Three friends of mine – I actually do have friends – have a multi-game plan to see the Washington Wizards and they have really good seats on one of the club levels. Yesterday afternoon, the wife of one of these guys had to go to the emergency room so there was no way he was going to last night’s Wizards/Sixers game. [She was passing a kidney stone; I know what that is like; I also know that she is going to be fine in a couple of days. That’s the good news.] So, I had the opportunity to go to the game with the other two gentlemen.
For several years, I have sworn off regular-season NBA basketball but the chance to check out these sweet seats with two old friends was sufficiently enticing to get me to the Verizon Center. The seats were great; other than sitting at the scorer’s table, they were as good as any in the house. The camaraderie was great – particularly after we got the e-mail from the missing ticket-holder about the diagnosis for his wife. At the same time, the game was awful and reinforced why regular season NBA games need to remain on my “shunned” list.
The Wizards are a dreadful team and the Sixers are a “break-even team”. Last night’s game was tedious at best; it was played just fast enough to generate mistakes and bad shots for both sides but not nearly fast enough to be exciting and effective basketball. It was a “one-possession game” for much of the first half and the margin was three points at the half; nevertheless the crowd was about a step-and-a-half above comatose and the players were about two steps above somnambulation. Someone must have buzzed an alarm clock in the Sixers’ locker room at halftime because they came out for the second half with a spurt of energy and attention, took a double-digit lead quickly and then both teams settled back onto a lethargic glide-path for the rest of the game.
The crowd yelled louder for the “dot-race feature” on the scoreboard than for all but about two plays in the entire game. Even the exhortations to “make some noise” produced nothing that approached the decibel level of the pumped in noise from the house DJ. Even the Wizards’ “cheerleaders” could not create sustained enthusiasm; and let me be clear about this, the thing that was missing from some of their cheers was a pole for each of them to use as a prop.
I started by saying these were great seats; the walk-up price is in the low triple digits. Other prices in the Verizon Center are anything but “family-friendly” in these economic times. A hot dog and a beer will run you 12 bucks; a bag of peanuts and a large soda will take $8.50 out of your exchequer. If you are there with your kids, do not take them anywhere near the souvenir stands without already having a line of credit established somewhere. All this for dull basketball and a mid-week game that had all the impact of pocket lint…
My friends say they will cut back their plan next season due to economic concerns. At the moment, they think they will get cheaper seats and fewer games. The Wizards are in the midst of a horrid exacta; the economy is down and the team stinks. Maybe next year those “cheerleaders” will actually have poles out there on the court with them as props? The Wizards will have to do something to get folks in the arena…
Speaking of the NBA, the Knicks and Stephon Marbury have parted. Whoever presided over the final negotiations that engendered that separation should qualify immediately for an exorcist’s license. With Marbury gone, the Knicks’ franchise can be said to be in remission; if the Celtics sign him – as is widely rumored – someone needs to schedule that franchise for chemotherapy.
Charles Barkley will spend about a week in jail as a result of his DUI arrest and subsequent happenings. DUI is a serious thing because the person doing it puts other innocent folks in danger while he/she is behind the wheel in that condition. I fear that Sir Charles is in danger of recidivism here – - not because he is a bad person. This is a man who will confront multiple demons simultaneously more than once in a while. You have seen Charles Barkley play golf and you have seen that swing of his – - the one that is not nearly as smooth as one you can find for a claymation figure. So, after a round of golf with that swing where his total score for the round nudges closer to 200 than it is to 100, he goes into the clubhouse bar and orders – - an iced tea? I don’t think so. Then comes the trip back home…
Memo to Sir Charles: Be strong. Stay well.
I mentioned above the Wizards’ potential problems next year because of the economy. It seems as if the NY Yankees are feeling some of the heat right now. The Yankees are running ads in NY papers touting the availability of seats “between first and third base” at $325 a seat. I do not think this is a form of “charity” by the Yankees paying for repeated large ads in local newspapers because the team realizes that the papers are in financial trouble. This can only mean the seats are not sold yet – - and the Yankees are already playing Spring Training games. I mentioned this to my friends last night and one of them – a Yankee-hater forever – said that he hoped there were loads of empty seats for opening day at the new stadium and that those empty seats showed up all over the TV camera shots for the whole game.
That is simply not going to happen. The Yankees will not have hundreds of empty seats between first and third base for the cameras to focus on – and for ESPN to comment on – for opening day at the new stadium. If the team has to go around to homeless shelters all over the five boroughs of the city and dress up the residents there in acceptable clothing, there will be fannies in those seats.
Tipping his hat to the creativity of minor league baseball to come up with clever promotional events, Brad Rock of the Deseret Morning News had this suggestion:
“How about honoring victims of Dick Vitale’s audio assaults?
“Bring foam ear plugs and call it “ReVITALE-izing Your Hearing Night.”
Finally, here is an item from Dwight Perry in the Seattle Times that probably slipped below your radar – - and for which he should be ashamed:
“And in baseball transactions, the White Sox have re-signed stadium organist Nancy Faust to a two-year deal, the Chicago Sun-Times reported.
“The Marlins’ offer was also tempting, insiders say, but she didn’t like the Florida keys.”
But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…