Sports Curmudgeon

The Kentucky Derby is less than a week away and one of the potential favorites is a horse named Smarty Jones. This is a horse that traces his lineage – but not his genetics – to Philadelphia Park. I must confess that I have spent many days at this facility just north of Philly; in fact, I used to go there when it was called Keystone Park back when Willie Shakespeare was the racing writer in Philly. For those of you who may never have heard of Philadelphia Park, let me say that it is clearly among the junior varsity tracks in the country. Last year's Derby winner was Funny Cide and that gelding had a rags-to-riches story line that caught people's attention. If Smarty Jones wins this year, there will be another story of that kind.

By the way, if Cowboys' owner Jerry Jones owned a thoroughbred, wouldn't Smarty Jones be a great name for the horse? Now that I think of it, Smartass Jones would be even better… Horse racing in Pennsylvania is not top-shelf racing. The state government is toying with the idea of introducing slot machines in the state as a revenue raising measure and the state's racetracks would be among the facilities that would get slots. We can argue about the rectitude of slot machines and gambling in general all day. I do not like slot machines; I do not play slot machines; I find slot machines noisy and intrusive. I also know that slot machines make profits and that profit can be used to increase racing purses or reduce state government deficits. So the legislature and hizzoner the governor continue to ponder this weighty issue. But opponents of slots are already staking out their territory lest this become a real issue and not a theoretical one.

In Pittsburgh, some folks do not want any slot machines in an area of town that contains the two new sports stadiums. That's fine; they have every right to voice their opinions and to try to influence the decisions of their governing bodies. According to one Pittsburgh newspaper, the Steelers have tacitly sided with the folks who want to keep the slot machines out of that area. That's fine; the Steelers have every right to act as the citizens of the area do. But if the Steelers ever take any position on the matter that is akin to “slots are bad because they are gambling and gambling is bad and so we have to keep it away from our football venue”, then every member of the Steelers management and ownership should be carted off Hypocrite Haven. When the Steelers play at home and draw 70,000 fans (or whatever capacity is there), at least half the people in the stands have money riding on the game. So do at least half a million people in Western Pennsylvania. And when the Steelers play an away game, the same people have money riding on that game too. A significant portion of the popularity of the NFL, which allows the Steelers to have the clout to get the state to build them a new playpen, is based on the gambling that fans do the NFL games. Believe it. Deal with it.

By the way, slot machines are like state lotteries. They are taxes levied on people who were never able to understand mathematics and statistics.

You may recall that I said in an earlier rant that the NBA Eastern Conference should not have had eight teams in the playoffs because there were really only three good teams there. Well, might I now suggest that the 2003/2004 Boston Celtics may be the sorriest excuse for an NBA playoff team ever? Forget the fact that they were a significant winning streak away from being a .500 team for the year. Just look at the egg they laid in the playoffs. They lost four in a row – not unusual – but each loss was by double digits and not a single game was seriously in doubt in the fourth quarter.

Here's an idea; maybe the NBA should institute “bumping rights” for playoff slots. You can have eight teams from each conference seeded as they do now unless one or more teams are below .500 for the year. In that case, the team in the other conference who did not make the playoffs but who is at or above .500 can bump the team and take that seeding in the playoffs. Oh, by the way, while they are at it the NBA can play the games closer together in the early rounds. It is ridiculous to have even a remote possibility that one of these series could stretch out over 17 days when there are still three rounds of playoffs to go.

The Denver Nuggets selection of Carmelo Anthony has worked out pretty well for the team. But their top selection from last year seems to have fallen off the face of the earth. According to the team website, Nikoloz Tskitishvili (Skita to his friends) appeared in only 39 games this year and averaged 2.7 points 1.6 rebounds and 7.9 minutes per game. For second year stats, those are pretty miserable.

