“To be or not to be. That is the question…” [Hamlet, Act III. Scene I] Shakespeare wrote those words about 400 years ago regarding a Danish prince who was having trouble deciding if he wanted to be a living organism or a corpse. Spoiler alert: At the end of the play, Hamlet is toes up…
The modern version of Hamlet would necessarily have someone posing the question, “To be a quarterback or not to be a quarterback. That is the question.” Maybe the play would be called Favrelet and while we do not quite know what might happen in 2008, we can be pretty sure that at some time he will wind up “not as a quarterback”. Until then, I would ask the sports journalists who cover the NFL and who comment on the NFL to resist the temptation to get an easy story out of this and give it a rest.
Dog bites man is not news. Bret Favre pondering his future as a quarterback is not news. If and when Favre signs with an NFL team (Packers or anyone else) and shows up in training camp, that will be news – - only because he said he was retiring a few months ago. If and when Peyton Manning shows up in training camp, it will not be news because Manning never hinted that he would not show up in training camp.
I have no animosity for Brett Favre and I have no doubt that if he played this year he would be better than at least 20 other starting QBs in the NFL – and maybe 25. What has worn me out is the constant drumbeat of “will he or won’t he” play this year. If we could give that story about a four-week rest, the answer will come to us rather clearly.
Since I started on an NFL vector today, let me continue. The league held its “Rookie Symposium” at a deluxe resort and spa last week. Every rookie attended; had they “cut class” it would have cost them a $50K fine. [Aside: Maybe the NCAA should consider this kind of sanction for its “student-athletes” as a way to get them into classes. Just saying…] The symposium covered such topics as money-management, dealings with the media, player conduct (on and off the field) and sexually transmitted diseases.
Specifically, the league told rookies to avoid things like hand signals that have any similarity to gang-style hand signals. The death of Darrent Williams last year has been linked to some of these misinterpreted hand signals. Additionally, the league has tried to warn rookies that they will have friends and family members coming out of the woodwork – all with their hands out in anticipation of some money – now that the rookies have “made it into the big time”. In addition, the NFL had players who have had some troubles in their lives come to speak to the rookies such as Koren Robinson and Jared Allen.
The bottom line here is that the NFL gave these rookie players a sense of what was coming at the players and what the league can do to help them if the players avail themselves of the help. Moreover, the players now know what is expected of them; and so when there are transgressions, they cannot use the “How was I supposed to know…?” defense.
The Baltimore Ravens plan to use some trained ravens as part of their pre-game hype/ ceremony/whatever this year. Personally, I would prefer not to have anything flying over my head that might choose to leave a present on my head, but that’s just me. The PETA people are outraged – - surprise, surprise!
PETA has obviously communicated with ravens from all over the world because they have announced that the ravens will suffer trauma, confusion, and tension based on having to fly out of a “smoky tunnel” and be in the midst of all of the “noise” of the pre-game festivities. Since PETA can obviously communicate with these birds, why doesn’t PETA just tell the ravens to foul the stands repeatedly so that the team stops this cruel practice? Unless, of course, PETA cannot communicate with the ravens and once again is using hyperbolic rhetoric to garner publicity… They wouldn’t do that; would they?
Here is a rhetorical question:
In order to join PETA, does one need to be a PITA? [Work on that acronym folks; it will come to you soon…]
Now we have to keep this a secret or the PITAs in PETA will get even goofier than they are. There are boatloads of football teams that use animals – live ones, real ones – as mascots at football games. Off the top of my head, there is the Texas longhorn, the Colorado buffalo, UGA the bulldog, the Air Force falcon, the Army mule, the Navy goat and the team of horses that pull the Sooner Schooner. If anyone at PETA headquarters focuses on all of those situations, they might go into a condition of “righteous indignation overload”.
The promos for this year’s ESPYs have begun. Do not get me started on the self-eating watermelon that is the ESPYs. ESPN creates a meaningless award and exaggerates them as something that matters more than half a whit just so it can have programming to put on the air during the sporting dog days of summer. Then they try to pretend that it matters… I notice that Justin Timberlake will be the emcee this year. That means that even with a gun in my mouth, I would not watch this nonsense.
Here is a Quick Quiz:
What was the low point to date in Justin Timberlake’s life?
a. Being with Brittney Spears
b. Creating Janet Jackson’s “wardrobe malfunction” as part of her pathetic attempt to resurrect her relevance
c. Being the emcee of the ESPYs.
Discuss in 100 words or less…
Finally, since I mentioned the infamous Janet Jackson “wardrobe malfunction” above, I always wondered why she never used the “Cover 1 defense” as her excuse for that happenstance.
But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…