In last night's Washington/Tennessee game, there was an interchange between Dennis Miller and Melissa Starks that some people are concocting into a controversy. Believe me, in a battle of wits between Dennis Miller and Melissa Starks, Missy brought a knife to a gunfight! Melissa was interviewing Adam Sandler on the sidelines (Aside: Can you name three people less important to be on the sidelines of an NFL game than Adam Sandler other than Queen Elizabeth?) Anyway, Melissa asked Adam what he thought about comedians "moonlighting" as football analysts. I have some very serious issues about air-heads "moonlighting and masquerading" as sideline reporters and I will include Eric Dickerson and Melissa Starks as Exhibits A and B. Each time they come on camera, I sense that each has used mental floss.

In the "pre-Halloween game" in Washington, there were a bunch of people who showed up as Elvis. I am reminded that someone once observed - absolutely correctly - that all of the Elvis impersonators look like each other and none of them look like Elvis. Certainly held true last night.

Now that we are about halfway through the NFL season, I guess it is time to look for the team that has overachieved relative to its prospects at the beginning of the year. I think the Minnesota Vikings are clearly the winner of that overachievement award. And Duante Culpepper has to be the most positively surprising player. The biggest underachievers have to be the Tampa Bay Bucs. Four losses was about what was expected at the end of the season and not by Halloween. But both will be in the playoffs unless one of them really takes it to the tank in the second half of the season.

Speaking of Duante Culpepper, he does have a jinx to live down. He won his first seven starts in the NFL and only two QBs before him have done that. They were - hold your breath here and dig deep into your memory banks - Mike Tomczak and Dieter Brock. Despite winning their first seven games, I feel safe in saying that Mike and Dieter will get into the Football Hall of Fame right after they purchase tickets at the counter…

Tony Kornheiser took a shot at Brian Billick's status as a "certified offensive genius" by pointing out that in the last two years, Billick has signed Scott Mitchell, Tony Banks and Trent Dilfer. Kornheiser says his dog is a better QB than those three and that is simply not true - except for Mitchell. Well, Billick was the QB coach/offensive coordinator when Brad Johnson was in Minnesota and Johnson's contract is up this year and negotiations have not gone well between the Skins and Johnson's agent. Maybe Billick will get a better buy next time around???

The Rams are 7-1 but are not the team they were last season. They have 4 different OL with knee/ankle/foot injuries and they lost two OL to free agency over the winter. Marshall Faulk has a "slightly separated shoulder" and Kurt warner is out 4 weeks with a pin inserted in his broken pinkie. On defense, the injury to Demarco Farr hurt them on and off the field because of his leadership and work ethic. Both Todd Lyght and Kevin Carter have been taken out of the starting line-up and both were Pro-Bowl players last year. Carter was fined and benched earlier in the season. Interestingly, both Carter and Lyght are seeking contract renegotiations or extensions. Hmmmmm…

Brian Griese was clocked at 80 mph in a 65 mph zone and then he flunked the "breathalyzer" and was arrested for DUI. Instead of having a lawyer, public relations firm and animated suit dummy issue statements and denials for him, Griese did the right thing. He said he took responsibility for his actions and that he would "stand up, take it like a man, and go on from there." Somebody needs to check for pods under the beds in the Griese household because this is not the behavior of the modern athlete/celebrity who has appropriated a heretofore unarticulated right to act like a certified sociopath whenever he/she damned well feels like it.

The Chargers have extended the contract of Junior Seau for 5 more years at about $6M per year. I think that Seau has been in the league for 10 years now and so at the end of this contract he will be about 37 years old and in his 15th year. No question that Seau is worth the money to the Chargers now and probably for the next couple of years, but the final years of this contract could be a tad over his "market value".

A week ago, Tony Brackens was penalized and ejected from the Jax/Washington game for kicking Jay Leuwenberg. Later in the week, he was fined $10K by the league. Some people have tried to make this situation analogous to Roger Clemens and the "bat incident" in the World Series. Problem is, that the analogy is really tenuous and the best thing to do is to drop it like a bad habit.