Hockey people often say that fighting is a fundamental part of the game and that fighting is actually a release valve that prevents assaults with sticks. Who knows? Other people assert that hockey fights are what draw fans and the NHL has to continue to allow fighting – while condemning it and appearing to crack down on it – because that' the only way to fill the seats. Maybe we'll have a test of that second hypothesis now. A new event is about to be staged called “Hockey Gladiators”. There will be no pretense here of pucks and nets and goals and assists and all that ancillary stuff. Two guys in full hockey regalia will skate to center ice and pummel each other for 90 seconds until one of them goes down or the judges will declare a winner at the end of the time. A 32 man “tournament” will be available on pay-per-view this summer from the Target Center in Minnesota. No current NHL players are scheduled to compete.

The WNBA draft was held just before the NFL draft – in case you missed it. I saw a small item that said that first selection by the Charlotte Sting, Nicole Powell, would play either point guard or power forward. I think I'm going to tune in a Charlotte Sting game just to see this person play.

Speaking of women's basketball, I also saw where the University of Tennessee will sell premium courtside tickets to its women's basketball games. You can have one of the prestigious front row seats for the season for a $40K donation to the university. I doubt that the Charlotte Sting – or any other WNBA team – would dare try to sell it front row tix for anything near that price. It would not look good to have the front row of seats vacant for just about every contest and it will look phony to put moms and Brownie Troops there more than once…

I've seen in more than a few places expressions of outrage that the NFL has not suspended Leonard Little after his DWI arrest. Calm down folks, he is still not convicted of DWI in this case and until he is the NFL and the St. Louis Rams and everyone else needs to hold their water. Keep repeating this in your head, “innocent until proven guilty in a court of law”.

Finally, the Atlanta Falcons moved quickly into the undrafted free agent market and acquired four players with alliterative names:

Meanwhile, the Pittsburgh Steelers countered with the alliterative name every team sought:

S Yaacov Yisrael But don't get me wrong, I love sports...

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		Sports Curmudgeon: 4/27/04

