There used to be an ad on TV with a tagline that went something like, "You only get one chance to make a first impression." The ad campaign cannot have been hugely successful because I don't remember what product it was pitching - maybe Beano, that would make sense. Well, for anyone reading one of these essays for the first time, let me be sure to let you know how things go around here:

Jay Cutler, you blew your first impression.

The stats will say that Cutler had a 71-yard TD pass in that game. Sure enough, that's what happened because after throwing about an 8-yard stop route, the receiver broke a tackle and then the rest of the Seahawks' secondary decided to demonstrate the woeful lack of tackling skills that pervade the NFL these days. The 8-yard pass, which would have not been enough for a first down, became a touchdown. Other than that, Jay Cutler can look back on that game and take great pride in those isolated moments when he actually achieved mediocrity.

Having said that, I don't think he is such a bad choice for the Broncos given that the Jake Plummer Era in Denver has to have run its course. But I never saw any plays on Sunday that made me stop and say, "OK, now I understand why the Broncos traded up to get this guy; he's going to be something special." My reaction to his first game was sort of like my reaction to the time I saw Patrick Ramsey play in his first game - tough kid, decent arm, wonder if he'll ever figure out what NFL football is all about?

Here are my five worst teams from last weekend:

5. Packers: When you fall behind the Jets by 31 points at halftime, you have to make this list somewhere.

4. Rams: When you lose to the Cardinals by 2 TDs, you have to make this list somewhere.

3. Texans: Even though they won their game, this team makes the list because their net passing yardage for the day was minus-5 yards and the total offense for the day was 124 yards.

2. Raiders: They lost to the Texans despite what I just said about how bad the Texans were by turning the ball over 5 times.

1. Redskins: They led by 14 in the first quarter and gained over 5 yards per carry against the Falcons. Then the ever-brilliant coaching staff decided to go for style points and stopped pounding the ball. Result was the Skins never scored again and lost by 10 points.

As I look at the NFL standings this morning, my focus isn't on who will make the playoffs and who will get a bye in the playoffs. I'm looking at the other end of the spectrum and wondering which of the 2-10 teams - Detroit or Oakland - deserves relegation to NFL Europe.

If Oakland gets the first pick, they will probably take a QB since they so desperately need one. Assume that happens for a moment and Detroit has the second pick. Could the Lions possibly have the chutzpah to draft WR Calvin Johnson (Ga. Tech) with the next pick?

I wonder if any of the denizens of Raider Nation noticed any great philosophical change in the offensive play calling now that the John Shoop Era has begun in Oakland. The game result wasn't different; Randy Moss' stats were hardly eye-popping. It would appear as if this game was a throwback to the days of single wing offenses. The Raiders' offense scored one TD, allowed 5 sacks, lost 3 fumbles, threw 2 INTs and missed three field goals - - two of which were inside 40 yards. Sheesh!

There have been some bizarre officiating calls in NFL games this season. It almost seems as if a hit on the quarterback is like playing the "roughing the passer lottery"; sometimes the defender wins and gets away with it and sometimes the passer wins and gets the call. Pass interference calls couldn't become more inconsistent if they used the American Idol voting system on each play. I'm telling you that there will be significant controversy during the playoffs and the Super Bowl again this year; the Seattle/Pittsburgh fiasco from last year was just a prelude.

Speaking of the playoffs, I have a suggestion for the NFL. Look at the standings and look at the game tapes. Now, quickly pass a one-time rule change that will allow eight teams from the AFC and four teams from the NFC into the playoffs this year. I think that the two NFC wild-card teams are going to be just a tad on the odiferous side come January.

In that Cardinals' win over the Rams on Sunday, Edgerrin James finally ran for more than 100 yards. It's his first such game since heading out west; more surprisingly, it had been 37 games since a Cardinals' running back had done that. Do the math, that's just about 2.5 seasons since the last time someone wearing that uniform rushed for 100 yards.

Earlier this year, Giants' TE, Jeremy Shockey, criticized the coaching on the team. Tiki Barber made similar reverences/innuendoes in the past. This week, Michael Strahan drew a bead on one of his teammates for lackluster hustle. The Giants lost again this week. I wonder which of the "veteran team leaders" on that squad will pop off this week and who will be the designated venom recipient for the week. Maybe the problem lies with the team chaplain who hasn't brought sufficient serenity and grace into the locker room. Yeah, that's it…

This story has to come from Mike Martz' agent; it appears as if there is some buzz starting about Martz getting another head coaching gig. Why would he be at the head of the line for one of the jobs that will certainly come open in the off-season? His years in St. Louis were marked by turmoil; his Super Bowl credentials come as an offensive coordinator, but his time with the Lions this year has hardly produced anything of note on that side of the ball. Oh, and the Lions ditched Joey Harrington as a QB partly because Martz didn't want him to play QB there; Harrington isn't an all-Pro by any means but he did have the Dolphins on a 4-game winning streak at one point this year. Mike Martz may be a wonderful person, but I have no idea why he should automatically be on anyone's short list during the coaching carousel in Jan/Feb 2007.

Finally, a note from syndicated columnist Norman Chad on NFL referee, Ed Hochuli:

"Hochuli doesn't officiate games, he adjudicates them. He can turn false starts into Felony 2. And when he comes out from under the hood and reverses a call, he orates a decision like he's handing down Brown v Board of Education."

But don't get me wrong, I love sports...

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