – if you are actually capable of doing anything about them. A pillow fight between NCAA conferences is not one of those problems. Shut up quickly or you will begin to look like Nero fiddling whilst Rome burned.

Another politician dipped his toe in the sports water yesterday, too. At least President Clinton really does have a surplus of time on his hands these days. Giving a lecture to the National Association of Whatevers is no more or less important than calling Sammy Sosa and telling him to hang in there against those who say bad things about you. It is not advice that will go down in history alongside "Go west, young man," or "Never give a sucker an even break." But at least, the act of giving the advice did not take time away from some other activity that might have actually mattered a whit. According to Sosa, the advice for the ages came down to this:

"He told me to stay strong and don't give up. It's something that happens to people. It'll go away."

That sounds like a top-level summary of most of the Clinton Administration from more than a couple of vantage points, no?

Former NC State and Harlem Globetrotter guard, Clyde "The Glide" Austin was one of four men arrested and charged with scamming about $10M from people in Richmond VA with a phony investment scheme. This one allegedly was one of those deals where you invested and got huge rates of return but unless you got in early, you lost your money because later "investors" had their money used to pay off the earlier ones. According to the charges, some of the scammers targeted their church brethren as marks. Two things about this matter are interesting:

1. It is refreshing to see an athlete arrested for something other than DUI, drugs or beating up a spouse/girlfriend.

2. One of the other men charged in the case is named Richard A. Hertz, Sr. Come on, people. If your last name is Hertz, you don't name your kid Richard; think about it.

With Wimbledon approaching, tennis will be in the news for a while. If you think that all tennis stories are stuffy, here is one that will convince you that you are right. A Russian woman player was penalized a point in a match for "excessive grunting". Using the "hindrance rule", such a penalty is permitted if the excessive grunting continues after a warning. Evidently, even players on an adjacent court complained about the volume of her "outbursts". Sounds to me like a story line coming together for Wimbledon…

Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals drew the largest TV ratings in the last 30 years. ESPN/ABC and the NHL will crow about that but here is what they won't tell you. ABC still finished behind NBC and CBS in the ratings for Monday night and those networks were doing summer reruns. That picture alone should give you the data you need to understand that the NHL is in financial peril. They play to well attended games so there is not much more revenue to extract from gate receipts and if the TV games can't outdraw reruns, the possibility of a huge increase in TV revenue is zero, sip, nada, nil, fugeddaboudit. The economics of this league have to change quickly or the league will involuntarily contract. That is spin-meister talk for "teams will go bankrupt - permanently".

Finally, the minor league Orlando Rays will move next year to Montgomery Alabama where they will be renamed as the Montgomery Biscuits. Team folks say that biscuits are part of the heritage of Alabama; at least one politico – with more time on his hands than he ought to have – things this name will bring derision to the state. One comedian has "wondered" if the Biscuits' mascot will include a sausage named "Gravy". I just hope the mascot doesn't get a yeast infection.

But don't get me wrong, I love sports...

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