If you have not already filed your income tax returns, you should not be reading this until you do so. Don’t be one of those goofs who make it to the post office at 11:45 PM tonight to get the envelope postmarked properly for tax filing. And while you are at it, don’t be one of the dopes who watch the coverage of those procrastinating dopes on your local TV news stations. It is no longer news – and it never was interesting – that some people are dumb enough to procrastinate until late on the 14th of April to do something they have to do.
In a way, I am glad that Tiger Woods lost the Masters. I bear him no animus; he is clearly the best golfer in the world and an athlete who possesses more than his share of grace and dignity. However, the incessant chatter about whether or not he could/would win the Grand Slam this year just because he said that was his professional objective for the year had gotten way beyond tedious already. At least we will not have to hear about that topic again until after the golf season is over when some reporter will obviously ask Tiger if his objective is to try to do that next year. Wait for it; someone will ask. What the hell do you think his range of potential answers might be…?
Since I mentioned golf, let me observe that there may be a tectonic shift underway in the world of professional golf. For all of the time that I have followed sports, the US golf tournaments have been the focus for pro golfers from around the world. Three of golf’s four “majors” are here and the “ordinary tournaments” on the PGA Tour have been much more lucrative than tournaments elsewhere that the top golfers have sought to play here. That may not continue to be the case.
Golf is becoming more popular in developing nations and has drawn some very wealthy backers. Next year, the Dubai Championship will offer $10M in purse money; do not be surprised to see a few of the top American golfers adjust their schedules to play in that event. Moreover, with more deep pockets for financial backing for tournaments abroad, do not be surprised to see large appearance fees spread around to golfers other than just the top two or three players. [There are reports that Tiger Woods received a $3M appearance fee to play in the Dubai Desert Classic last February. I don’t know if that is true; only the IRS does.]
It may be a while before a single geographic area overseas has a golf tour that surpasses the PGA Tour, but taken as a whole, international tournaments in Qatar, Dubai, Singapore, India and Japan could become viable competitors to American tour stops.
[Tax Day Interlude: Intaxication is that feeling of euphoria that you get when you receive your tax refund - - lasting only until you realize it was your money in the first place and the government held it for a year at no interest.]
Around the NBA trade deadline, there were four “big trades”. When the Lakers acquired Pau Gasol and got rid of Kwame Brown at the same time, I said that was a miraculous deal for them. I still wonder if Lakers’ GM, Mitch Kupchak, had a mask and a gun when he conducted those “negotiations”. Gasol had an injury that kept him out of about ten games, but with him in the line-up, the Lakers have won 20 and lost 5. The Lakers have to get an A+ for that deal.
The Phoenix Suns acquired Shaq. I did not think that was a good trade because I did not see how Shaq could fit into the way the Suns play – - and at first the fit was pretty bad. However, the Suns have gone 16-7 to close out the season, so maybe the coaches and players in Phoenix deserve a heap of credit for making this work? I remain skeptical – - albeit not nearly as much as I was – about this trade; so I’ll give the Suns a B+ as an interim grade. That can rise if they make a playoff run and it can sink if they go in the tank next season without making a playoff run this year.
The Mavericks acquired Jason Kidd in the shameful trade that could only be made because Keith Van Horn nominally “came out of retirement” for a month and collected about $4M. I still say that makes a mockery of the NBA salary cap and something has to be done to prevent that from happening again. Nevertheless, the Mavericks have not been shining since the trade. They were 35-18 when the trade went down; they are merely 15-11 since the trade. In addition, they are only 3-11 against teams with winning records since the trade. I’ll give the Mavs an interim grade of C for the trade. It can go up if they win the NBA championship this year. If not, it will likely go down because they gave away young players to get a 35-year-old point guard in Kidd.
The Cavaliers traded a bunch of guys to get a bunch of guys. I said at the time that I did not see how the Cavs would be a lot better with the likes of Wally Szcerbiak, Ben Wallace and the much-traveled Joe Smith as the supporting cast for LeBron James instead of what they had. [I did say I liked Delonte West whom they also acquired.] Well, the Cavs were 30-24 on the day of the trade and have gone 13-12 since the trade. While it would seem as if this trade ought to get a grade well below a C, I’ll give the Cavs a C because they traded accessory parts for accessory parts and there is no reason to think they cannot move some of these guys along to get other accessory parts sometime in the future.
[Tax Day Interlude: Have you ever noticed that when a politician says you will pay a “slight tax increase” it costs you several hundreds of dollars and when he/she passes a “substantial tax cut”, you wind up with an extra $3.47 in your pocket? Just asking…]
I’m happy to know that such an esteemed sports columnist as Scott Ostler (SF Chronicle) agrees with my position that the Olympic Torch Relay should be stopped. Here is one of his observations on that subject:
“Marion Jones’ 400-meter and 1,600-meter relay teammates from the Sydney Olympics have been asked to give back their medals. Finally, a practical use for the Olympic Torch: Melt down all the repo’d scrap metal.”
Now let me pose a question to you regarding Professor Ostler’s observation. You are one of the people who won medals in the Sydney Olympics on those relay teams with Marion Jones. Your medal is safely locked away in your safety deposit box. You get a letter from the IOC telling you to send it back to them – - presumably in a postage paid envelope. Under those circumstances, could you write them a letter in response that would not require significant “bleeping” if read aloud? I don’t think I could.
Finally, in honor of tax day, here is a line from Will Rogers that was true when he said it 80 years ago and remains true today:
“The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn’t get worse every time Congress meets.”
But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…