Last weekend was a good weekend for mythical picking. I went 11-7 for the weekend meaning there was a mythical $330 profit for the week. That brings the season totals to 20-18 and a mythical profit of $130. I just noticed that two of my seven losing wagers came in the Tampa/Atlanta game where I took Tampa with the points (ouch) and the OVER (double-ouch).
Even with that rosy picture staring you in the eye, it would be stupid for you to use any information herein as the basis for making any wager of any kind involving real money. How stupid, did you ask? If you did that, you'd probably need a full three-week seminar just to learn how to drool.
There are three pretty good games this weekend and five games that are in the stink-o-rama category. I think you'll be able to identify them as I go through the list and make my comments.
Jets at Buffalo - 6 (34.5): This game ranks only 1 Skunk on the stink-o-rama meter because each team has actually won a game. But neither team is very good. I would not risk even a farthing on this game in terms of real money, but as a mythical pick, I'll take the Jets with the points.
Cincy at Pittsburgh - 2.5 (41.5): This is one of the good games of the weekend. Last year, this match-up turned into a real rivalry situation and that was before the playoff game where Carson Palmer went down in the first series of plays. Pittsburgh had a very tough game last week at Jax while Cincy had a tune-up game situation. I'll take the game OVER 41.5. I'm tempted to take Cincy on the money line but the price isn't worth the risk.
Jax at Indy - 7.5 (45.5): This is the second of the good games this weekend; if Cincy/Pittsburgh isn't the best game of the week, then this one is. Jax played a super game on defense last weekend and now have to find a way to handle Peyton Manning and his crew of merry men. I'm not at all impressed with the Indy defense this year; they gave up 24 points to Houston last weekend and I think the Jags can run on them. I'll take Jax with the points here.
Tennessee at Miami - 11.5 (36): Low scoring game plus double-digit spread equals take the dog. Neither team has shown much so far this year. I don't see Tennessee doing much of anything for the rest of the year but if Miami doesn't win here, they can fold their tent for the season and figure out how they can get out from under Duante Culpepper's big contract. I can't find any way to believe that Tennessee will win this game but I also haven't seen anything remotely effective from the Miami offense. That's why this game gets a stink-o-rama rating of 4 Skunks. I'll take the Titans with the points here.
Washington - 3.5 at Houston (38): Both teams have stunk so far this year. If the Redskins don't win here, they can fold their tent for the season and figure out how they can get a quarterback who can master Al Saunders vaunted 700-page playbook. So far, that playbook has produced one offensive touchdown. The game gets 2 Skunks on the stink-o-rama scale. The Houston defense is ripe for the picking so I'll take the Redskins to win and cover here and I'll take the game OVER 38. No parlay here.
Chicago - 2.5 at Minnesota (35): The Bears have averaged 30 points a game so far but that was against the Lions and Packers. If the Bears can score 24 points in every game this year, they'll probably have home field advantage in the playoffs. Minnesota has been a pleasant surprise for their new coach and new owner but I think it comes to a halt this weekend. I like the Bears to win and cover.
Carolina - 3 at Tampa (35): Both teams had lofty aspirations for this season. The loser of this game will be 0-3 and can take those aspirations and blow them out a fundamental bodily orifice. It's going to be a low scoring game because the offenses have shown to be inept and the defenses have shown to be less inept thus far. So, I'll take Tampa here with the points because I like getting points in a low scoring game and because they're at home. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Green Bay at Detroit - 7 (39): Brett Favre has always played poorly in Detroit even when he was playing at a top-shelf level. He no longer does that on a weekly basis. Detroit has scored 13 points this year with "Madman" Mike Martz as the architect of its offense. Lions' receivers continue to talk about leaving 40 points on the field; let's get this straight; Sherlock Holmes couldn't find those 40 points out there in a million years. This game stinks; on a stink-o-rama scale give it 5 Skunks. Who knows what will happen here? I'm flipping a coin here and it says to take the game OVER.
Baltimore - 6 at Cleveland (33): The Browns are awful; just deal with it. The Ravens are not an offensive machine of any consequence, but they do play defense. Kellen Winslow II wants the Browns to "turn the offense loose". Here's the problem KW-II doesn't seem to understand. The QB is Charlie Frye; he has a QB Rating of 56.0; that is lower than the rating for Aaron Brooks, Mark Brunell and Duante Culpepper; Frye has thrown 5 INTs in two games and been sacked 6 times. Earth to KW-II; do you read us? I like the Ravens to win and cover here.
St. Louis at Arizona - 4.5 (45): The early precincts have reported in; Edgerrin James is gaining only 3.1 yards per carry behind the sorry-assed offensive line that the Arizona Sorry-Asses - - I mean Cardinals - - have put in front of him. James is on pace to gain 548 yards this season. Meanwhile the St. Louis offense has scored 1 TD in two games and just lost to the 49ers. This game has a stench factor of 3 Skunks. I haven't liked the Rams on the road for several years now and last week didn't convince me to change my mind. I don't like Arizona playing just about anywhere. I'm flipping my coin here and it says to take the Cards and lay the points
Giants at Seattle - 3.5 (44): This is the third of the good games this weekend. Both teams have good offenses, good defenses and good coaching. I think the question here is simple; did the Giants' comeback victory over the Eagles in OT last week represent a seasonal turning point for the team or was it just a one time happening. I think it was more important than a one time happening but not something that will propel the Giants to a win here. I wish the half-point wasn't there, but I'll still take the Seahawks to win and cover at home.
Philly - 5.5 at SF (42): Hopefully, the Eagles' braintrust learned from last week's debacle against the Giants that you don't take your foot off the gas with so much time left in the game. One could interpret what happened in the 4th quarter and the OT as the football gods signaling to Andy Reid and Jim Johnson that the game is 60 minutes long and if they don't play for 60 minutes the gods will make bad things happen to the Eagles. Even on the road and even against a 49ers' team that is much better than last year's team, I like the Eagles to win and cover. And, I like the game OVER. No parlay here.
Denver at New England - 7 (39): The Broncos have underachieved so far this year. Even though the Pats are 2-0, they have underachieved too. I like both teams to find themselves this week and I'll take the game OVER. If the Broncos happen to throw another clunker out there and lose this game badly, they will be looking at a tough way to go in order to get to the playoffs; this game is very important to Denver.
Atlanta - 3 at New Orleans (43.5): The Saints should be high as a kite emotionally. The Falcons have run the ball down their opponents' throats so far this year. I have no idea what is going on with these two teams other than the fact that ESPN must have made a deal with the Devil to have this game match two undefeated teams for MNF. This is a pure guess; I'll take the Falcons and lay the points.
Good luck.
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