Sports Curmudgeon

So, have you had enough of the Super Bowl pre-game nonsense yet? I'll try not to use any of that stuff in here today just so you can consider this rant a safe haven from the repetitious pabulum you have been hearing for the last 10 days. It makes me feel as if I just got a shot of Novocain in my cerebrum…

Yogi Berra is suing TBS for an ad that network ran in order to promote its reruns of Sex And The City. In one ad, there is a bus on the street with an “advertisement” on the bus asks for the definition of a “Yogasm”. The choices are:

Fortunately, someone told me that the correct answer is (c) because I've never seen the show and “Yogasm” is just goofy enough to be one of the famous Yogi Berra manglings of the English language. However, that silly question is now the subject of a $10M suit brought by Berra claiming that it is defamatory and it is hurtful and it is antithetical to his character. The suit says that Berra “is a deeply religious man who has maintained and continues to maintain a moral lifestyle and has a spotless reputation for integrity, decency and moral character.” Let me say this about that:

2. Is he now trying to establish a spotless reputation for being an overly sensitive prig with zero sense of humor?

3. Why not make this a class action suit on behalf of everyone who had to be exposed to that “joke” for its lack of funniness?

4. If the joke is so hurtful, why sue over it so it can be told and repeated over and over again to more and more people?

Here's an item from ananova.com that is a bit unusual. A referee in an English League soccer match called off the game in the second half. This had nothing to do with rowdy fans or abusive players or coaches; the reason is that he threw himself out of the game. It seems as if the referee started an argument with a player from one side; and for that, he tossed himself out of the game saying afterwards, “It was totally unprofessional. If a player did that, I would send him off, so I had to go.” The local FA association is reviewing the referee's position. I would think so.

British sportscaster, Rodney Marsh was fired by SkySports for making a joke about the tsunami that hit South East Asia in December. To understand what he said, you have to know that fans of the Newcastle team are known as the “Toon Army”. Marsh said that he had heard that David Beckham had turned down a trade to Newcastle because Beckham had heard about the trouble with the “Toon Army in Asia” BaDaBing! BaDaBoom!! For that he was fired.

SkySports called the remarks “offensive and inexcusable”. Marsh apologized saying he was trying for a football joke but that his comment was “thoughtless and inappropriate.” Obviously, the tsunami was a major disaster and it caused tremendous suffering in that part of the world; but this hand wringing and hypersensitivity is a bit overdone, in my opinion. I guess I will now forfeit any minuscule chance I may ever have had at landing a gig with SkySports because I'm going to say that all of these folks just need to learn to go with the flow.

You may remember that I told you about the study at the University of Calgary seeking to identify the underlying reasons why women flashed their breasts to Calgary Flames fans last year. I poked some fun at that study. In retrospect, I may have been a bit hasty. Perhaps there is some critically important understanding of the human condition that might emerge from such a scholarly pursuit. It is possible that interviews and tests administered to these women would further our understanding of Homo sapiens as a species. And to that end, I would like to atone for my insensitivity by offering to assist in the furtherance of this potentially groundbreaking investigation.

I am hereby volunteering to aid in the quality assurance of the data collection process in the following way. I will be happy to examine detailed photos of the breasts those women flashed at the crowds and then use the photographs as a match to verify that the women who come in for interviews have the same breasts that were exposed last year. We can't have any “pretenders” in the interview pool, can we? I know that this will be a difficult and potentially thankless task, but for the advancement of science, I'm willing to do my part…

Former NY Giants linebacker, Harry Carson, wrote a letter to the Pro Football Hall of Fame and asked that his name be removed from any future ballots for induction into the Hall of Fame. Carson is upset/angry/bitter/whatever that he has not been inducted already and evidently wants no part of this process in the future. Now here is the potential for an interesting situation. Suppose for just a moment that the Hall of Fame ignores his request and puts him on next year's ballot and the people who do the voting decide to vote him in. Now:

2. Could he seek injunctive relief to prevent the Hall of Fame from using his likeness and his achievements as part of their exhibits?

3. Would he have a sudden change of heart about the appropriateness of the processes and the wisdom of the panel?

Finally, John Jordan is the basketball coach at Statesville Christian High School in North Carolina (probably somewhere near Charlotte since I saw this in the Charlotte Observer). Jordan left his star player, Zygis Sestokas, in for the entire game to score 76 points in a 117-32 blowout win over Covenant Day School. Jordan said that at halftime he told an assistant coach that he was worried about “sportsmanship and our Christian testimony” with regard to Sestokas play and the score of the game. The assistant purportedly replied:

“It would be more of a sin to hold back a kid who is having the night he's having.”

Even though North Carolina is a “red state”, that comment demonstrates a level of rationalization and a degree of language parsing that can only be called “Clintonian” in its magnitude.

But don't get me wrong, I love sports...