Something else about the World Series that needs to be dropped like a bad habit is FOX TV's maniacal addiction to close-up face shots. Enough already. The only thing les interesting is when they pan to the crowd to find some FOX TV sitcom star in the stands ordering a hotdog and pretending that they actually give a rat's ass about the game. But when you have 4 hours of program time to fill, what else can you show in a baseball stadium?

For all the details, you can go to the online version of the Washington Post and read Sally Jenkins column about the silliness of women "reporters" from that ghastly show The View going onto the field during the pre-game warm-ups for the World Series and asking "suggestive questions" to Mike Piazza such as "Which player on the Mets has the biggest bat?" The reporter blowing the whistle on this nonsense was none other than Lisa Olsen who has been reincarnated as a columnist in New York after a stint in Australia to get her life and career back together. Olsen was the women who was harassed in the New England Patriots locker room and then vilified by then-owner Victor Kiam after the fact. All I will say is that double standards exist all over the place in our society and it never feels good to be on the short end of the stick. And the comment about "the biggest bat" reminds me of something I said about two years ago when Bob Dole became the spokesperson for Viagra. I suggested a better spokesperson would have been Mark McGwire and the slogan could have been: "Look what this guy can do with his bat!"

As the NBA season is about to start, ESPN has eleven expert analysts who have made predictions for the season. Only three of the eleven have the Lakers participating in the championship series and only five of the eleven pick the Lakers to win the western conference. San Antonio will be much improved; Portland is a lot more physical than last year. But until someone shows that they can stop the Lakers in crunch time, the Lakers have to beaten on the court and not by expert analysts.

One of the talking heads on FOX Sports Network was making his own season predictions and said that he thought the rookie of the year would be Cory Alexander (Denver) because Cory had learned from Jerry Tarkanian a style of play that was compatible with the NBA and that Cory was a "natural scorer". Yesterday, Denver waived Cory Alexander making rookie of the year status a bit more difficult to achieve.

Jay Leno was commenting on Allen Iverson's rap album and said that the real motivation behind the Lakers' giving Shaq such a huge new contract was to make Shaq so rich that he would not even think of making another rap album. Maybe not a bad idea…

Word is that Rick Down has the inside track to become the new Dodgers' manager. So before Chris Berman can get around to it, here are some natural nicknames: Rick Down "and Dirty", Rick "Things Are Looking" Down, Rick "Goose' Down, Rick Down "Under", Rick "Get" Down. The PR people in Dodger-land have to be hoping for this guy to get the job.

The Dodgers had two of their pitchers file for free agency yesterday. Darren Driefort filed and I have said before that he might be the best bargain out there in the marketplace. Ismael Valdes also filed and that event falls in the category of "So what!"

The Diamondbacks have lured Bob Brenley out of their broadcasting booth to be their manager. He will get $2M per year for 3 years with a 4th year option sitting in the hands of the D-backs.

The eligibility list for the Pro Football Hall of Fame inductees for next year is out. Glancing at the list, I was surprised to see Ron Yary's name there and Ray Guy's name there. I would have guessed that both had already been inducted but both have been eligible for a while and had not been voted in. Also on the list, I saw the name of a DT, Jerry Sherk. Who is he?

Under the category of "Contributors to the game" there are some interesting names eligible for the Football Hall of Fame. I think that Las Vegas would make Eddie DeBartolo Jr. a real longshot; if elected, Art Modell might need to give his speech encased in the "Popemobile" given the proximity of Canton to Cleveland; Jim Tunney has been the architect of the "cloned referees" in the NFL and was deeply involved in the controversy that led Ben Dreith to file an age discrimination suit against the league. None of these folks belongs on the list - let alone in the Hall.

Finally, Buffalo University has decided to fire its football coach effective at the end of this season. Craig Cirbus will be looking for work soon. My question is why fire him now? There are games still to play and this early announcement seems to have no point. Unless of course, the athletic department expects a stampede of coaches seeking the job because of the rich tradition at Buffalo U and the wonderful weather in Buffalo itself. In that case, they need to start the queue for interviews soon so that they can pick from the hundreds of candidates before the beginning of spring practice - which in Buffalo would be July 13th…

But don't get me wrong, I love sports...