Sports Curmudgeon

Somebody once wrote a book called Kids Say The Darndest Things. Now perhaps we are moving toward a compilation of quotations from coaches that will be titled, Coaches Say The Dumbest Things. There will definitely be plenty of material. Look, I have two entries right here and I didn't have to go to the Richie Kotite archives yet

Phil Jackson: “Kobe has always shown himself to be self-contained. Self-control has always been one of his biggest things.”

de minimis

Bill Callahan (after the Raiders lost to the Lions): “You've got to give the Lions a lot of credit. They're a hell of a club.”

The Lions – with their win over the Raiders – are now 2-6. Most folks don't think they are a “hell of a club”; most folks think they are the “club from Hell.” Bill Callahan's Raiders are showing signs of desperation. They just signed Rob Johnson who was cut by the Redskins and whose career seems to be that he had a couple of good games sometime in the past that no one can quite remember. If that sounds bleak, consider that if they did not sign Johnson, they could be looking at a run of games with four of the most frightening words in all of football, “starting quarterback, Rick Mirer. “

About 6 months ago, I said that I thought the Indy Colts would be the prime candidates to move to the LA market. Their lease on their stadium is up sooner than other teams have their leases expire and no one could possibly argue that Indy is a bigger and more attractive market than LA. In a recent column in the LA Times, T. J. Simers reported that Colts' owner, Jim Irsay, has recently applied for membership at Riviera golf Club in Pacific Palisades CA. Membership entry fee there is $200K. If someone in the Indy area wants to break a story, I'd suggest they develop sources within the moving van drivers' community. The Colts have this preferred way of leaving town…

The Vikings and the Chargers are also teams that might try to move into the LA market. Interestingly, the Vikes and the Chargers play in San Diego this weekend. Imagine if the fire situation in the San Diego area were still a mess and this game had to be moved to another venue. Arizona is at home that day so the game can't go there. However, north in LA there is the Coliseum and the Rose Bowl which might have been venues for this game had it been “displaced”. That would have been ironic.

I don't do much hockey stuff here because I am not nearly as focused on hockey as many other sports, but there are a few items floating out there that need comment. First of all, the Toronto Star had an article that said that nine teams in the NHL this year are averaging less than 14,000 fans per game. Early attendance figures show a league-wide decline. I suspect that the NHL Commissioner will not need to suggest “contraction” as part of the upcoming labor negotiations; there is likely to be “involuntary contraction”.

Another wild card in the NHL labor negotiation saga could be the resurrection of the old World Hockey League if/when the NHL stops playing for a year. Supposedly, there are moves afoot to find potential arena venues for teams in the WHL just in case…

During the playoffs last year, Jean-Sebastien Giguere was a media favorite. He was the “hot goalie” who “came up big between the pipes.” This season, “Giggy” is 1-6 and has saved less than 90% of the pucks that have come his way. That kind of performance could find him back in some minor league taking buses from Flin-Flon to Froze-To-Death-Lake if he isn't careful.

I don't recall where I heard this so I can't attribute it properly, but someone said that a true conspiracy theorist would conclude that the Shaq/Kobe feud was not concocted to take the publicity focus off of Kobe's rape trial. Rather, it was concocted in NBA Headquarters to take the publicity focus off the beginning of the NHL season. That would be a hard sell even for Oliver Stone.

I know that I will have this next thing explained to me in a patient and thorough manner by The NASCAR Babe, but here is something I just don't understand. Matt Kenseth has won one race this year but he is the leader in the Winston Cup Points Standings. Ryan Newman has won eight races and is fifth in the same standings. For those of us who do not understand the subtle nuances of NASCAR, it always seemed that winning races was what it was all about. Maybe not? Sounds like the people who drew up the scoring rules here were the same ones that concocted those clear and simple instructions that the Internal Revenue Service sends you every year.

The NHL may be having attendance woes, but the Atlanta Hawks are not drawing flies. Already, they are playing to crowds announced as 5,683. Jeff Schultz in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution said:

“For what it's worth, if the real turnstile count hit 1,000, Deion Sanders would make a great NBA coach too.”

Some baseball trade rumors have surfaced and the St. Louis Cardinals are at the center of some of them. They will supposedly try to move JD Drew who is “injury-prone” to put it kindly and Tino Martinez who drove in 20 runs after the All-Star Game last year. Good luck. Martinez will make $8M next year and Drew is eligible for arbitration and could lock in a goofy salary figure. One rumor mill said the Cards might be willing to trade Jim Edmonds on a cost basis since Edmonds will make over $11M per year for the next three years. That's a lot of money, but Edmonds is a significantly better player than either Drew or Martinez.

The Reds put Ryan Dempster on waivers with the purpose of giving him his unconditional release. I guess that means the Reds put Dempster in the dumpster.

The Big East Conference took off its “holier than thou” costume and raided Conference USA for five top basketball schools. I wonder if those nine US Senators that wrote letters to Big East University presidents telling them how awful it would be if their schools left the conference will jump into this activity. No, I guess not. Not enough publicity left in this issue. Concern about looking like hypocrites? Fugeddabouddit!!

Just for fun, I decided to try some anagrams for big names in the world of sports.

LeBron James = Learn Jobs, Me?

Steve Spurrier = Repressive Rut

Wow! That's enough anagram-fun for now. My fun-o-meter is maxed out in the red zone; I don't know about yours…

Finally, The NY Giants have a wide receiver named Willie Ponder. You just have to love a guy whose name is a complete sentence – and a question to boot.

But don't get me wrong, I love sports...

