Yesterday, I wrote about some of the difficulties that Dennis Green was having in Arizona living up to his reputation as a certified coaching genius. I said that they had a chance to be 4-6 after a soft stretch of games coming up in the schedule but it wasn't an hour after that rant hit the streets that I got this response from a long-time reader:

"the arizona cardinals have a better chance of being two and eight than they have of being four and six. the only smart thing dennis green ever did as a coach was have his qb throw long to randy moss a lot. I'm still waiting for him to do a smart thing as a gm. using his free agent dollars to sign a big time running back with no offensive line to block for him doesn't quite cut it. he's an overrated bozo."

Obviously, this reader is into saving time and energy because he eschews the use of the "Shift" key. Equally obviously, he is auditioning as The Substitute Sports Curmudgeon for the times when I go on vacation. But to tell the truth, I can't really disagree with anything he said in his commentary.

When the Steelers introduced the Terrible Towels about 30 years ago, it was new and fresh. Waving small towels in the stands of all kinds of sporting events has become a cliché - although I want to make it clear that waving a towel as a cliché still beats the bejeepers out of those moronic "thundersticks" that some teams encourage. Now, the Cleveland Browns have shown a lack of marketing creativity and a complete insensitivity to potential ridicule because they are promoting the sale of towels for their fans to wave. The towels are brown and each is called "The Dirty Brown Towel". Let me point out that the way the Browns have been playing since their reincarnation by the league in the late 1990s, one might associate the "brownness" on that towel with fecal matter because they've been playing like "horse bleep" for a while now. What marketing genius thought that was a good idea? Here's part of the verbiage used to try to get you to buy this product for $8:

"Imagine the energy form the thousands of roaring fans swinging 'The Dirty Brown Towel'… 'The Dirty Brown Towel' will represent a high level of fan loyalty and commitment to the Browns."

Right. It might also represent the use of the towel to deal with accidents from over indulgence on chili at the pre-game tailgate party.

Overall, the Kansas City Chiefs are 2-2; they are 2-0 against the teams from the NFC West. Unfortunately, the Chiefs compete in the AFC West. Similarly, the Washington Redskins are 2-0 against teams from the NFC South at the moment. Unfortunately, the Redskins are in the NFC East where their overall 2-3 record has them in last place at the moment.

I mentioned recently that Art Shell's demeanor on the sidelines looked like one of the Mount Rushmore carvings as the Raiders demonstrated their "Commitment to Incompetence" for 2006. I can't read minds; but if I acquired that gift, I'd really like to read Art Shell's mind about now. He has to be asking himself what made him think taking this job was a good idea and he has to be wondering how no one on his staff seems to be aware that the NFL game of 2006 is not the same as the NFL game of the 1990s or the 1980s or …

The NFL game has changed but the Raiders approach to the game hasn't. Importantly, the Raiders of 2006 seem to be as dedicated to the commitment of stupid penalties as Raiders' teams were in the past. The difference is that past Raiders' teams had the innate talent to overcome many of those penalties; this one simply does not.

Here's a baseball stat I ran across recently. Three pitchers are tied among active major leaguers for most grand slams given up with eight. One is Tom Gordon who just finished his 18th season; OK, he's been around a while so bad things happen. Another is Kenny Rogers who may have pitched to Honus Wagner at the end of Wagner's playing days. OK, he's been around a while too so bad things happen. However, the third person sharing this dubious distinction is Cliff Lee who has had only three full seasons in MLB and made some cameo appearances in two others. Wow!

I mentioned last week that a consortium including Christian Laettner has made an offer to buy the Memphis Grizzlies. Let's assume that offer is accepted and the new ownership group takes control. Obviously, the NBA would not allow Laettner to play for any other team in the league while being a part owner of the Grizzlies, but would he be allowed to play for his own team? How might this fit in with the extant CBA? All players have to be members of the Players Association, but can an owner be part of the Players Association? And how might that work if there were intense negotiations ongoing toward a new CBA? I haven't heard David Stern address this issue yet. That's probably because he's so busy explaining why the NBA had to change the basketballs they will use this season and why the league will be issuing technical fouls for theatrical protests when a referee calls a foul and for entering the game without the shirt tucked in after being warned to dress properly. Yep. Those issues are really important…

I'm not a big hockey guy, but even I know that the NY Islanders signed their goalie to a 15-year contract this summer. I believe that equates to 1230 regular season games where you can pencil him in as the Islanders' goalie. I don't understand that, but I know it happened. In the first game this year, that goalie was pulled from the game after two periods because he had allowed six goals in those two periods. Fans probably left the arena thinking:

OK, that's one down and 1229 to go…

Finally, Greg Cote had this marketing tip for the Florida Marlins in the Miami Herald after Fredi Gonzalez was named manager of the Marlins:

"Free in-game entertainment tip for the 2007 Marlins: Constant between-innings playing of Do the Freddie, a minor 1965 hit by Freddie and the Dreamers. Season theme: Fredi & The Dreamers. Not bad!"

But don't get me wrong, I love sports...

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