Barring something really outrageous happening, this will be the final rant of the year. I have spent the past week or so with my kids and their lovely wives in a most enjoyable setting. Good food, good wine, good company. The time could not have been more enjoyable. You might think that it would add a touch of mellowness to this rant. It won't; and the reason that it won't is that there are just too many goofs out there in the world doing outrageous things that keep me on the edge. If the Holiday Season does not get them to pause in their activities, then I guess I won't put a limit on the stomach acid that I can generate.

Readers of these rants do not take off during the Holiday Season in terms of pointing out my obvious errors. In last week's Mythical Picks, I took the 76ers/Clippers game to go OVER. In typing it out for the document, I referred to it as the “Philly/San Diego” game. It took one reader about an hour to get the message back to me that the people of San Diego would probably be happy to have gotten the Clippers back as a Christmas gift. He was not the only one to let me know that I was a bonehead. So, there is no ban on snarkiness needed in this forum.

The Calgary Sun reported that a parent in a Minor Hockey Association is suing the association. It seems that he claims that the association conspired to put his son on an “inferior hockey team” within the association and that the league officials showed favoritism to their own kids by putting them on “superior teams” within the association. The suit seeks damages of $50,000.

Parents have said that if the suit is successful, they will no longer volunteer to coach teams within the association which means that if the suit is successful, the plaintiff's son will not be on an “inferior team” because there will be no teams at all. And what is the final piece of this story that makes it outrageous enough to merit a comment here? The teams in question are for 9-year-olds. Give me a break!!

I've told you many times before that I am not a lawyer and that I have never spent a day of my life in law school, but here is an idea that might appeal to me if I were the parent of one of the plaintiff's teammates. Why not file a suit against the plaintiff here for “defamation” - or whatever the appropriate legal term here is - for demeaning the abilities and capabilities of my son to play hockey. He has asserted that my son is “inferior” and that could be damaging to him psychologically and financially for the rest of his life.

Speaking of lawsuits, there is a guy in Cleveland who is suing LeBron James for $15M. He claims that James has reneged on a deal that they had which would have allowed the plaintiff here to make a documentary on James' life. I'm sorry but I don't get this one. LeBron James is 18 years old and has led as public a life as one could possibly lead for the last year. We saw him play high school basketball; we saw him drafted; we saw him in his Hummer; we saw him play rookie league games in the summer; we saw his NBA debut. So what important things about his life prior to his turning 17 would be riveting? What price would you fork over as a pay-per-view to see the 10-minute installment of this documentary called LeBron: Years 1-11? How can reneging on this deal – if in fact James actually did that - be worth $15M?

One final legal note if I may. Greg Anderson is the trainer/nutrition consultant/vitamin guru for Barry Bonds. When his house was searched – with a warrant to be sure – as part of the Balco “situation” authorities found a lot of things including $60K in cash. I just read a statement made by Anderson's attorney who said that his client is “an ordinary citizen … who lives modestly”. Obviously, I cannot search the homes of all of my friends and acquaintances, but I would be more than a little shocked to learn that ANY of them kept $60K in cash lounging around the house. How about you? What fraction of your “ordinary citizen” friends who live modestly keep that kind of scratch in their sock drawer? That few, huh?

In the final weeks of the NFL season you saw Brett Favre play football under obviously sub-optimal emotional conditions for him. With the sudden death of his father on his mind, he played two superb football games. During the same time period, you saw the injured Terrell Owens on the sidelines of a Niners' football game talking on his cell phone. So, which behavior qualifies as that of a “team leader”?

Memo to T.O.: Despite your obviously superior physical skills to play your position, it is still possible for you to be such a pain in the ass that you make yourself into a pariah. If you think I'm wrong, check out:

Quarterback/George/Jeff

If you wanted to see which NFL teams would just plain go “paws up” in the final week of the season, you had a great chance to preview that menu on Saturday night. In a nationally televised game, the Washington Redskins did just about everything they could to embarrass themselves other than wetting their pants. If that is what LaVar Arrington is going to bring with him to the field for the duration of his 8 year/$70M contract, then the team will be chained to the bottom of the swimming pool for a long time. No one showed up; no one played hard; no one gave a damn. For all the changing and hiring and firing that Danny Boy Snyder puffs himself up about, this team used to be a playoff team and now they have a top 10 draft pick. As long as he continues to be owner and GM and draft guru and talent scout, the team will be gathering up lots of top 10 draft picks.

On Sunday, the Rams were even more pathetic than the Redskins had been the night before. They led the Lions at halftime and then lost the second half to the Lions by a score of 20-0. Then the Giants gave one of the more uninspired performances of the year in the final game of the Jim Fassel era and then walked out of the locker room and said how much they loved and respected Fassel. Sorry guys, your performance was the reason he got fired. Last but not least, the Minnesota Vikings needed only to beat the Arizona Cardinals to make the playoffs. They led by two scores in the fourth quarter and then they did the football equivalent of farting in church and lost the game. The Vikes started out the season 6-0 and missed the playoffs. The last team to do that was the Redskins back in the Jack Pardee era.

Memo to Mike Tice: Jack Pardee did not last too much longer after that collapse…

Finally, instead of some snarky remark or a bad play on words to end this final rant of the year, let me give you something from Blackie Sherrod who retired after writing sports for more than 50 years. When asked about retirement, he said:

“It's like a steam bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.”

But don't get me wrong, I love sports...

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