1. NCAA pick being flaunted in the face of the idiotic Congressthings who want to outlaw wagering on college games: Purdue minus 13 vs Penn State for a mythical $33. This is the Big Ten's year to get even with Penn State.

2. Another NCAA pick; take that dummies: Illinois plus 1 vs Minnesota for a mythical $33. Illini got jobbed against Michigan and take it out on Minnesota.

3. Jaguars minus 10.5 vs Steelers for a mythical $33. Game opened at 11.5 then came off the board when Brunell's status was in question and reopened at 10.5. This will be higher at game time if Brunell is able to walk without a crutch.

4. Take "OVER" 33 in Dolphins/Bungles game for mythical $22. I have a hunch that Cincy scores this weekend to celebrate the departure of Bruce "Millstone" Coslett. And 33 is a mighty low total!!

5. Take "OVER" 47.5 in 49ers/Cardinals game for mythical $44. Neither team stops anybody. If these were soccer teams, they'd have one-legged goalkeepers. (Props to Monty Python here.)

AL Cy Young Award goes to Pedro Martinez and no one else is in the running.

Al Manager of the Year could be Jerry Manuel or Art Howe or Mike Scoscia. Since the Angels will be sitting at home real soon, knock out Scoscia and toss a coin. Manuel wins the coin flip.

AL Rookie of the Year is Kazihero Sasaki. As of today he has 35 saves out of 38 opportunities. I know that "saves" are a stupid stat, but who else did anything really outstanding this year?

NL MVP is Jim Edmonds. He got the Cards off to a fast start and supplied offense and defense and leadership when McGwire was out for over a month. Piazza, Helton and Bonds should get some votes too.

NL Cy Young goes to Randy Johnson. Those who vote against him, will either vote for Maddux or Glavine. If Carlos Perez gets even one vote, the award should be discontinued immediately.

NL Manager of the Year is Dusty Baker. Period.

NL Rookie of the Year is Rafael Furcal. What else would he have had to do to get this award? Levitate from first to third on a single to right?

Preston Wilson of the Marlins has struck out 186 times this year. The MLB record is held by Bobby Bonds at 189. We had two hitters challenge the .400 barrier this year; we had a player on track to break the all time record for hits in a season. None of that will happen, but Preston has a shot. He needs to strike out 4 more times in 4 more games. He is averaging about 1.2 strikeouts per game. This could go down to the final plate appearance of the season. But he was used only in a pinch-hitting role yesterday (striking out, thank you very much) and that could spoil all the fun.

What was all the fuss about when the Mets clinched the wild card spot and went on a champagne pouring spree in the clubhouse? Don't tell me this is the beginning of celebrations where the shout will be "We're Number Two !" In some instances, that statement would not be so far off the mark.

I have a question for the baseball moguls. How come it is important to postpone games on account of rain in April and May which creates scheduling logjams in September but it is perfectly OK to play games in September in rainstorms that approach monsoon levels? Either the games should be played as scheduled - save for weather events like tornado sightings and lightening strikes where human lives are at stake - or they should also be postponed in September creating "Ernie Banks' Days". Let's play three.

In the last 8 seasons, Florida State has beaten Maryland by an average of 35 points per game. This is certainly not the best Florida State team of the last decade by a long shot (they were merely a 30 point favorite this time), but they are good. Maryland has had a jocular old guy coaching them who was out of touch with planet Earth; then they brought in a guy from a small time program who demonstrated what it means to be "over your head" in a job; now they have a "rah-rah" guy who keeps telling anyone who will listen that the program has turned the corner and that the team is just one or two big plays away from glory. Last night Florida State came into College Park to play the Terps. Results:

FSU  59
MD     7
(Noles covered for those who left their calculators at home.)

Terps had 4 first downs until two minutes to go when they got four more against lots of clean uniforms.

Terps called time out with 6 seconds to play with the ball on the 5 yard line to try to score. No dice. Even against the clean uniforms.

Lamont Jordan scored on a 74 yard run with 5:22 to play in the second quarter; it was the Terps only first down up to that point.

FSU had over 600 yards of offense even though Chris Weinke hurt his ankle and did not play after the first series of the 3rd quarter.

The Williams sisters won the gold medal in women's doubles at the Olympics to the surprise of just about no one. They appear to be very charming and articulate young women but as I listened to them I had a gnawing feeling. They are very young and that means that they will be around for a long time and that means that their father/coach will also be around for a long time and he is not charming by a long shot. Regarding the "dispute" between John McEnroe and the Williams sisters, someone observed that it just showed that John has "Venus envy".

Having said that, Jalena Dokic's father is truly a piece of work. After being booted out of Wimbledon this year for "tantrums unbecoming any life form that walks upright", he was also barred from the Olympic competition as a coach for his daughter and as a spectator. Now if tennis were pro rasslin - or even boxing - Mr. Dokic and Mr. Williams would "get into it" in the stands whilst their offspring were trying to play tennis and that would create a situation where a tennis racket would be cracked over the head of … You get the idea.

In the Marty McSorley trial in Vancouver, the defense strategy seems to be that McSorley tried to hit Donald Brashear on the shoulder to start a fight where McSorley hoped to beat him up. That makes the "attack" palatable since it fall within the definition of "implied consent" which means that hockey players expect that to happen and therefore give tacit consent to it when they play the game. To those of us who just watch this kind of stuff happen, that is so outrageous that it makes sense - almost. At least there has been no testimony to the effect that no blow was struck or that if one was actually struck through some unknown agent, McSorley would spend the rest of his life seeking the real clobberer. El Kabong !!!

By the way, here is something for the Olympic mavens to think about. If there needs to be background music, it isn't a sport; get rid of it. That applies to summer and winter events. And is it only a coincidence or do you also notice that the more contrived the "competition" is, the louder the music is playing?

The NFL (often known as the No Fun League) has responded to the Terrell Owens stupidity with some of its own. They have expanded the "taunting rule" and now - according to Jerry Seeman - a 15 yard penalty will be assessed any time a player strikes a pose regardless whether it is directed at the opposition or the opposing bench. They have just been suckered into trying to define poor taste. Suppose Reggie White runs a fumble into the end zone and strikes a pose of kneeling in prayer. Is that unusual? Is that taunting? If they walk off 15 yards for that, they are in trouble. The problem is not the rule; it is that the officials did nothing when Owens did it the first time. Once that behavior went unpunished, that meant it was acceptable for that game and the rest was pretty predictable.

Scanning the agate type for important Olympic results, the US barely missed out on a medal in Men's Synchronized Diving. The US competitors come from Ventura California and Fort Lauderdale Florida and that could explain their inability to compete at a world level. It must be hard to practice and when you have to account for the time differences...

But don't get me wrong, I love sports...