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		Sports Curmudgeon: 2/3/05

		So, have you had enough of the Super Bowl pre-game nonsense yet? I'll try not to use any of that stuff in here today just so you can consider this rant a safe haven from the repetitious pabulum you have been hearing for the last 10 days. It makes me feel as if I just got a shot of Novocain in my cerebrum… Yogi Berra is suing TBS for an ad that network ran in order to promote its reruns of Sex And The City. In one ad, there is a bus on the street with an “advertisement” on the bus asks for the definition of a “Yogasm”. The choices are: a. a type of yo-yo trick b. sex with Yogi Berra c. what Samantha has with a guy from yoga class? Fortunately, someone told me that the correct answer is (c) because I've never seen the show and “Yogasm” is just goofy enough to be one of the famous Yogi Berra manglings of the English language. However, that silly question is now the subject of a $10M suit brought by Berra claiming that it is defamatory and it is hurtful and it is antithetical to his character. The suit says that Berra “is a deeply religious man who has maintained and continues to maintain a moral lifestyle and has a spotless reputation for integrity, decency and moral character.” Let me say this about that: 1. It is good to know that Yogi Berra is still alive and well. 2. Is he now trying to establish a spotless reputation for being an overly sensitive prig with zero sense of humor? 3. Why not make this a class action suit on behalf of everyone who had to be exposed to that “joke” for its lack of funniness? 4. If the joke is so hurtful, why sue over it so it can be told and repeated over and over again to more and more people? Here's an item from ananova.com that is a bit unusual. A referee in an English League soccer match called off the game in the second half. This had nothing to do with rowdy fans or abusive players or coaches; the reason is that he threw himself out of the game. It seems as if the referee started an argument with a player from one side; and for that, he tossed himself out of the game saying afterwards, “It was totally unprofessional. If a player did that, I would send him off, so I had to go.” The local FA association is reviewing the referee's position. I would think so. British sportscaster, Rodney Marsh was fired by SkySports for making a joke about the tsunami that hit South East Asia in December. To understand what he said, you have to know that fans of the Newcastle team are known as the “Toon Army”. Marsh said that he had heard that David Beckham had turned down a trade to Newcastle because Beckham had heard about the trouble with the “Toon Army in Asia” BaDaBing! BaDaBoom!! For that he was fired. SkySports called the remarks “offensive and inexcusable”. Marsh apologized saying he was trying for a football joke but that his comment was “thoughtless and inappropriate.” Obviously, the tsunami was a major disaster and it caused tremendous suffering in that part of the world; but this hand wringing and hypersensitivity is a bit overdone, in my opinion. I guess I will now forfeit any minuscule chance I may ever have had at landing a gig with SkySports because I'm going to say that all of these folks just need to learn to go with the flow. You may remember that I told you about the study at the University of Calgary seeking to identify the underlying reasons why women flashed their breasts to Calgary Flames fans last year. I poked some fun at that study. In retrospect, I may have been a bit hasty. Perhaps there is some critically important understanding of the human condition that might emerge from such a scholarly pursuit. It is possible that interviews and tests administered to these women would further our understanding of Homo sapiens as a species. And to that end, I would like to atone for my insensitivity by offering to assist in the furtherance of this potentially groundbreaking investigation. I am hereby volunteering to aid in the quality assurance of the data collection process in the following way. I will be happy to examine detailed photos of the breasts those women flashed at the crowds and then use the photographs as a match to verify that the women who come in for interviews have the same breasts that were exposed last year. We can't have any “pretenders” in the interview pool, can we? I know that this will be a difficult and potentially thankless task, but for the advancement of science, I'm willing to do my part… Former NY Giants linebacker, Harry Carson, wrote a letter to the Pro Football Hall of Fame and asked that his name be removed from any future ballots for induction into the Hall of Fame. Carson is upset/angry/bitter/whatever that he has not been inducted already and evidently wants no part of this process in the future. Now here is the potential for an interesting situation. Suppose for just a moment that the Hall of Fame ignores his request and puts him on next year's ballot and the people who do the voting decide to vote him in. Now: 1. Can he sue the Hall of Fame for using his name – and his persona – in a way that he directed them not to use it? 2. Could he seek injunctive relief to prevent the Hall of Fame from using his likeness and his achievements as part of their exhibits? 3. Would he have a sudden change of heart about the appropriateness of the processes and the wisdom of the panel? Finally, John Jordan is the basketball coach at Statesville Christian High School in North Carolina (probably somewhere near Charlotte since I saw this in the Charlotte Observer). Jordan left his star player, Zygis Sestokas, in for the entire game to score 76 points in a 117-32 blowout win over Covenant Day School. Jordan said that at halftime he told an assistant coach that he was worried about “sportsmanship and our Christian testimony” with regard to Sestokas play and the score of the game. The assistant purportedly replied: “It would be more of a sin to hold back a kid who is having the night he's having.” Even though North Carolina is a “red state”, that comment demonstrates a level of rationalization and a degree of language parsing that can only be called “Clintonian” in its magnitude. But don't get me wrong, I love sports... << Back to the February Archives = Home = Recent = Topical = Wagers = = Archives = Pros = Scores = Contact =