<< Back to the November Archive

= Home = Recent = Topical = Wagers =
= Archives = Pros = Scores = Contact =






		Sports Curmudgeon: 11/5/03

		Somebody once wrote a book called Kids Say The Darndest Things. Now perhaps we are moving toward a compilation of quotations from coaches that will be titled, Coaches Say The Dumbest Things. There will definitely be plenty of material. Look, I have two entries right here and I didn't have to go to the Richie Kotite archives yet Phil Jackson: “Kobe has always shown himself to be self-contained. Self-control has always been one of his biggest things.” Excuse me, but with just a modicum of self-control he would not have had to hire a bunch of Colorado lawyers. I take no position on what actually happened in that hotel room on that evening, but given his de minimis admission of “adultery”, it is clear that he did not exhibit sufficient “self-control” on that occasion. Bill Callahan (after the Raiders lost to the Lions): “You've got to give the Lions a lot of credit. They're a hell of a club.” The Lions – with their win over the Raiders – are now 2-6. Most folks don't think they are a “hell of a club”; most folks think they are the “club from Hell.” Bill Callahan's Raiders are showing signs of desperation. They just signed Rob Johnson who was cut by the Redskins and whose career seems to be that he had a couple of good games sometime in the past that no one can quite remember. If that sounds bleak, consider that if they did not sign Johnson, they could be looking at a run of games with four of the most frightening words in all of football, “starting quarterback, Rick Mirer. “ About 6 months ago, I said that I thought the Indy Colts would be the prime candidates to move to the LA market. Their lease on their stadium is up sooner than other teams have their leases expire and no one could possibly argue that Indy is a bigger and more attractive market than LA. In a recent column in the LA Times, T. J. Simers reported that Colts' owner, Jim Irsay, has recently applied for membership at Riviera golf Club in Pacific Palisades CA. Membership entry fee there is $200K. If someone in the Indy area wants to break a story, I'd suggest they develop sources within the moving van drivers' community. The Colts have this preferred way of leaving town… The Vikings and the Chargers are also teams that might try to move into the LA market. Interestingly, the Vikes and the Chargers play in San Diego this weekend. Imagine if the fire situation in the San Diego area were still a mess and this game had to be moved to another venue. Arizona is at home that day so the game can't go there. However, north in LA there is the Coliseum and the Rose Bowl which might have been venues for this game had it been “displaced”. That would have been ironic. I don't do much hockey stuff here because I am not nearly as focused on hockey as many other sports, but there are a few items floating out there that need comment. First of all, the Toronto Star had an article that said that nine teams in the NHL this year are averaging less than 14,000 fans per game. Early attendance figures show a league-wide decline. I suspect that the NHL Commissioner will not need to suggest “contraction” as part of the upcoming labor negotiations; there is likely to be “involuntary contraction”. Another wild card in the NHL labor negotiation saga could be the resurrection of the old World Hockey League if/when the NHL stops playing for a year. Supposedly, there are moves afoot to find potential arena venues for teams in the WHL just in case… During the playoffs last year, Jean-Sebastien Giguere was a media favorite. He was the “hot goalie” who “came up big between the pipes.” This season, “Giggy” is 1-6 and has saved less than 90% of the pucks that have come his way. That kind of performance could find him back in some minor league taking buses from Flin-Flon to Froze-To-Death-Lake if he isn't careful. I don't recall where I heard this so I can't attribute it properly, but someone said that a true conspiracy theorist would conclude that the Shaq/Kobe feud was not concocted to take the publicity focus off of Kobe's rape trial. Rather, it was concocted in NBA Headquarters to take the publicity focus off the beginning of the NHL season. That would be a hard sell even for Oliver Stone. I know that I will have this next thing explained to me in a patient and thorough manner by The NASCAR Babe, but here is something I just don't understand. Matt Kenseth has won one race this year but he is the leader in the Winston Cup Points Standings. Ryan Newman has won eight races and is fifth in the same standings. For those of us who do not understand the subtle nuances of NASCAR, it always seemed that winning races was what it was all about. Maybe not? Sounds like the people who drew up the scoring rules here were the same ones that concocted those clear and simple instructions that the Internal Revenue Service sends you every year. The NHL may be having attendance woes, but the Atlanta Hawks are not drawing flies. Already, they are playing to crowds announced as 5,683. Jeff Schultz in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution said: “For what it's worth, if the real turnstile count hit 1,000, Deion Sanders would make a great NBA coach too.” Some baseball trade rumors have surfaced and the St. Louis Cardinals are at the center of some of them. They will supposedly try to move JD Drew who is “injury-prone” to put it kindly and Tino Martinez who drove in 20 runs after the All-Star Game last year. Good luck. Martinez will make $8M next year and Drew is eligible for arbitration and could lock in a goofy salary figure. One rumor mill said the Cards might be willing to trade Jim Edmonds on a cost basis since Edmonds will make over $11M per year for the next three years. That's a lot of money, but Edmonds is a significantly better player than either Drew or Martinez. The Reds put Ryan Dempster on waivers with the purpose of giving him his unconditional release. I guess that means the Reds put Dempster in the dumpster. The Big East Conference took off its “holier than thou” costume and raided Conference USA for five top basketball schools. I wonder if those nine US Senators that wrote letters to Big East University presidents telling them how awful it would be if their schools left the conference will jump into this activity. No, I guess not. Not enough publicity left in this issue. Concern about looking like hypocrites? Fugeddabouddit!! Just for fun, I decided to try some anagrams for big names in the world of sports. Kobe Bryant = Bryant Be OK LeBron James = Learn Jobs, Me? Steve Spurrier = Repressive Rut Wow! That's enough anagram-fun for now. My fun-o-meter is maxed out in the red zone; I don't know about yours… Finally, The NY Giants have a wide receiver named Willie Ponder. You just have to love a guy whose name is a complete sentence – and a question to boot. But don't get me wrong, I love sports... << Back to the November Archive = Home = Recent = Topical = Wagers = = Archives = Pros = Scores = Contact =