Don’t worry; this is not going to be one of those sappy end-of-year retrospectives. Nevertheless, I have to begin by saying that as 2007 draws to a close there is a disturbing trend emerging in the sports world. So, let me set the stage and then pose a troubling question for you to ponder as you sit back and pretend to be interested in the minor college bowl games on TV this week.
In 2007, we learned of the content of Mitchell Report, which gives more credence to José Canseco’s assertions of rampant steroid use/abuse in baseball.
In 2007, we learned that one of the NBA’s referees had close and continuing ties to gamblers involved in organized crime. Additionally, we learned that about half of the NBA’s referees blew off the clause in their contract that forbids them to enter gambling casinos/establishments.
In 2007, we went through the totality of the Michael Vick debacle/ruination with regard to dogfighting.
There is a common thread to those three situations. All three happened in major sports leagues where the league itself maintains a significant administrative staff to assure that all is right within the leagues. All three leagues have large – and vaunted – security staffs who have two important purposes – albeit not ones spelled out directly in their mission statements because these reasons don’t come out all that well when translated into “management-speak”:
1. Make sure the games are on the up-and-up so the league doesn’t look like pro ‘rassling – - no fixed games, no tilted playing fields. The only people who should be crying out about conspiracy theories are the ones who are also wearing tinfoil hats to prevent their minds from being controlled by the “thought beams” from the Mother Ship hovering out there behind the dark side of the moon.
2. Make sure the league knows in advance of any happenings that could cause a PR nightmare – criminal or otherwise. As Andre Agassi said in his commercials, “Image is everything.”
So, can someone explain to me how these crack security staffs failed to have a hint about the illegal purchases and shipments of steroids/HGH to players in the clubhouses or about Tim Donaghy’s multi-year association with gamblers tied to organized crime and the flaunting of the “no casino rules” by other officials or about how a star QB was a central figure in a dogfighting ring? The commissioners of all those leagues stand up and tell us about the expertise and the acumen of their security people and how they used to work for the FBI and the CIA and the DEA and all that stuff.
So, can anyone tell me how these folks missed all of this”?
Oh, and while you are at it, can someone tell me why these folks are still employed?
The disturbing trend here goes beyond the demonstrated incompetence of these Keystone Kops; they make Inspector Clouseau look like Sherlock Holmes’ mentor. I’m not one of those folks who believe that by changing processes and procedures an organization automatically gets better; I believe that a core level of competence has to exist in the organization first before “process change” and “innovation facilitation” and all that happy-face stuff can make even a marginal difference. Sadly, nothing that has transpired in the NFL, NBA or MLB security world in 2007 gives me the feeling that such a core level of competence actually exists.
Since I’m speaking about people of questionable competence maintaining their positions, here is another point to ponder:
Suppose George Steinbrenner owned the Knicks. How long would Isiah Thomas have kept his job?
Enough negativity – - for the moment. My mom always told me that if I didn’t have something nice to say I should keep quiet. OK, let me try to say something nice here:
Al Gore isn’t as fat as he used to be.
In sports, lots of people spend time pondering the best teams of all time in various sports. Here in Curmudgeon Central, the focus is to look for all time losers and an item in a recent Philadelphia Inquirer gives us an entrant in the “Descent to the Depths”. A racehorse named Dona Chepa has raced its entire career at what used to be called El Commandante racetrack in San Juan, Puerto Rico. Dona Chepa has been to the gate 128 times in her career; Dona Chepa has lost 128 times in her career. There is an old horseracing adage that a good strategy for winning a race is to go to the front and then continue to improve your position. Dona Chepa’s exercise rider says that her style of running is to get behind the pace and then fall back … and back … and back.
In 2004, Dona Chepa started 15 races and earned exactly zero money. Remember, the horse that finishes fifth in a race gets a trivial percentage of the purse so that gives you an idea where Dona Chepa ran in those 15 races. Only twice in her career has she been within 10 lengths of the winning horse. And in one race at 5 ½ furlongs, she once finished more than 35 lengths behind the winner. That’s very difficult to imagine in such a short race – unless she was pulling a hay wagon. Yowza!!
Finally:
In 2004, London’s Metropolitan Police Authority announced that it would refer to black people in police reports as “visible ethnic minorities”.
Then in 2005, the same London Metropolitan Police Authority announced that it would cease to use the phrase “visible ethnic minorities” and replace it with “black and minority ethnic people”.
We haven’t heard anything along this line from the London Metropolitan Police authority in the past two years. Therefore, may I conclude that they are now focusing more on preventing crime and catching criminals than the phraseology of their reports? I would hope so.
But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…