		The Kentucky Derby is less than a week away and one of the potential favorites is a horse named Smarty Jones. This is a horse that traces his lineage – but not his genetics – to Philadelphia Park. I must confess that I have spent many days at this facility just north of Philly; in fact, I used to go there when it was called Keystone Park back when Willie Shakespeare was the racing writer in Philly. For those of you who may never have heard of Philadelphia Park, let me say that it is clearly among the junior varsity tracks in the country. Last year's Derby winner was Funny Cide and that gelding had a rags-to-riches story line that caught people's attention. If Smarty Jones wins this year, there will be another story of that kind. By the way, if Cowboys' owner Jerry Jones owned a thoroughbred, wouldn't Smarty Jones be a great name for the horse? Now that I think of it, Smartass Jones would be even better… Horse racing in Pennsylvania is not top-shelf racing. The state government is toying with the idea of introducing slot machines in the state as a revenue raising measure and the state's racetracks would be among the facilities that would get slots. We can argue about the rectitude of slot machines and gambling in general all day. I do not like slot machines; I do not play slot machines; I find slot machines noisy and intrusive. I also know that slot machines make profits and that profit can be used to increase racing purses or reduce state government deficits. So the legislature and hizzoner the governor continue to ponder this weighty issue. But opponents of slots are already staking out their territory lest this become a real issue and not a theoretical one. In Pittsburgh, some folks do not want any slot machines in an area of town that contains the two new sports stadiums. That's fine; they have every right to voice their opinions and to try to influence the decisions of their governing bodies. According to one Pittsburgh newspaper, the Steelers have tacitly sided with the folks who want to keep the slot machines out of that area. That's fine; the Steelers have every right to act as the citizens of the area do. But if the Steelers ever take any position on the matter that is akin to “slots are bad because they are gambling and gambling is bad and so we have to keep it away from our football venue”, then every member of the Steelers management and ownership should be carted off Hypocrite Haven. When the Steelers play at home and draw 70,000 fans (or whatever capacity is there), at least half the people in the stands have money riding on the game. So do at least half a million people in Western Pennsylvania. And when the Steelers play an away game, the same people have money riding on that game too. A significant portion of the popularity of the NFL, which allows the Steelers to have the clout to get the state to build them a new playpen, is based on the gambling that fans do the NFL games. Believe it. Deal with it. By the way, slot machines are like state lotteries. They are taxes levied on people who were never able to understand mathematics and statistics. You may recall that I said in an earlier rant that the NBA Eastern Conference should not have had eight teams in the playoffs because there were really only three good teams there. Well, might I now suggest that the 2003/2004 Boston Celtics may be the sorriest excuse for an NBA playoff team ever? Forget the fact that they were a significant winning streak away from being a .500 team for the year. Just look at the egg they laid in the playoffs. They lost four in a row – not unusual – but each loss was by double digits and not a single game was seriously in doubt in the fourth quarter. Here's an idea; maybe the NBA should institute “bumping rights” for playoff slots. You can have eight teams from each conference seeded as they do now unless one or more teams are below .500 for the year. In that case, the team in the other conference who did not make the playoffs but who is at or above .500 can bump the team and take that seeding in the playoffs. Oh, by the way, while they are at it the NBA can play the games closer together in the early rounds. It is ridiculous to have even a remote possibility that one of these series could stretch out over 17 days when there are still three rounds of playoffs to go. The Denver Nuggets selection of Carmelo Anthony has worked out pretty well for the team. But their top selection from last year seems to have fallen off the face of the earth. According to the team website, Nikoloz Tskitishvili (Skita to his friends) appeared in only 39 games this year and averaged 2.7 points 1.6 rebounds and 7.9 minutes per game. For second year stats, those are pretty miserable. Hockey people often say that fighting is a fundamental part of the game and that fighting is actually a release valve that prevents assaults with sticks. Who knows? Other people assert that hockey fights are what draw fans and the NHL has to continue to allow fighting – while condemning it and appearing to crack down on it – because that' the only way to fill the seats. Maybe we'll have a test of that second hypothesis now. A new event is about to be staged called “Hockey Gladiators”. There will be no pretense here of pucks and nets and goals and assists and all that ancillary stuff. Two guys in full hockey regalia will skate to center ice and pummel each other for 90 seconds until one of them goes down or the judges will declare a winner at the end of the time. A 32 man “tournament” will be available on pay-per-view this summer from the Target Center in Minnesota. No current NHL players are scheduled to compete. The WNBA draft was held just before the NFL draft – in case you missed it. I saw a small item that said that first selection by the Charlotte Sting, Nicole Powell, would play either point guard or power forward. I think I'm going to tune in a Charlotte Sting game just to see this person play. Speaking of women's basketball, I also saw where the University of Tennessee will sell premium courtside tickets to its women's basketball games. You can have one of the prestigious front row seats for the season for a $40K donation to the university. I doubt that the Charlotte Sting – or any other WNBA team – would dare try to sell it front row tix for anything near that price. It would not look good to have the front row of seats vacant for just about every contest and it will look phony to put moms and Brownie Troops there more than once… I've seen in more than a few places expressions of outrage that the NFL has not suspended Leonard Little after his DWI arrest. Calm down folks, he is still not convicted of DWI in this case and until he is the NFL and the St. Louis Rams and everyone else needs to hold their water. Keep repeating this in your head, “innocent until proven guilty in a court of law”. Finally, the Atlanta Falcons moved quickly into the undrafted free agent market and acquired four players with alliterative names: CB Curome Cox G Rodney Reed LB Roderick Royal OT Steve Stewart Meanwhile, the Pittsburgh Steelers countered with the alliterative name every team sought: S Yaacov Yisrael But don't get me wrong, I love sports... << Back to the April Archives = Home = Recent = Topical = Wagers = = Archives = Pros = Scores = Contact =