We have turned the calendar page twelve times and 2009 is about to disappear into the rearview mirror. Sadly, some folks will not be joining us on the journey into the next year/decade. Here are a few we might want to remember.
January:
Senator Claiborn Pell issued his last grant.
Joe Hirsch, Daily Racing Form columnist, cashed his final exacta.
Ricardo Montalban drove his Chrysler Cordoba – with its “fine Corinthian leather” seats – into the sunset.
Andrew Wyeth dipped his final brush.
February:
Millard Fuller, founder of Habitat for Humanity, drove his final nail.
James Whitmore took his final direction.
Dewey Martin will be visiting neither Buffalo nor Springfield again.
Brad Van Pelt made his final tackle.
Paul Harvey told the final chapter of “The Rest Of The Story”.
March:
George McAfee toted the ball for the final time.
Natasha Richardson started taking skiing lessons in the sky.
George Kell played his final game of pepper.
Irving R. Levine signed off for the last time.
Lou Saban held his final practice session.
April:
Marvin “The Human Eraser” Webster had his life erased.
Harry Kalas’ microphone went silent.
Marilyn Chambers went “behind the green door” one last time.
“Doc” Blanchard took his final handoff.
May:
Jack Kemp called his last audible and ran his final political campaign.
Dom DeLuise had one last bowl of pasta.
Dom DiMaggio took a called strike three. [Bad month for people named “Dom”.]
Danny Ozark uttered his final malapropism.
Bea Arthur deadpanned her last line.
June:
David Carradine began his celestial Kung-fu practice.
Roy Boe had to explain to St. Peter why he sold Dr. J to the Sixers.
Michael Jackson took his search for the lost glove into the cosmos.
Billy Mays made God a special offer on two tubs of Oxi-Clean.
July:
Alexis Arguello took a ten count.
Karl Malden watched the credits roll one last time.
Steve McNair strapped on his helmet for the last time.
Walter Cronkite signed off. “And that’s the way it is…”
August:
Eunice Kennedy Shriver started awarding Special Olympics medals in Heaven.
Robert Novak filed his final column. [His mantra was “Always love your country but never trust your government.” Not bad advice over the years…]
Les Paul joined a Heavenly jam session.
Dan Hewitt left the planet – - perhaps to create a Celestial version of 60 Minutes with Walter Cronkite.
Senator Edward Kennedy reunited with Mary Jo Kopechne.
September:
Dr. Myles Brand tried explaining the BCS to God – - with no success.
Mary Travers joined Puff the Magic Dragon and slipped into a cave.
Jody Powell began conducting news conferences in the sky.
Jack Kramer lost match point to The Grim Reaper.
William Safire showed God how to diagram sentences.
October:
Larry Jansen was taken out of the game for the last time.
“Captain” Lou Albano went through the Pearly Gates – - and had a foreign object concealed in his tights.
Cullen Bryant took his final handoff.
Jack Nelson filed his last exclusive story.
Soupy Sales took a pie in the face one last time.
November:
Claude Levi-Strauss buttoned up his jeans for the last time. [Not really…]
Bobby Frankel saddled his last winner.
Abe Pollin started watching NBA games from a real “Sky Box”.
December:
Tommy Heinrich struck out – but still made it to celestial first base.
Foge Fazio held his final football practice.
Gene Barry had his Rolls Royce driver deliver him to the Pearly Gates.
Paul Samuelson began his professorship at Cosmos University.
Oral Roberts started preaching to the choir in Heaven.
Chris Henry caught his final fade pattern.
Arnold Stang joined Uncle Miltie in a vaudeville skit in Heaven.
George Michael turned off The Sports Machine one last time.
May all of these folks, rest in peace…
One person who remains with us as we go forward into the next decade is the guy who plays “The Most Interesting Man In The World” on the advertisements for Dos Equis beer. He started me thinking about something that might come to fruition in 2010:
Who is The Most Uninteresting Person In the World?
Would the guy in that beer commercial make the list?
But don’t get me wrong, I love sports…