With the weekend approaching and basketball games on the menu, I will necessarily be assaulted with CBS promos for the Masters – a tradition unlike any other… The Masters must have taken its name from the fact that the organizers intended to use this slogan from the beginning thereby making them The Masters of the Obvious. Every tradition is unlike every other tradition - - or the traditions in question would be the same thing. Only an idiot would think that the tradition of The Masters would be the same as the tradition of the Kentucky Derby. Their slogan is silly; imagine if I said, “Hippopotami, animals unlike any other.” Your response to something like that ought to be, “And your point would be what?…” Nevertheless, thinking about The Masters got me to thinking about some of the silliness that has been ongoing in the world of golf. I haven't mentioned golf very much recently; but rest assured, the golf goofs are alive and well.
I read a report somewhere – I don't recall where so I can't give you the proper citation here – about a conspiracy of Oliver Stone proportion that just may be afoot in the golf world. The “reasoning” goes like this. The PGA television contracts are up for renewal. At the moment, the TV deal brought in just under $900M since it went into effect – on the order of $220M per year. Golf was a huge TV success when this contract was being negotiated because Tiger Woods was in the process of completing his “Tiger Slam”. Golf ratings at the moment are not as high as they were then but they consistently spike whenever Tiger Woods is well positioned on the leader board – particularly in majors. So, the conspiracy theory has it that Tiger Woods is being given a pass by the PGA and is using “souped up equipment” to be sure that he is on TV and competing for tournament championships more than once in a while this year. And the conspirators are convinced that he will win The Masters and at least one more major this year to goose up the ratings and the TV revenues. Next year, his equipment will be given the same scrutiny as everyone else's, but by then, the deal will have gone into effect.
Do I believe that stuff? Absolutely not! Here's the reason. I do not doubt for a moment that the people who run the PGA are venal and addicted to the revenues generated by their game. And I don't think they are the brightest lights in the firmament either. But if they were involved in any kind of conspiracy like this, they would be risking the entirety of the public's fascination with the game. If there were even a glimmer of a chance that a golf tournament had been “fixed” or “set up” in any way, the backlash would be devastating. So, much as I think that the golf goofs are exactly that – goofs – I can't believe they could be that moronic.
The PGA folks have banned “appearance fees” for their events in the past. In foreign venues, appearance fees are commonplace. IMG represents lots of golfers – they even put on some of the made-for-TV pseudo-golf events – and IMG would like to get their clients appearance fees for US events. IMG told the PGA that if their clients would be paid for showing up on Monday or Tuesday to play in the sponsor golf outings that are associated with many of the tournaments, then their clients would be more disposed to hang around and play in that tournament. That is not exactly an “appearance fee” but it comes very close to it. That's not exactly extortion either, but it smells like it. The PGA needs to resist this kind of thing; and if it needs a model for how a sport can be ruined by the prevalence of appearance fees, all it has to do is look at tennis.
Here in the DC area, there is a tennis tournament every summer. The weather is almost always beastly and only a couple of the major players find the time to come here to play – and to take the appearance money. It is absolutely amazing how many times these top players get upset in the first or second round of that tournament and leave town quickly. I'm sure they have checked to be sure the appearance fee check did not bounce; but as soon as they know that, they seem to be catching a cab to the airport. Now look at the popularity of tennis as a TV sport and check what revenues its TV rights command. That is where golf could be headed if players can earn a quick $100K to play in the sponsor golf outing on Tuesday so that it has already been a profitable week even before they take their first tournament tee shot on Thursday.
The USGA has also been in the news recently. It will follow the lead of other golf governing bodies with regard to the eligibility of transgender golfers. Frankly, I could care less where transgender golfers play and under what conditions they are going to play golf, but I do have to wonder about the new USGA ruling/policy. They say “…transgender athletes will be eligible to compete two years after having gender reassignment surgery, subject to certain proof of gender guidelines.” I do not know what “proof of gender guidelines” might be, but I know for absolute certain that I do not want to be the person who has to determine with certainty that the gender reassignment surgery has been completed. I'm shuddering just thinking about that task.
After the Cleveland Cavaliers fired Paul Silas last week, that left the NBA with only 4 coaches who have been with the same team for more than 21 months. And one of those long-tenured coaches is Rick Adelman in Sacramento and I wouldn't say that he was a shoo-in to stay there a whole lot longer.
A couple of weeks ago, I wondered aloud here if the Lakers would finish ahead of the Clippers this year. They were 4.5 games ahead of the Clips at the time; according to my newspaper this morning, they are now ahead by only 1.5 games. The Lakers appear to be in a free-fall and seem to have no chance of making the playoffs. Amazingly, the Lakers have been in the playoffs every year since 1976 with the exception of one season – in 1994. That will likely put the Lakers and the Knicks in the NBA draft lottery at the same time this year. Now if you want to hear some conspiracy theories, just let the ping-pong balls give the overall first pick to either of those teams…
The Mets acquired pitcher, Kazuhisa Ishii, from the Dodgers and so it was not too surprising for the New York Post to talk to the Dodgers' pitching coach about Ishii. This is pretty standard fare and leads to the usual story about how hard a worker the guy is and how a change of venue will certainly do him good and all that pabulum. Interestingly, the Dodgers' pitching coach said something that might lead you to believe that he is not shedding any crocodile tears over this trade. When asked what pitch Ishii had the most trouble with, his answer was “Strikes.” A quick check of Ishii's MLB stats shows that he averages 5.8 walks for every 9 innings pitched. So I guess he does have a problem with “strikes”.
Finally, here's a spring training observation from Jim Armstrong in the Denver Post:
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“Great news out of the Cardinals' camp. Pitcher-turned-outfielder Rick Ankiel is hitting .333 on his throws to the cutoff man…”
But don't get me wrong, I love sports...
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